At first it’s boring and then it’s Riveting!
How boring!
Its a boring job
but I said that would be boring.
It was kind of bore-ing.
Authorities are looking into it.
I’ll just see myself out, thanks.
Police are looking into it.
It was pretty boring.
It's such a bore.
It's just boring.
He seemed like a pretty down to earth guy.
...but it's really just boring
other people think its boring.
I guess a black hole is in the center of the Milky Way
they drilled a Pilate hole.
And I was watching him for a few minutes and I started to walk away And he shouted out "What am I boring?" I replied "no, not at all" He shouted out as I walked away " of course I'm boring! Boring holes that is!"
First drill a hole in the ice and line it with green peas. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the icehole!
(Told to me by my dad at dinner this evening)
It was a bit boring.
So they get their parkas and snow boots, fishing rods and ice auger, and everything else they need, and go out to find a good spot.
Just as they start to drill a hole in the ice, they hear a great booming voice from above: "There are no fish here!"
"What was that?"
"It sounded like the voice of God!"
"Well let's try somewhere else."
They move away a bit, and settle down to try again. But before they can even start to drill, they hear it again:
"There are no fish here!"
So they pack up and move even farther down the ice. Surely this will be a good spot. But just as they pull out the auger, the voice booms out again:
"Listen you guys, I'm the manager of this ice rink, and I'm telling you there are no fish here!"
Son, I'm looking for that tool of mine that makes holes in things. You know, the drill.
By freezing it and drilling holes in it!!
The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.
Puns for Kids
Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!
Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!
Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.
How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
What musical is about a train conductor? “My Fare, Lady”.
A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
What animals are on legal documents? Seals!
Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!
Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.
Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!
How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Dockyard: A physician’s garden.
What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!
The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.
“What’s purple and 5000 miles long?” “Ooh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”
Every calendar’s days are numbered.
This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Four bucks,” says the bartender. “Put it on my bill.”
I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!
When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is
... keep reading on reddit ➡I had just finished drilling a hole in the back side of my desk to pass the keyboard and mouse cables through.
Me: Would you like me to modify your desk too?
Wife: uuuuuhhh...
Me: The correct answer is "yes".
Wife: Oh! Yes I desperately need my desk fixed.
Me: DESK-perately?
Wife: Deskperately...
Me: Ok, I'll do anything for a damsel in deskstress.
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
- Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
- It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
- What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
- Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
- Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
- Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
- If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
- Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
- Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
- American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
- The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
- Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
- Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
- Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
- Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
- Rittal me this, Batman!
- Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
- Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
- If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
- When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
- You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
- Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
- Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
- Don't think Seton is
The bearded salesman said "There's no discount for the holes." I mentioned that I used to operate the machine that drilled holes in acoustic tiles. He said "I bet that was a boring job". He was in full dad mode.
After drilling a hole, inserting the plastic sleeve, then driving a philips head to attach the nanny cam securely to the wall in our baby's room...
Wife: "Good job! You nailed it!"
Me: "Actually honey, I screwed it."
> Having holes drilled into house for insulation
> Standing outside with Dad watching workmen do their thing
"Is our house a church now?" I ask.
> Strange look from Dad and other workmen
"Seems like we have... hol(e)y walls!"
> Cue me standing there, grinning like I'm Jimmy Carr, Dad facepalming.
-"What's tiny, green, lives one meter below ground and eats rocks?" -"...." -"The tiny green rock eater of course!"
Shortly after follow up with:
-"If you drill a hole through the entire earth and drop a rock into it, how far does it fall?" -"......." -"One meter, then the tiny green rock eater eats it!"
Maybe I should clarify that I am of the male persuasion.
My dad was drilling a hole in his bathroom cabinet to add a handle.
Dad: "I don't think I was supposed to do that..."
Me: "Do what?"
Dad: "What are you a background singer now?"
Took me a second but I can't stop laughing now!
It's boring.
It's such a bore.
First, you drill a hole in the ice then line it with peas. When the bear comes to take a pee, you kick him in the ice hole.
(My daughter's joke actually)
