I want to start a gas company that deals exclusively in fuel derived from dog fossils. It’s going to be called Paw Petrol.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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These movies are so derivative.
πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Picker-Rick
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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I’ve been solving derivatives everyday, for a week and I haven’t been able to do more than 20 a day.

I guess that’s my limit.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vapingpigeon94
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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I paid five cents for a dad joke, but it turned out to be an empty, derivative imitation, overly commercialized and lacking any real soul or talent.

Now I want my Nickelback.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
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What's the third derivative of a cow?

Jerky

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/censored_count
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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I failed my Calculus exam because I was seated between two identical twins.

It was hard to differentiate between them.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
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Calculus Teacher: It’s not the Uncle Derivative.

It’s the Auntie Derivative.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpecOpsAlpha
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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As I was walking down the street, an old man came up to me and explained all the benefits of dining on meals with mint derived from sub-shrub herbs...

I thanked him for the sage advice but went on about my business.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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You might think my calculus jokes are derivative, but they’re an integral part of me.
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealRoybot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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Why don’t calculus majors party?

Because they can not drink and derive

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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This is little derivative

^^^dy/dx

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/djeclipz
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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My friend wanted to try pizza made with goat cheese instead of cow derived.

I didn't think it was a gouda idea.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Matty_EINZ
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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A first attempt to make my posts less derivative
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JukeboxSommelier
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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What's the derivative of Amazon?

Amazon Prime

πŸ‘︎ 193
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryzikx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2018
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Puns leave me numb. Mathematical puns leave me number.
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xjohnnyxleex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many'...

and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fatandsalt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2018
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Newton: I've discovered calculus(1664)

Leibneiz: I've discovered calculus(1670s) Newton: Really? Seems derivative.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
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Never drink and derive.
πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RabbitGuySentMe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2017
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There's a new rapper in my city, his name is dx.

I don't know man, seems to me like he's a little derivative.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/99-bottlesofbeer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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For years, scientists have been developing a new psychotropic drug derived from queen ant pheromones...

They call it antacid.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/derivedintegral
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2017
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Why can't math majors party?

Because they can't drink and derive

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WhichDesigner
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
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We were learning Derivatives in Calculus, and my teacher said...

"Don't drink and Derive."

(Obviously not my OC.)

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Squeek99
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2017
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Cowculus
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
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What do you call Ancient Egyptian males that worship the sun?

Ramen

(Joke derived from u/praetorsolaris)

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TROLLDLLR
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
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The word "politics" is derived from the word 'poly', meaning "many", and the word 'ticks', meaning "blood sucking parasites". (Larry Hardiman)
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kosmozoan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2014
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When taking a calculus exam, make sure you don’t sit between identical twins.

Because it’s hard to differentiate between them.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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Math puns getting out of hand
πŸ‘︎ 154
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Wheat_Thins
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2018
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Why was the mathematician arrested after a night out?

He was caught drinking and deriving.

πŸ‘︎ 561
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flobadoba33
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2016
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First day of calculus summer session today...

(Right before I leave)

Mom:Be safe driving over there

Me: Ok, Mom

Dad: Be safe deriving over there

Me: Goddamnit

πŸ‘︎ 225
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wiebs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2014
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What’s a mathematician’s favourite sitcom?

Sinefeld

πŸ‘︎ 348
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeadlyLollipop
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
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Hear about the mathematician who was arrested after consuming alcohol?

He was charged with drunk deriving.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2018
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A math teacher was almost late to his class.

He had to derive pretty fast.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImmenseFun
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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What language does Jello speak?

Gelatin

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dovahquinoa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2017
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Practice safe calculations

Don't drink and derive

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RustyWood86
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2019
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I should stop leaving my calculus book at the bar.

I've been told its wrong to drink and derive.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ghettoshen
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2013
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What do mathematicians do in their cars?

They DERIVE

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Alvbatross
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2018
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My friend will be a great dad

I'm an Asian and my friend and I have AP Calculus together and he sits right next to me. I had trouble with a derivative and our conversation went along the lines of:
me: I don't know how to do this derivative.
friend: Well you see, you're Asian so you're bad at deriving.
me: groan^1000 ^hot ^fiery ^suns

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yellananner
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2014
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They said Calculus would be integral to my education

but I found it a little derivative

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hippokuda
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
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You know, why don't they enlist babies in the military?

I mean, there's a reason they called it the INFANTry.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cryptolites
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2017
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A lot of my friends hate calculus.

But anti-derivatives are integral to our education.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ravenwarrior131
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
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A mathematician is angry that I stole her joke

She said it was quite derivative

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TatsumakiRonyk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2018
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My friend was talking about Indian food

And she goes: "Rice is an integral ingredient in Indian cuisine"

So I answered "You really wouldn't wanna derive from it then, eh?"

The glare she gave me afterwards was priceless :)

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Saphira294
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2015
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I was considering going to see a movie about a mathematician...

But the reviews say that it's derivative.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/derivedintegral
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2017
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Thesis Pun

When you're writing a college thesis paper, and you want to reference the two theses that you derived yours from, you put them in ... Parent-Theses.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mannymcdude
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2014
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There are a couple of points I'd like to add here

. . . . + . . . = . . . . . . .

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sal6a
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2015
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Why don't they serve beer at a party for mathematicians?

Because you can't drink and derive.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justrex11
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2016
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I'm going to teach my baby advanced mathematics

So it can derive it's own formula

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2016
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Alcohol and math don't mix:

Don't drink and derive.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tasty_D0nuts
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2015
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My trigonometry teacher dad-joked me today.

Me: "Have you ever taught calculus?" Him: "No, I haven't done calculus in 25 years." Me: "Well do you know how to derive?" Him: "Yeah but I don't like to drink and derive."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AKPYTHON
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2014
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What do you get when you take the derivative of Amazon?

Amazon prime

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daddykinz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2017
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Calculus:

An integral part of mathematics

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/besalim
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2016
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Why don't mathematicians drink.

They can't drink and derive.

πŸ‘︎ 97
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πŸ‘€︎ u/casd82
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2017
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Calculus...

It's an integral part of a mathematics education.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ares2596
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2013
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