“Give it to me straight, doc.”
I told him I’d prefer her liver remain in tact
We met with the surgeon right before she went back to the operating room and I told him “I really hope you De-Liver”
True story! (yes he thought I was stupid 😂)
Deliver
He ran out of Times
They said only mails work here.
It's because they do it door-tudor
ABSENTEE A missing golfing accessory
AUTOBIOGRAPHY The car’s logbook
AVOIDABLE What a bullfighter tries to do
BERNADETTE The act of torching a mortgage
BOOKCASE Litigation about a novel
BURGLARISE What a crook sees with
CABBAGE The fare you pay to a taxi driver
CAUTERISE Made eye contact with her
COUNTERFEITERS Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
DILATE To live long
ECLIPSE What an English barber does for a living
EYEDROPPER A clumsy ophthalmologist
GRANARY Home for old women
HEROES A guy manning the oars in a boat
HUMBUG Singing insect
LEFT BANK What the robber did when his bag was full of money
MISTY How golfers create divots
NONDESCRIPT Italian actors ad-libbing
NITRATES Cheaper then day rates
PARADOX Two physicians
PARASITES What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower
PHARMACIST A helper on the farm
POLARISE What penguins see with
POST OPERATIVE A letter deliverer
PRIMATE Removing your spouse from in front of the TV
RECOVERY ROOM A place to do upholstery
RELIEF What trees do in the spring
RUBBERNECK What you do to relax your wife
TERMINAL ILLNESS Getting sick at the airport
SELFISH What the owner of a seafood store does
URINE Or you’re out
is that a romantic jester?
I looked at it and thought, “This isn’t for me.”
I'll tell you tomorrow.
.. He told me the only joke he has to post is a picture of me .__. thanks pap
I work in a hotel reception. A couple with a baby came in and walked up to my desk.
> Dad: "Do you have anywhere we could change our baby?"
> Me: "I'm sorry sir, we don't swap them out without a receipt."
Dad: "Hey I heard UPS and UFC were going to make a deal and let some UPS workers fight soon."
Me: "Uhhh... what? That makes no sense."
Dad: "No it does. I mean... the UPS guys are already professional boxers. It's only logical."
DELIVERANCE
