My coworker was trying to reorganize his filling cabinet and got stuck when he discovered a bunch of documents about Italian dictators.
I told him to file them as Mussollaneous.
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︎ Nov 28 2020
A guy offered to document my life in Microsoft Excel, but I said no.
I donβt want him to spreadsheet about me.
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︎ Sep 04 2020
According to official NASA documents they have Aliens on the ISS.
They also have Alien, Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection - all on DVD.
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︎ Sep 02 2020
What are two documents that don't make sense?
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︎ Jul 05 2020
My doctor forgot to document my blood type.
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︎ Jul 11 2020
How does a lumberjack sign his documents?
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︎ Jul 16 2020
What do you call someone who burns all their loan documents?
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︎ Apr 24 2020
Whatβs the saying for when your protein powder gets spilled on your legal documents which divide all of your property after death?
Where thereβs a will, thereβs a whey.
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︎ Jun 08 2020
I got sick whilst scanning documents to .pdf ....
The doctor said it's because I'm an anti-faxxer.
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︎ May 12 2020
Why can't you email a document to a Jedi?
Because attachments are forbidden.
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︎ Sep 05 2019
Yo, homie. You know of any good computer programs for typing up documents?
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︎ Mar 14 2020
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
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︎ Nov 26 2019
What do you call a document filled with child predators?
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︎ Nov 20 2019
Where does a farmer document the milk production of his cows?
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 11 2019
Why should you never trust an Excel document?
Because they spread sheet
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︎ Aug 26 2019
My girlfriend asked me how to convert a document to PDF...
But Iβve never heard of that religion before.
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︎ Sep 25 2019
I asked the surfer dude if he had a document laying out the things to do in his beautiful city. He said:
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 10 2019
True story: I wanted to print a dozen copies of a document, but selected 'Number of Copies: 12' on both MS Word and the printer itself, just to be sure. Turns out, it treated that as 12 times 12 copies.
I soon discovered that I had made a gross error of judgment.
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 11 2019
I need a special pair of spectacles to read legal documents...
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︎ Nov 09 2018
I would consider myself a pretty rad dad, so here you go: "Why wasn't the document allowed at the children's party?"
"Why wasn't the document allowed at the children's party?"
Because he was a PDF File!
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︎ Jan 21 2014
Have you heard about the homicidal maniac who papercuts people to death with terms and conditions documents?
Heβs a contract killer.
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︎ Nov 09 2018
I have a friend who works turning Arabic documents into English
Everytime I try to talk to him he's lost in translation.
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 29 2019
I melted in the 103 degree Dallas heat just to document this pun - I hope it was worth it.....
imgur.com/lRgYEuB
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︎ Jun 26 2015
Why does the cat spew out documents?
Because he thinks heβs a prr-inter.
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︎ Feb 02 2019
What does the pope use to hold documents together?
π︎ 10
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︎ Jun 05 2018
Bill and his friend Dave both needed to get some legal documents notarized
Bill and his friend Dave both needed to get some legal documents notarized, so they went to the notary together. Bill asked the notary if he could go first because Dave had quite a few items and Bill had one. The notary said, βSorry. You sign affidavit.β
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︎ Sep 09 2018
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︎ Jul 14 2017
Today, I challenged my colleague to a document typing contest.
Now it is his Word against mine.
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︎ Jan 15 2018
I took some personal documents I had to the gym today
So they could get shredded
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︎ Jan 11 2018
Why can't Dalai Lama receive any documents by email?
Because you can't send Dalai Lama an email with attachments
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 19 2017
My boss asked me to skim through a document
So today at work, my boss asked us to skim through a document regarding a new/old procedure. When she finished I ask if I could almond milk it since I don't drink dairy.
They actually laughed.
I don't know if I should feel proud or embarrassed for them that they thought it was actually funny.
Maybe a bit of a and b.
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︎ May 23 2017
Dad joked by a word document
So I'm working a summer desk job where one of my duties is to print and cut out stencils to use in labeling materials. I open up the stencils file so I can use an existing document and make sure I get the formatting right.
I was going to pick the first one when one near the bottom stood out. The document was named "Walrus". None of what the business does deals with aquatic life. All the other things are named after what they are, such as "Sheets" "Towels" etc. So, for curiosity's sake, I had to open the document--
And the stencil said "5-Foot Seal". I groaned at my desk.
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︎ Aug 20 2014
Why do Buddhist monks never send you Word documents through email?
Because they're not supposed to have any attachments!
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︎ Dec 17 2013
A guy offered to document my life in Microsoft Excel, but I said no.
I donβt want him to spreadsheet about me.
π︎ 36
π
︎ Feb 01 2020
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