Look at defense!
π︎ 20
π
︎ Apr 16 2021
What kind of self-defense does a Jewish Trump supporter practice?
π︎ 126
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︎ Jan 05 2021
Mantra of the Kansas City Chiefs' defensive line
The Bucs Stop Here!
Edit: thank you for alerting me it's "bucs" not "bucks". My dad experience (4 months) is better than my football knowledge
π︎ 3
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︎ Feb 08 2021
In my defense, I have none
π︎ 18
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︎ Nov 18 2020
A burglar broke into my house and I pushed my bookcase on top of him.
π︎ 3k
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Why won't the bird defense attorney speak to more than one crow at a time?
Because anything more than one is murder.
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 11 2020
I used to be the soccer team's striker until my coach realized I wasn't playing well. He said....
You should play defense, no offense.
π︎ 6
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︎ Mar 24 2021
I thought the defense would like my joke about the quarterback
I guess it was too offensive
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 04 2020
My sister is a really good defensive driver
Anytime someone looks at her she starts justifying her actions
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 03 2020
My wife says Iβm getting fat, but in my defense....
Iβve had a lot on my plate recently
π︎ 47
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︎ Mar 09 2020
Why did the Secretary of Defense and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff cross the road?
They were just following the chicken!
π︎ 6
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︎ Jun 11 2020
My therapist told me to write letters to people I hated and then burn them.
I've done that, but what do I do with the letter.
π︎ 337
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︎ Nov 15 2020
The corona virus just learned self defense.
They were taught Kung Flu.
π︎ 9
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︎ Jan 31 2020
Rudy Gobert should win the NBA Defensive player of the year award...
He shut the whole league down this year!
π︎ 2
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︎ Mar 23 2020
Convict: I plead not guilty Judge: What is your defense
Convict: Well if u r what you eat, I'm an innocent man.
(Credit to my man Bryce)
π︎ 21
π
︎ Dec 11 2019
Why do teams with the strongest defense do better in bed?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 23 2020
Why do snails take self defense classes.
So they don't get assaulted.
π︎ 14
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︎ Oct 15 2019
What's the difference between karate and judo?
Karate is a method of self defense, while judo is what bagels are made from.
π︎ 10
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︎ Dec 01 2020
The instructor in my self defense class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.
Personally, I think itβs nuts
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 21 2019
What is a defensive football players favorite dessert?
π︎ 9
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︎ Aug 12 2019
Why did they add 2 more layers of defense to Fort 43?
π︎ 6
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︎ Mar 14 2019
What did the man say to the judge after running over chickens at a playground?
βIn my defense, Your Honor, there were no signs of fowl playβ
π︎ 11
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︎ Dec 07 2020
If someone writes a biography about American Defense Secretary Jim Mattis they should call it...
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 18 2019
Iβve just completed a self defense courseβ¦
I wouldnβt recommend anyone attack me in slow motion nowβ¦
π︎ 253
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︎ Aug 23 2017
One time my cat chased down a drone and brought it to me. The drone's owner accused me of theft. In my defense, I said it wasn't stolen...
π︎ 36
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︎ Dec 29 2018
People keep telling me to stop putting up walls
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 24 2020
Did you hear what happened to that Department of Defense employee?
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 30 2019
If someone has already submitted a joke about defensive swordsmanship...
...sorry for the riposte.
π︎ 15
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︎ Apr 19 2019
What was the photographer's defense in court?
π︎ 9
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︎ Oct 03 2018
What do you call a painter who practices self defense?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 31 2019
You tell a player that he is not good at defense.
π︎ 11
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︎ Dec 11 2018
Dad-jokes for self-defense (crossposted from /r/funny)
https://i.redd.it/4nxahotzfku11.jpg
As mentioned on /r/funny, it's a shame we don't know the actual joke used here.
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 26 2018
What did the lawyer say in the mesothelioma case say in defense of his client?
He was just doing asbestos he could!
π︎ 5
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︎ Aug 26 2018
The Jewish nation that replaced palestine is defensive about its existance.
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 11 2016
π︎ 11
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︎ Dec 19 2016
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 was a registered 6 offender
π︎ 334
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︎ Oct 31 2019
What does a Jewish baker use for self defense?
π︎ 13
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︎ Jan 21 2017
Found Out Donald Trump's Favorite Form of Self Defense
π︎ 19
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︎ Sep 29 2017
I hear Denver's Defensive Coordinator is dyne to change his name...
to Pascal. He hopes to contain Cam Newton to a one meter square area.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 26 2016
I angered the Scottish guy by making fun of his skirt...
He nearly kilt me. I poked him in the aye in defense.
π︎ 37
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︎ May 15 2020
π︎ 6
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︎ Jul 23 2015
Did you hear about that new self defense bread?
π︎ 11
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︎ Oct 19 2013
What is the new Canadian Defense Minister's Plan of Attack?
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 05 2015
I love building canadian defensive structures
I guess you can say it's my fort eh?
π︎ 11
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︎ Nov 09 2016
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