Detentions Puns

-Why did she give you detention if Mike was the one who was smoking ?

-She says that I’m the one who set him on fire.

I said that calculating to 2 decimal places was enough for almost all equations, and 3.14 was "accepted" as Pi. He INSISTED on taking it to 5 decimal places, stating that 3.14159 was far more accurate on a large scale, and reducing to 3.14 would cause errors.

While I agreed with him on some issues, I persisted that I was correct. Most calculations in school don't require 5 decimal places, and he was just creating unnecessary work. His retort was that school was about learning, and we needed to learn how to do things the right way and not the easy way.

Naturally, this got pretty heated. We raised our voices, got angry, used some harsh words trying to prove our points, and both got detention for arguing and disrupting the teacher's lesson.

And that's the story about how I go suspended for math debating in class.

for being tarty

Where are your murals, boy?

They're now in detention.

Well they couldn't call it At School Suspension because that would spell a bad word.

Because she always came to school with a bear midriff.

Less than 5 minutes later my son handed the essay in to the bemused teacher, and left detention.

The essay simply said:

“rain stopped play”

They wouldn't beehive...

it just doesn’t add up

Everyone butter was on time to class.

A small medium at large

Because it was very Mean Data!

The kids were having grapes for a snack. Several kids were complaining about the grapes. I told them "stop being ungrapeful and eat them, then you'll be grapeful." Right after I left for break and told them to "have a grape time". I'm proud and disappointed at the same time.

The teacher woke him up, but he has detention now.

EDIT: *kid napping

They say he got detention for it

If you have any ideas about puns involving the terms immigration attorney, immigration and customs enforcement/ICE, and puns about immigration detention that would be amazing.

You guys are immigreat, thanks so much!

He wemt to his mum, who was doing work, and asked, "mum, whats the first letter of the alphabet?"

Mum: Shut up and go away!

Kid goes to his dad, who just got a perfect score in darts, and says: Dad, whats the second letter of the alphabet?

Dad: 180!!

Walks to older brother who was playing batman video games: whats the third letter of the alphabet?

Brother: na na na na na na na na BATMAN!

Walks up to younger brother playing with toys: whats the 4th letter of the alphabet?

Brother: driving my little red car.

Kid rolls up to school, ready to recite the first 4 letters of the alphabet.

Teacher: whats the first letter?

Kid: Shut up and go away!!

Teacher: HOW MANY HOURS OF DETENTION DO YOU WANT

Kid: 180!!

Teacher: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

Kid: na na na na na na na na BATMAN

Teacher: HOW DO YKU THINK YOULL GET AWAY WITH THIS?!?

Kid: Driving my little red car

You just want detention.

He played lead guitar. He said "we weren't very good...however one time we played at a juvenile detention center and we had a captive audience".