Newton’s cradle! (Credit to thejenkinscomic on Instagram)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kannathelegend
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2020
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Pun contest. Name our bands next "tour". Get it printed on shirts. Win imaginary gold.

Backstory: I play in a small band that does a "tour" of southern Wisconsin every year. The bands name is the Petty Thieves. This is my first year with them, but every year they come up with a tour name and make nice t-shirts and material with the tour name on them. Last two tour names were "Sticky Fingers" and "Busted!" We are looking for something related to the band name. Something clever and crime related. If it has mild sexual innuendo, all the better, but not overtly obscene. Some tour names we came up with are: Five Finger Discount, Backdoor Tour, Snatching Kisses, Kissing Snatches, Robbing the Cradle, Something something Miss Demeanors, Spread 'em, Felonious Funk, Unlawful Entry, Rhymes against Humanity, etc...

If you have anything punny, please throw it out there. Top 3 upvoted names get reddit gold. If we use your tour name, I'l send you the tshirt. Thanks kind sirs!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dharmon555
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2013
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I was giving my newborn a bath...

So the bub was in the tub and I was giving his scalp a scrub.

Our baby doesn't care too much for people rubbing his scalp so I start singing "No, I don't want no scrub."

My wife walks in and asks me if I am having any luck with clearing up his cradle cap.

"Well honey, things have been going a lot better since I tried a little bit of TLC. "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adomental
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2014
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