I think sex education is a great idea in schools.
I just don't think the kids should be given homework.
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︎ Mar 11 2021
What are the last words of the physical education teacher?
π︎ 6
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︎ Feb 19 2021
What do you call a well educated Englishman napping?
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 27 2020
Where do crows go to get educated?
π︎ 25
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︎ Oct 31 2020
What do you call a teenager who never grows up?
π︎ 280
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︎ Jan 29 2021
[need for help] Pun experts, share the best pun you know about academia/professors/education/writing for grants. Any help deeply appreciated!
EDIT: We plan to place it on the mug as a gift, so it should be relatively short
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︎ Sep 19 2020
Chinese are building all sorts of new educational camps with invigorating physical exercise for Uigher citizens.
It's all fun and games until someone loses an ideology.
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︎ Sep 27 2020
Do I think education is getting too expensive?
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︎ Sep 16 2020
The quality of education is so poor today that some people don't even know the difference between a checklist and a ticklist!
Checklist: a tool for ensuring coverage of a subject can be completed with a check mark of some form, for instance, a cross, a tick, etc.
Ticklist: someone who is tickling you.
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︎ Jul 03 2020
My teenage daughter came home from school and she was blazing mad. βWe had sex education today, dad and you lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!β I put down my newspaper, looked at her and saidβ¦
βOh, he will, sweetheart, he will.β
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Mar 10 2018
Request: Education Apocalypse puns
For a teacher who keeps working in the end times.
i'll put mine in the comments so people can tell me which are bad :p
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︎ Mar 26 2020
NASCAR bans the confederate flag?
Finally a turn in the right direction.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Jun 11 2020
The members of Al-Qaeda aren't educated folks
But are experts in Crash Courses
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︎ May 26 2020
What do you call an educated therapy dog?
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︎ Dec 03 2019
My under-educated son is working for a very low-paying job
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︎ Apr 21 2020
They give an asstounding education
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︎ Dec 21 2019
If you commit 90 sins, you will get caught about half the time.
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Feb 25 2020
My friend told me, βYou have a B.A., Masterβs, and a Ph.D., but you still act like a moron.β
It was a third degree burn.
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︎ Aug 14 2020
Did you notice that people started taking the looters & rioters seriously once New York was hit?
Probably because everyone knows where the Big Apple is, but not where the Minneapolis.
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π
︎ Jun 01 2020
Educated people are hot
Because the have got more degrees !
( Read this one in an old book ! )
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︎ Jan 02 2019
My son is going to college in a town in Iowa...
He Ames to get a good education.
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︎ Dec 29 2020
It was really educational..
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Oct 18 2017
Whats an intelligent visitor with a typo?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Dec 16 2020
What do you call a boat with an education?
π︎ 19
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︎ Dec 07 2018
What did Kim Jong Un say on his death bed?
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︎ Apr 22 2020
I believe it is absolutely nessesery to teach our childer calculus.
It's an integral part of education.
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︎ Oct 26 2020
Farmer for life.
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︎ Jun 07 2020
I had abstinence only sex education when I was in high school.
It was called Dungeons and Dragons.
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︎ Aug 11 2018
What do you call an educator under the influence?
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jul 11 2016
Due to cuts in the education budget, they've decided to simplify the alphabet, reducing it to just two vowels and one consonant...
...but don't worry, everything's going to be A-OK!
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︎ Jun 27 2019
My son's teacher said I'm educating my son well, and to continue to do what i was doing at home...
Guess I wont stop beating him then...
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︎ Dec 19 2018
I hope that one day Al Gore comes out with an educational rap album called, "Algorithms."
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︎ Aug 28 2016
What do you call an educated ox without an education?
π︎ 23
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︎ Jun 21 2017
I majored in English. My education was lit.
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︎ Aug 10 2018
Puns for Educated Minds
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The fattest knight at King Arthurs round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
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I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
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She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
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A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
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No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
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A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
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A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
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Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: You stay here; I'll go on a head.
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I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
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A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: Keep off the Grass.
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The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
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The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
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A backward poet writes inverse.
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In a democracy itβs your vote that counts. In feudalism itβs your count that votes.
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When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
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If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
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A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, Iβm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.
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Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says Dam!
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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you canβt have your kayak and heat it too.
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Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, Iβve lost my electron. The other says Are you sure? The first replies, Yes, Iβm positive.
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Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
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There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
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︎ Jun 26 2015
Macadamia nuts are the most highly educated of the of all nuts
π︎ 13
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︎ Jan 11 2019
It's not easy educating kids in the capital of Connecticut.
I've got it bad, got it bad, got it bad; I'm a Hartford teacher.
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︎ Apr 03 2019
What does an educated owl say?
π︎ 20
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︎ Jan 05 2019
I tried explaining to my grandpa that I would be having school online.
He replied confused and worried, "How does that work? Your education is on the line!"
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︎ Oct 19 2020
They said Calculus would be integral to my education
but I found it a little derivative
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︎ Jun 26 2018
I was homeschooled my whole life, but still ended up being very educated.
I even graduated at the top of my class.
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︎ Jan 12 2019
Magnet schools are an attractive educational option.
π︎ 12
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︎ Dec 08 2018
If a non-college teacher has sexual relations with a student, then they pursued a minor in education.
π︎ 8
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︎ Apr 21 2018
My teenage daughter came home from school and she was blazing mad. βWe had sex education today dad and you lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my sixteenth birthday, my boyfriend will die!β I put down my newspaper, looked at her and saidβ¦
βOh, he will, sweetheart, he will.β
π︎ 210
π
︎ Jun 05 2019
Educated people are hot
because they've got more degrees
π︎ 137
π
︎ Jul 17 2019
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