There were only 3 of them so my coworker said "huh, that's odd."
"Of course man, if we had 4 it would be even."
He did laugh but not as hard as me.
I can't handle them
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
So, I handed him a glass of water.
Eventually we drifted apart.
It was such a nice jester
"You're both worth more than you used to be, even though you're unhinged and your knobs don't work!"
That plumber has some sense of humour
He never quite got the hang of assembling Ikea furniture.
Push and Pull.
They’re changing their name to Knockers.
So I told Her,"No.I'm half German and half Irish."
Because if it had four it would be a chicken sedan.
We got a long well.
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
I told him "Nah, that's a door"
But it's not a jar, it's a refrigerator.
Adoorbell.
I'm not sure what scared him more. MY naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived !
I said "well don't just stand there, in vitamin"
Matt
“Isabell”,he said
They were called ours
Business must really be blooming.
Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
Let that sink in.
I replied "I'll have soup, please"
I’m on the fence about it.
"Nice bewbs! Now where do you want me to hang the blind?"
...the Land of the Rising Son?”
She says "who is it?"
"It's the blind man" comes the response.
Ok, thinks the nun. "Come in then".
In walks the man; "nice tits, now where do you want this blind?"
Luckily I was still up playing the drums.
They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.
Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.
As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.
They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.
Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?
They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.
"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".
They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.
But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.
The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.
And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!
Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?
"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"
In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and
... keep reading on reddit ➡They are calling it Tailor Swift.
Doesn't ring a bell
So I gave him a glass of water...
During my walkthrough it was a floor gone conclusion.
Just from the first sentence, I knew he meant business.
he won the no-bell prize!
I need closure.
That's armoire
Luckily I was still up playing my drums.
Mary go round.
...and told me my dog was chasing someone on a bike.
I said, "That's weird; I didn't even think he knew how to ride one!"
Let that sink in…
...Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker.
I think I’m being stalked.
You in"vitamin"
When I take it off the hinges and turn it into my new workbench because you won't stop slamming it, young man!
What a revolutionary idea!
I think he is slowly losing the plot...
I let that sink in.
>Here comes the plane!
Just let that sink in...
NOK NOK.
Because they're out of key.
It was ...a house warming gift.
Just let that sink in
Ajar with plumb jamb!
We opened for The Doors
He said, "Working from home"
I mean, imagine all the peepholes.
He was a great man, but a terrible cupboard maker.
When he got to old man Johnson’s house the old man said “My yard doesn’t need any work, but my porch is in need of a coat of paint. I’ll pay you 50 bucks, and if you finish by sundown I’ll throw in a 50 dollar bonus”.
With a confused look on his face little Johnny accepted the offer and got to work.
Less than an hour later little Johnny knocked on old man Johnson’s door to collect his hundred dollars.
“All finished, that’ll be one hundred dollars”!
Noticing there wasn’t a single drop of paint on the porch the old man started quizzing little Johnnys integrity.
“Now little Johnny, are you absolutely positively one hundred percent sure you finished painting my porch”?
“I sure am! Oh and by the way that’s not a porch, it’s a Ferrari”!
A Jar-O
Because if it had 4, it would be a chicken sedan!
Because it would be a chicken sedan
Because if they had four they would be chicken sedans
If it had 4 doors it'd be a chicken sedan
Because if it had four it would be a chicken sedan.
Just in case there's a salad dressing
Just in case there's a salad dressing.
Because if it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken sedan.
Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan.
If it had 4 doors, it would be a chicken sedan.
Ok, I'm leaving .....
When it’s ajar
It was a nice jester.
My plumber's got a weird sense of humour.
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"
Eventually we drifted apart.
I gave him a glass of water.
