A list of puns related to "Divorcing"
But will she leave me ?
Find out next week.
Sorry North, things went South.
But the judge tells him...
" I'm sorry Mickey.. But I can't grant you a divorce just because you say your wife is a little weird."
Mickey says..
" I didn't say she was a little weird... I said she was Fucking Goofy !"
Paying the salimony!
The woman tries to pity the judge: -Judge, I carried this child 9 months in my belly, it is the flesh of my flesh and it comes directly to me! The judge is moved and says: -Right mam, but now, lets listen to your husband's arguments. The man prefers to use his pragmatic side, and says: -Judge, when I put my coin in the vending machine,Is the can mine or is it to the machine?
She's going to bleed him dry!
He found her to be possessive- and she hated his contractions. The marriage felt like a sentence
It's the Pits.
Are they still brother and sister?
I saw it coming from a kilometer away.
Because he has nothing left.
Because he took her for granite 😁
From reality.
A FedEx-Wife
It’s a whole family feud
So I called her Bluff...
His wife and him werent in a stable relationship
Avoiding the X helps a lot
North, things between West and me has recently gone South.
Ended in a custardy battle.
His marriage was unionized
Apparently they're mixed up in a custardy battle
but now I’m in the lapse of luxury
....and write "EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH" on top.
She said she’s tired of all of my tree puns.
He is now her axe-husband.
Don’t brie upset, it’s for the greater gouda
He substituted his wife for an ex.
It was a pretty stable relationship
He didn't see that coming at all
He is a great Sensei, but he's not very skilled at the marital arts.
She ended up getting custardy
I found out she was seeing someone on the side
Marriage.
All he was left with was a mushroom.
Don’t worry, ”I’ll return”.
We didn't see eye to eye and I think she was seeing someone on the side.
Judge: "I don't understand, what happened?"
Woman: "I work in a pharmacy. I met him when he first came there last week and asked to purchase an X-X-X-X-L condom. That's when I thought, for a happy pleasureful life, I should get him to marry me before any other girls find out and lap him up."
Judge: "ok.... then? "
Woman: "I held my excitement all day thru the wedding, waiting for the night..... so at night when I my curiosity couldn't wait any longer........I found out something."
Judge: "what?"
Woman: "the Bastard has speech disorder.... he STAMMERS!!"
Marriage
Because red blue green
She has left a Mark.
Wife’s too short
Their existence is memeingless.
I saw that coming a kilometer away
“I didn’t say she was stupid, I said she was fucking Goofy”
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