What kind of self-defense does a Jewish Trump supporter practice?
Mantra of the Kansas City Chiefs' defensive line
The Bucs Stop Here!
Edit: thank you for alerting me it's "bucs" not "bucks". My dad experience (4 months) is better than my football knowledge
In my defense, I have none
A burglar broke into my house and I pushed my bookcase on top of him.
Why won't the bird defense attorney speak to more than one crow at a time?
Because anything more than one is murder.
I thought the defense would like my joke about the quarterback
I guess it was too offensive
My sister is a really good defensive driver
Anytime someone looks at her she starts justifying her actions
My therapist told me to write letters to people I hated and then burn them.
I've done that, but what do I do with the letter.
Why did the Secretary of Defense and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff cross the road?
They were just following the chicken!
My wife says I’m getting fat, but in my defense....
I’ve had a lot on my plate recently
The corona virus just learned self defense.
They were taught Kung Flu.
What's the difference between karate and judo?
Karate is a method of self defense, while judo is what bagels are made from.
Rudy Gobert should win the NBA Defensive player of the year award...
He shut the whole league down this year!
What did the man say to the judge after running over chickens at a playground?
“In my defense, Your Honor, there were no signs of fowl play”
Why do teams with the strongest defense do better in bed?
Convict: I plead not guilty Judge: What is your defense
Convict: Well if u r what you eat, I'm an innocent man.
(Credit to my man Bryce)
People keep telling me to stop putting up walls
Why do snails take self defense classes.
So they don't get assaulted.
The instructor in my self defense class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.
Personally, I think it’s nuts
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
Why did they add 2 more layers of defense to Fort 43?
If someone writes a biography about American Defense Secretary Jim Mattis they should call it...
One time my cat chased down a drone and brought it to me. The drone's owner accused me of theft. In my defense, I said it wasn't stolen...
I’ve just completed a self defense course…
I wouldn’t recommend anyone attack me in slow motion now…
If someone has already submitted a joke about defensive swordsmanship...
...sorry for the riposte.
Did you hear what happened to that Department of Defense employee?
What was the photographer's defense in court?
What do you call a painter who practices self defense?
You tell a player that he is not good at defense.
Dad-jokes for self-defense (crossposted from /r/funny)
https://i.redd.it/4nxahotzfku11.jpg
As mentioned on /r/funny, it's a shame we don't know the actual joke used here.
What did the lawyer say in the mesothelioma case say in defense of his client?
He was just doing asbestos he could!
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered 6 offender
The Jewish nation that replaced palestine is defensive about its existance.
I angered the Scottish guy by making fun of his skirt...
He nearly kilt me. I poked him in the aye in defense.
Found Out Donald Trump's Favorite Form of Self Defense
What does a Jewish baker use for self defense?
I was attacked by a vegan vampire!
In self defense, I put a steak through his heart
I hear Denver's Defensive Coordinator is dyne to change his name...
to Pascal. He hopes to contain Cam Newton to a one meter square area.
Did you hear about that new self defense bread?
I love building canadian defensive structures
I guess you can say it's my fort eh?
What did Daddy Skunk say to his children at the start of their self defense class?
I bet the Department of Defense gives the low-quality rations to submarines.
After all, they're sub-optimal.
I had an argument with my wife in a lift the other day...
I was wrong on so many levels
My son has recently decided to become a defense attorney
I guess you could say he's my son in law...
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