It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. /r/Jokes/comments/m21qy0/…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueGI55
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
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It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys. Girls develop boobies around the age of thirteen...

...and boys develop them around the age of forty…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Scientists have proven that diarrhea is hereditary

Yep. They've found that it runs in your jeans.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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TIL that scientists have proven people tend to be more prideful in during summertime...

...because pride cometh before the fall.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fritz_the_Cat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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It is scientifically proven that eating cookies reduces the chance of you getting a stroke.

Mostly golf strokes, swimming strokes, tennis strokes etc.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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It’s official, scientists have proven that more birthday celebrations is officially linked to a longer life span
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rangent
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
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Dumbbell
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SnacksAttacked
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
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Scientists have proven that cats have more hair on one side. Which side is it?

The outside.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FrankDaTank787
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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Why are trains the best form of transportation?

Because they have a proven track record

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IzzetAGoblin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Do You know what they call alternative medicine that has been proven to work via research, experimentation, and double-blind clinical trials?

Regular medicine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeowMixSong
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2017
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Dad jokes proven to help with menstrual cramps

Me: My body is tearing itself apart.

My friend: Geez, don't overy-act.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ancientvoices
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2016
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Ever since it was proven the space travel was possible,

The soviets were Russian to get there

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2017
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Birthdays are good for your health

Studies have proven that people who have more of them live longer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCheshireCody
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2018
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Turquoise is the best color.

It's cyan-tifically proven.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Epochi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2016
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How would you know to trust a drug dealer?

Easy, one must have a proven crack record.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BasketFool
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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Turqoise is the best color in the world

It's cyantifically proven

It blue my mind

I'm quite purplexed

I red it on the internet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGamerBoy015
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2018
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At the zoo with wife and kids...

Me: You know, they say porcupines are one of the smartest animals on Earth.
Wife/kids: Oh yeah?
Me: Yeah, science has proven that they're pretty sharp.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skermy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2015
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Science Puns

One of the funniest school puns; science puns

Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium? It went OK. If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they’d be alloys.


The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty. The chemist sees the glass completely full, half with liquid and half with air.


If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.


A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He says, β€œNo, I’m traveling light.”


Did you just mutate for a stop codon? Because you’re talking nonsense!


How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.


What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics? Woopea!


Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He’s 0K now.


I wish I was adenine, then, I could get paired with U.


Anyone know any jokes about sodium? Na


Two chemists go into a bar. The first one says β€œI think I’ll have an H2O.” The second one says β€œI think I’ll have an H2O too” β€” and he died.


A couple of biologists had twins. They named one Jessica and the other Control.


Did you hear the one about the recycling triplets? Their names are Polly, Ethel, and Ian.


Why can you never trust atoms? They make up everything!


What element is a girl’s future best friend? Carbon.


I had to make these bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.


Why are chemists great for solving problems? They have all the solutions.


What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.


What did the male stamen say to the female pistil? I like your β€œstyle.”


I’m reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.


I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.


Why can’t atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don’t believe in higher powers.


Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar. And doesn’t.


Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.


What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!


A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies β€œFor you, no charge”.


Two atoms are walking along. One of them says: β€œOh, no, I think I lost an electron.” β€œAre you sure?”

β€œYe

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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What did the French Cream say to the Milk?

You're lait!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blind_3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2013
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Teal really is the best color.

It's cyan-tiffically proven.

I think I red that somewhere.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Azsunyx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2013
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Science and Music

Did you know that scientists have proven that Ray Charles's music is more emotionally stimulating than Stevie Wonder's? They conducted a double-blind study.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bundleofschtick
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2014
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Hit my family while watching jack the giant slayer...

While watching said movie; one of the little people actors popped up on screen spurring a mid movie discussion.

Mom : wasn't he from willow?

Dad: nawh I think he died a few years ago.

Mom: he died young I guess. He was what, 18 in willow?

Me: yeah it's scientifically proven that they live shorter lives.

Then my dad let out the proudest smile I ever saw

Clarification: they're all fine. Warwick davis is alive and well. He is now 44 years old. And I'm 24

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohcrayyy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2014
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Dadjoking Shorty (part 1)

A bit of backstory. I'm notorious among my circle of friends for telling "terrible puns/jokes" I think it's amazing, but I'd been rolling them out all day, patience for puns must've gotten shortened.

I'm talking with Shorty (named because she had short hair) and she was telling me about a book she had started.

Shorty "So the book's called 'Cutting for Stone' and it's like a doctor drama kinda thing, the only issue is that that it's super heavy on the medical terminology, so many bloody surgeries and procedures are listed, and I don't really know anything about that kids stuff. Like it's got an interesting plot but I don't know if I can't finish it, I'm not to sure I'm cut out for it"

At that last line I began laughing (her pun was unintentional) and compliment her on it "ha that was good. You're not 'cut out' for it"

Shorty "Oh god that was terrible just stop"

Me "You want me to 'cut' it out?"

Shorty "I'm going to kill you if you keep this up woman"

Me "You're gonna 'cut' me up?"

Shorty "Your jokes are terrible and it's proven that puns make people angry"

At this point I was just rolling in my chair laughing I really couldn't keep it together, possibly the best reply rolls through my head after this comment, I crack up, there I am choking out as tears come to my eyes. "Well it's a good thing it's not a PUNishable offense"

The girl next to me starts laughing as shorty yells at me how I can't just start crying at my own jokes.

TLDR; A witty banter of sharper than usual humor, as I walk a razor thin line of pissing off my friend and pissing myself with laughter.

I have many other stories so I titled this part one,if anybody likes my writing and jokes I'll share the rest!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bingo4913
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2014
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It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys…

Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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Turquoise is the best color in the world..

It’s been cyantifically proven

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TimHP
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2018
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