I was at a hotel and asked the front desk to switch my pillow out with one filled with feathers...

...It was a down grade.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RivetJoint08
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
People ask me why the notepad on my desk never moves

I tell them it’s stationary

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xtaldad
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
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I've put a wooden desk and a blackboard up in my bedroom.

To make it more classy.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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My cell signal always drops when I work the front desk at work and I can't get calls.

Bad reception.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/melmia88
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
"Oh my gosh there's a mouse on your desk!"

"I know! And it's not working!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The-Judge1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
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There are rumors that Tesla is considering on a stretched, three row version of their Model X SUV. The project is on Musk's desk waiting for a decision on whether to go forward.

Their next car is Elon gated.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arrenlex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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My friend dumped a five hundred pound load of pig intestines on his boss's desk in protest...

That took a lot of guts!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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I got an anti-fatigue mat for my desk.

I couldn't stand to work without it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wizard7926
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
🚨︎ report
You see a desk, I see an opportunity v.redd.it/vznvn0uwajg41
πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tendu-or-do-not
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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A German friend of mine actually installed a bath around his desk !?..

Bad um tisch..

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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My new desk fan loves music.

Its a metal fan.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TDEvans21
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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I told my student to stop denting his pen by hitting his desk with it. β€œThat’s not allowed today,” I said:

β€œOnly on In De Pen Dents Day.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterBigDude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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I work in security, and i want to get a pumpkin for my desk

It shall be a security gourd

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brad_Barracuda
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Because each starts with an e and ends with an e.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/12mo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2020
🚨︎ report
During my trip to Madrid I was staying at this small motel when I grew pretty ill. Thankfully the people at the front desk sent the on call doctor over and he was able to fix me up real quick. I told him I didn't expect such a small place to have such a good doctor, to which he told me

Nobody expects the Spanish Inn Physician

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RKO-Cutter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
🚨︎ report
[Original] The doctor prescribed a man a standing desk for back pain.

He told the man to stand at least 3 hours a day, which should reduce the symptoms - and to come back in a month. A month passes and the doctor is seeing the man again. He asks if the symptoms have improved. The man says, β€œNo, but I’ve only been standing for one hour a day”. The doctor says he understood.

πŸ‘︎ 137
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tdrusk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I made a bicycle by folding up some paper in my desk drawer. It doesn't move though - it's a stationery bike.
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
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My fiance left this on my desk
πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2019
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I hate using a desk & a table at the same time in school.

Multiplication sucks.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshP99
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
A worker tells his boss about a great idea. The boss says "let me think about it" then pulls a bad 80's wig from his desk and puts it on. The worker asks "what's that for?"

The boss says "I need to mull-it over..."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nlwe_s
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I got a little chalkboard for my desk at work
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Halojin_No9
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
🚨︎ report
A student made our teacher so angry, they flipped their desk

Oh, the tables have turned

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AviTheBirb
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
🚨︎ report
My family and I walked into the lobby and as we were checking in, I whispered to the desk clerk, "I hope the porn is disabled."

The guy looked at me in shock and sputtered, "It's just regular porn, you sick perv!"

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend was talking about how he found a box of shotgun shells in his desk

I asked him if he could hear the ocean in them

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nessnesn64
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I didn't even look up from my desk.

Dropped this on a co-worker just now.

Them: ".. yeah and why do we even have to pay for air at the gas stations, we never used to."

Me: Well it's due to inflation.

I am confident I've seen this joke on reddit before, just happy I was able to execute it as good as possible. I got tingly when the conversation was heading this way and she dropped the perfect setup line. Grateful I've seen it before, pass it on and use it wisely.

πŸ‘︎ 803
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πŸ‘€︎ u/random_feedback
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2017
🚨︎ report
My coworker had a pile of timepieces on his desk.

All morning he was tying them together with a piece of string and then wrapping them around his midsection. At noon I figured he could use a break, so I invited him out for lunch, but he said, "No, thanks, I'm watching my waistline."

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/startrektoheck
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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I've always wondered why so much dandruff falls on my desk...

I still scratch my head over it.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zakisista
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Kermit the frog went to the bank to get a mortgage for a new lilypad. He walked up to the desk of loan officer Patricia Whack and placed a small porcelain statue of an angel on her desk asking if she would take it as collateral. "What is that?" she asked...

It's a knick knack, patty whack. Give a frog a loan?

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/curmudge_john
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2019
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What do you call a man that works for the police but also sits at a desk?

An office sir.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MEDOcapra
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
🚨︎ report
While checking in at the hotel: desk person asks if we have reservations, Dad says β€œwe did, but we came anyway”
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TreeBawb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I want that fable on my desk, AESOP!
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PanicAtTheMetro
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2018
🚨︎ report
Checking in at a hotel and the front desk agent tells me they don’t have a bell hop for the night.

I told her they should get the Nobel Prize.

She just stared at me blankly for 8 seconds until she said.... β€œcheck out is at 10”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jbmusic501
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My cat kept jumping on my desk while I was playing a game.

I had to put him down.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jinxykatte
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I bought a desk lamp for a dirt cheap price but it broke the day after. Went to the store to complain but I couldn’t get it fixed or refunded.

The store’s manager told me that I bought a one night stand.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DAY_DREAM3R
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
If you're cold at your desk...

Does that make you an ice cubicle?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kathri_Shiopan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I got a new adjustable standing desk

It’s brought my gaming to new heights

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/traun
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2018
🚨︎ report
A book fell on me while working at my desk

I've only my shelf to blame

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dimonium_anonimo
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
🚨︎ report
At work, I keep extra cough drops in my desk for anyone that needs it.

I guess I’m the halls monitor.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/I_love_liquor
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Someone in my office asked her boss if anyone else usually sits on the same desk

Her boss replied "yeah, we got a bit of a hotdesk arrangement"

I chimed in and said "Well if it's a hotdesk, you could always turn the fan on."

She was not impressed.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2018
🚨︎ report
Got my desk-mate today...

We moved desks on Monday and today I found a working highlighter which the previous occupant had left under mine. My colleague groaned when I told him it was 'the highlight of my day'.

πŸ‘︎ 328
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZeldaFan812
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2015
🚨︎ report
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.

I was charged with draft-dodging!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Help-desk guy speaking to a lady user …

Help-desk : double click on β€œMy Computer”. Lady : I can’t see your computer.. Help-desk : No .. Click on β€œMy Computer” on your computer. Lady : How the hell can I click on your computer from my computer ??? !! Help-desk : There is an icon labelled β€œMy Computer” on your computer .. double click on it. Lady : What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Teachdis
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Every day at work I write something silly on the dry erase paint 'whiteboard' by my desk and this is today's contribution. [x-post from r/funny]
πŸ‘︎ 140
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skinnymatters
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2012
🚨︎ report
A German man walks up to the immigration desk at Warsaw airport. The immigration officer asks: β€œOccupation?” The German replies:

β€œNo, just a holiday.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
🚨︎ report
One of my coworkers stopped by my desk.

He said, 'The boss wants you.'

I said, 'I'm flattered, but I'm straight.'

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
🚨︎ report
I have a spare set of contacts in my office desk drawer

When my boss asked for my emergency contacts, I told him to open my drawer.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caa3098
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2018
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign in a shop that said: "Information desk". So I walked over to it.

"Dear desk," I said, putting my ear to the wood. "Where can I find your televisions?"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
🚨︎ report

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