I want to start a gas company that deals exclusively in fuel derived from dog fossils. Itβs going to be called Paw Petrol.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 13 2020
These movies are so derivative.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Apr 21 2020
Iβve been solving derivatives everyday, for a week and I havenβt been able to do more than 20 a day.
I guess thatβs my limit.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 15 2020
I paid five cents for a dad joke, but it turned out to be an empty, derivative imitation, overly commercialized and lacking any real soul or talent.
Now I want my Nickelback.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Mar 27 2020
What's the third derivative of a cow?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 24 2020
I failed my Calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins.
It was hard to differentiate between them.
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Mar 21 2020
Calculus Teacher: Itβs not the Uncle Derivative.
Itβs the Auntie Derivative.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 22 2019
As I was walking down the street, an old man came up to me and explained all the benefits of dining on meals with mint derived from sub-shrub herbs...
I thanked him for the sage advice but went on about my business.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 27 2019
You might think my calculus jokes are derivative, but theyβre an integral part of me.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Oct 13 2019
Why donβt calculus majors party?
Because they can not drink and derive
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 18 2020
This is little derivative
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 18 2018
My friend wanted to try pizza made with goat cheese instead of cow derived.
I didn't think it was a gouda idea.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 07 2019
A first attempt to make my posts less derivative
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 23 2018
What's the derivative of Amazon?
π︎ 193
π
︎ Jan 13 2018
Puns leave me numb. Mathematical puns leave me number.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Sep 02 2019
The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many'...
and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Sep 05 2018
Newton: I've discovered calculus(1664)
Leibneiz: I've discovered calculus(1670s)
Newton: Really? Seems derivative.
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 12 2020
Never drink and derive.
π︎ 35
π
︎ Apr 06 2017
There's a new rapper in my city, his name is dx.
I don't know man, seems to me like he's a little derivative.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Mar 22 2020
For years, scientists have been developing a new psychotropic drug derived from queen ant pheromones...
π︎ 18
π
︎ Mar 03 2017
Why can't math majors party?
Because they can't drink and derive
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 03 2020
We were learning Derivatives in Calculus, and my teacher said...
"Don't drink and Derive."
(Obviously not my OC.)
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 14 2017
Cowculus
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jul 01 2018
What do you call Ancient Egyptian males that worship the sun?
Ramen
(Joke derived from u/praetorsolaris)
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 09 2020
The word "politics" is derived from the word 'poly', meaning "many", and the word 'ticks', meaning "blood sucking parasites". (Larry Hardiman)
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 14 2014
When taking a calculus exam, make sure you donβt sit between identical twins.
Because itβs hard to differentiate between them.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Dec 27 2018
Math puns getting out of hand
π︎ 154
π
︎ Jul 13 2018
Why was the mathematician arrested after a night out?
He was caught drinking and deriving.
π︎ 561
π
︎ Dec 17 2016
First day of calculus summer session today...
(Right before I leave)
Mom:Be safe driving over there
Me: Ok, Mom
Dad: Be safe deriving over there
Me: Goddamnit
π︎ 225
π
︎ Jun 17 2014
Whatβs a mathematicianβs favourite sitcom?
π︎ 348
π
︎ Dec 12 2017
Hear about the mathematician who was arrested after consuming alcohol?
He was charged with drunk deriving.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 07 2018
A math teacher was almost late to his class.
He had to derive pretty fast.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 10 2018
What language does Jello speak?
π︎ 58
π
︎ Jan 08 2017
Practice safe calculations
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 24 2019
I should stop leaving my calculus book at the bar.
I've been told its wrong to drink and derive.
π︎ 52
π
︎ Jun 30 2013
What do mathematicians do in their cars?
π︎ 91
π
︎ Mar 06 2018
My friend will be a great dad
I'm an Asian and my friend and I have AP Calculus together and he sits right next to me. I had trouble with a derivative and our conversation went along the lines of:
me: I don't know how to do this derivative.
friend: Well you see, you're Asian so you're bad at deriving.
me: groan^1000 ^hot ^fiery ^suns
π︎ 97
π
︎ Nov 04 2014
They said Calculus would be integral to my education
but I found it a little derivative
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jun 26 2018
You know, why don't they enlist babies in the military?
I mean, there's a reason they called it the INFANTry.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 02 2017
A lot of my friends hate calculus.
But anti-derivatives are integral to our education.
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 05 2018
A mathematician is angry that I stole her joke
She said it was quite derivative
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 15 2018
My friend was talking about Indian food
And she goes: "Rice is an integral ingredient in Indian cuisine"
So I answered "You really wouldn't wanna derive from it then, eh?"
The glare she gave me afterwards was priceless :)
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 02 2015
I was considering going to see a movie about a mathematician...
But the reviews say that it's derivative.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 01 2017
Thesis Pun
When you're writing a college thesis paper, and you want to reference the two theses that you derived yours from, you put them in ... Parent-Theses.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 11 2014
There are a couple of points I'd like to add here
. . . . + . . . = . . . . . . .
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 18 2015
Why don't they serve beer at a party for mathematicians?
Because you can't drink and derive.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Oct 18 2016
I'm going to teach my baby advanced mathematics
So it can derive it's own formula
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 21 2016
Alcohol and math don't mix:
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 24 2015
My trigonometry teacher dad-joked me today.
Me: "Have you ever taught calculus?"
Him: "No, I haven't done calculus in 25 years."
Me: "Well do you know how to derive?"
Him: "Yeah but I don't like to drink and derive."
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 21 2014
What do you get when you take the derivative of Amazon?
π︎ 60
π
︎ Apr 27 2017
Calculus:
An integral part of mathematics
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 14 2016
Why don't mathematicians drink.
They can't drink and derive.
π︎ 97
π
︎ Jan 19 2017
Calculus...
It's an integral part of a mathematics education.
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 20 2013
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
