What kind of self-defense does a Jewish Trump supporter practice?
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︎ Jan 05 2021
In my defense, I have none
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︎ Nov 18 2020
Why won't the bird defense attorney speak to more than one crow at a time?
Because anything more than one is murder.
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︎ Oct 11 2020
I thought the defense would like my joke about the quarterback
I guess it was too offensive
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︎ Sep 04 2020
My wife says Iβm getting fat, but in my defense....
Iβve had a lot on my plate recently
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︎ Mar 09 2020
Why did the Secretary of Defense and the Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff cross the road?
They were just following the chicken!
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︎ Jun 11 2020
The corona virus just learned self defense.
They were taught Kung Flu.
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︎ Jan 31 2020
Why do teams with the strongest defense do better in bed?
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︎ Feb 23 2020
Convict: I plead not guilty Judge: What is your defense
Convict: Well if u r what you eat, I'm an innocent man.
(Credit to my man Bryce)
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︎ Dec 11 2019
Why do snails take self defense classes.
So they don't get assaulted.
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︎ Oct 15 2019
The instructor in my self defense class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.
Personally, I think itβs nuts
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︎ Sep 21 2019
Why did they add 2 more layers of defense to Fort 43?
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︎ Mar 14 2019
If someone writes a biography about American Defense Secretary Jim Mattis they should call it...
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︎ Jan 18 2019
One time my cat chased down a drone and brought it to me. The drone's owner accused me of theft. In my defense, I said it wasn't stolen...
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︎ Dec 29 2018
Iβve just completed a self defense courseβ¦
I wouldnβt recommend anyone attack me in slow motion nowβ¦
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︎ Aug 23 2017
Did you hear what happened to that Department of Defense employee?
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︎ Jan 30 2019
What was the photographer's defense in court?
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︎ Oct 03 2018
What do you call a painter who practices self defense?
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︎ Jan 31 2019
You tell a player that he is not good at defense.
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︎ Dec 11 2018
Dad-jokes for self-defense (crossposted from /r/funny)
https://i.redd.it/4nxahotzfku11.jpg
As mentioned on /r/funny, it's a shame we don't know the actual joke used here.
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︎ Oct 26 2018
What did the lawyer say in the mesothelioma case say in defense of his client?
He was just doing asbestos he could!
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︎ Aug 26 2018
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︎ Dec 19 2016
What does a Jewish baker use for self defense?
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︎ Jan 21 2017
Found Out Donald Trump's Favorite Form of Self Defense
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︎ Sep 29 2017
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︎ Jul 23 2015
Did you hear about that new self defense bread?
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︎ Oct 19 2013
What is the new Canadian Defense Minister's Plan of Attack?
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︎ Nov 05 2015
What did Daddy Skunk say to his children at the start of their self defense class?
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︎ Jul 25 2017
I bet the Department of Defense gives the low-quality rations to submarines.
After all, they're sub-optimal.
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︎ Mar 30 2017
My son has recently decided to become a defense attorney
I guess you could say he's my son in law...
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︎ Apr 19 2015
Self defense
If I were to easily kill a fellow with a drinking tube.
My self defense plea would be a straw man argument.
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︎ May 17 2015
I asked my dad why he always says I need to work on my defense when I play basketball alone.
Cause the ball keeps going over de'fence'
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︎ Jun 01 2014
In his defense, it IS more accurate
My dad is convinced that he coined the term "SQTM" online, meaning "smiling quietly to myself," in lieu of the often-hyperbolized "LOL." And tries to implement it frequently.
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︎ Dec 13 2013
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