Crap Game Puns

Dear son,

Merry Christmas!

PS: do your homework.

PPS: do your chores.

PPPS: go outside and play and stop playing video games

PPPPS: you're a fatboy, fattie. You eat too much crap food.

PPPPPS: we're shipping you off to military school next year!

My older brother texts my Dad and me today and says, "Let's go to Vegas tonight." Never one to be interested in gambling, my Dad suggests going to one of the nearby Indian Reservation casinos. The problem is, the local casinos have only card games - so my brother responds with, "Nah, no craps."

My Dad's response, "Then just take one before you go."

I chortled.

At my brothers hockey game with my Uncle, father of 2, who we are describing the players to.

"Then those two! They are twins, they're 12 and 18" - me

"Holy crap! I though my daughters had a long labor. That must be a record!" - Uncle

Collective sigh from people who weren't even involved in the conversation. Success.

So we were playing Craps in Vegas and my buddy kept betting on 8 and kept winning. I looked over at him and said,

"Looks like somebody is on their eight game tonight!!"

As usual, I was the only one chuckling.