Dip Into Puns

It was a queso mistaken identity.

It's pretty nuts if you ask me!

He dyed.

Chemist 1 : Hey, try this new soda I like so much.

Chemist 2 : takes litmus paper and dips it into the glass

Chemist 1 : You don’t trust me?

Chemist 2 : It was just a lye detector test.

"Hey, barkeep!" he says, struggling to keep control of his quarry. "Any room for me and my friends?"

The bartender smiles and sets down some plastic cups. The man plops his friends inside, but the cups are too small.

"Um...barkeep?" the man says, pulling them out again. The bartender reaches for some larger mugs, but as he places them next to the cups, it becomes obvious that even these will be too small for the pigs.

Seeing the man struggle to continue holding them, the bartender runs to the kitchen for help.

A cook emerges, holding several large measuring cups. "Sorry, I just used these to make a batch of cheese dip, but they're all yours!"

The man carefully plops each pig into its respective gooey yellow cup.

Arms exhausted, breathing heavily, he drops into a stool at the end of the bar, between his tiny friends and a beautiful girl.

He glances her way, gasping coyly. "Hey...I'm...Tom."

She smiles, having watched the whole ordeal. "Hi Tom, I'm Liz. And if you don't mind me asking..." she laughs, looking over his shoulder, "what was that all about?"

He glances back at the bar. "Yeah...sorry," he pants. "I wanted...to impress you, but...it turned out to be...a pretty cheesy...pig-cup line."

Host dips her chip into a bowl of taco dip, breaks chip, new person arrives at the front door, host gives up and walks away with chip stuck in dip.

Person next to me: "Wow, she just left it in there."

Me: "Yeah, she abandoned chip..."

Wife just groans and walks away.

A Canadian man and a Mexican man were sitting down eating some Mexican cuisine. Fajitas, tacos, burritos, and tortilla chips with queso.

The Canadian man goes to dip his chips into the queso when he notices it's all gone.

C: Dude, you ate all of the cheese!

M: K.....So?

...and we're all standing there watching the sun dip into the ocean when my Dad says "I can't see it--the sun's in my eyes."

I think we were the only ones who laughed.

It was a queso mistaken identity.

It’s pretty nuts

It's pretty nuts.

It's pretty nuts

It's pretty nuts

Police have reported a man going into local craft stores dipping his testicles in glitter. It's pretty nuts.

Police have reported a man going into local craft stores dipping his testicles in glitter. It's pretty nuts.