Courtesy of my wife: What does a mermaid wear math class?
An algae-bra.
*wear to math class
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︎ Nov 01 2021
Courtesy of my 6 year old son
How do you get a giraffe into a fridge?
(In 3 steps)
- Open the fridge
- Put the giraffe in the fridge
- Close the fridge
How do you get an elephant into a fridge?
(In 4 steps this time)
- Open the fridge
- Take the giraffe OUT!
- Put elephant in
- Close the fridge!
How do you get a lion to take an elevator?
... No steps this time, daddy, he took the elevator!
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︎ Oct 14 2021
Dad joke courtesy of a Guitar Center employee
I was playing this guitar at guitar center today. I started playing Here to Stay by Korn and an employee walks by and goes "dang, nobody has picked up that guitar in a while. I thought it was here to stay" and basically did the "did you get it" dad face. I laughed more than I should have.
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︎ Sep 22 2021
Courtesy of my son: Eeny meeny miny moe, catch a tiger by the toe. If he hollersβ¦
β¦apologize for grabbing him by the toe, because that was kinda rude, then ask if there is anything you can do to make it up to him so he doesnβt bite your face off because heβs a tiger.
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︎ Oct 24 2021
**Courtesy if my 1st grader** What kind of meals do math teachers eat?
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︎ Sep 03 2021
Courtesy of my 7 year old. What's a cat's favourite colour?
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︎ Jun 19 2021
What is an Air Fryer's favorite food? (Courtesy of my 6 year old)
Air-vrything.
I'm so proud.
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︎ Dec 26 2020
Courtesy of my oldest son: You know how there's an English Lexicon?
Do you think there's an English Dyslexicon?
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︎ Jul 25 2021
What's orange and sounds like a Parrot? (courtesy of a 9 year old)
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︎ Jan 05 2021
Why does snow fall? (Courtesy of my dad)
It does not know how to climb down.
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︎ Jan 17 2021
Courtesy of Victor Borge, may he rest in peace:
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︎ Mar 03 2021
Courtesy of my wife: whatβs the bear minimum?
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︎ Dec 20 2020
Int-deer-esting courtesy of r/therealjoke
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︎ Aug 25 2020
Courtesy of Have I Got News For You.
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︎ Apr 23 2020
When we dropped off the car for service, we got the last courtesy car on the dealer's lot.
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︎ Apr 09 2020
Courtesy of my kid niece: What do you call a sleeping cow?
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︎ Dec 07 2019
Courtesy of my 7 year old : What do you call a cow who is cleaning the yard?
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︎ Feb 02 2019
Corn Dog (courtesy of the Vsauce Instagram)
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︎ Jul 04 2019
One of my favorite puns courtesy of C&H
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︎ Feb 26 2018
[Dad Joke courtesy of Stephen King] The big moron and the little moron were standing on the Golden Gate bridge. The big moron fell off. Why didn't the little moron fall off too?
Because the little moron was a little more on.
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︎ Aug 01 2019
Courtesy of my favourite ten-year-old:
What happens when you can't cough?
You're coughstipated.
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︎ Dec 28 2019
Courtesy of my daughter .....
D:Why did the girl fall off the swing?
Me: I don't know
D: She had no arms!!
Short pause......
D:Knock, knock
Me:Who's there?
D:NOT THE GIRL!
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︎ May 30 2017
And now, a poem, courtesy of my brother-in-law
There once was a singer of old
Who then broke away from the fold
He won't give you up
He won't let you down
In short, you have been limeRick Rolled
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︎ Aug 31 2019
Courtesy of Transport for Greater Manchester. May require minor football knowledge..
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︎ Apr 09 2019
Courtesy of my 8 year old, "What did the cat say to the dog?"
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︎ May 29 2019
A pun courtesy of my 8 year old
What do you call a crappy lawyer?
An a-turd-ney
This was originally posted in r/jokes, but someone thought it would be better here
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︎ Jan 20 2019
Courtesy of Sterling & Lazar
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︎ Jul 19 2018
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︎ Jun 08 2019
Courtesy of my father in law
He was watching my son and then sent this.
something witty
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︎ Nov 18 2018
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︎ Mar 19 2016
Common Courtesy for Sex?
More like common coitus-y
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︎ Mar 06 2017
Courtesy of my dad this morning
Do you think after Noah set sail on the ark he said "Barn-voyage"?
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︎ Jun 17 2017
Marilyn Manson stepping up his dad-joking game. (Courtesy u/Xaurnel on r/funny)
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︎ Nov 19 2013
A dad joke courtesy of my wife
What sport is played in supermarkets?
Basketpull
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︎ Jul 30 2017
Dad joke courtesy of my roommate and her boyfriend
My roommate was coughing and her boyfriend asked if she was sick. She said no, she was just coughy. Boyfriend said he thought she was more of a tea person.
I'm so proud because I'm usually the one with the Dad jokes around here!
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︎ Nov 14 2014
Ten solid minutes of dad jokes courtesy of the great Tim Vine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=00dFzPbzOws
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︎ Nov 20 2014
A pun, courtesy of my dad
Dad:"A friend of mine was eating at an Indian restaurant and ordered the spiciest thing they had, unfortunately he had an allergic reaction and had to go to hospital."
Me:"Is he okay?"
Dad:"No he's in a korma."
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︎ Sep 09 2016
Courtesy of my Grandad
Have you heard about Yorkshire Police finding teenagers injecting ecstasy into just above their teeth?
It's called 'Ee-by-gum'.
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︎ Sep 02 2016
Summer festival provided decent setup courtesy of my wife
Her: "I remember hearing last year that the Corn Festival in Sun Prairie is pretty fun, want to go?"
Me: "I'm in but it'd better be aMAIZEing"
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︎ Jul 18 2015
Courtesy of my eye-rolling wife to tell to my kids when they grow up
Wife sent me these (she can't believe she's condoning this behavior):
What does the subatomic duck say? Quark Quark
Two photons arrive at the airport and they are asked if they have any luggage to check. "No thanks, we're traveling light"
Source
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︎ Jan 20 2014
I'm a Bit of an Airhead... (Dad Joke Courtesy of My Mom)
Whenever I have a lot of school work to do in a short period of time, I like to get a bag of candy to munch on while I work. Today I have a big essay to write, and since my mom was already out I decided to ask her to pick some up for me.
Me: Can you pick up airheads for cramming purposes?
Mom: Wouldn't smarties work better? ;P
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︎ Apr 13 2014
[Link] A dad joke, courtesy of PyroPuncher.
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︎ Mar 03 2014
Mom joke courtesy of my fiancΓ©'s mother: how do you make anti-freeze?
Take away her blanket.
I may have laughed a bit too hard
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︎ Oct 03 2013
Courtesy of my Dad today: "Where can you find a dog with no legs?"
"...right where you left him!"
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︎ Nov 07 2013
Dad jokes courtesy of the walking dad.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/awesomer/greatest-dad-jokes-from-rick-grimes
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︎ Dec 06 2013
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