Civility Puns

A list of puns related to "Civility"

Most people consider the Battle of Gettysburg the turning point of the American Civil War

For the Confederacy, it all went South from there

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👤︎ u/speedoc
📅︎ Dec 12 2020
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Civilized Dino
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👤︎ u/MostExpensiveThing
📅︎ Oct 07 2020
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What do you call the last chapter in a book about the Civil War?

The Appopendox!

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👤︎ u/Sir_Pluses
📅︎ Nov 12 2020
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Everyone keeps saying that after the election there's gonna be a civil war. I disagree.

There's gonna be a Trumper Tantrum

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👤︎ u/NotchyCookiez
📅︎ Nov 06 2020
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What do you call a snake that works for the government?

A Civil Serpent.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Jan 03 2021
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Vulture Problems (and apologies to Kansas)

The Prince of the vultures had always been a rebel, but he surprised everyone when he announced he was going to be a vegetarian. And nobody expected this to divide the vulture kingdom, with nearly half the vultures supporting the Prince's choice. Tempers flared, and civil war was brewing when the Prince burst into the King's chambers.

"Father," he cried, "I never meant to cause this. I'll do anything you say to reunite the kingdom. Please, Father, what should I eat?"

The King set a plate of roadkill in front of the Prince, and said "Carrion, my wayward son. There'll be peace when you are done."

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👤︎ u/rjsquirrel
📅︎ Jan 12 2021
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Why did Democratic senators boycott the nomination of the new Supreme Court justice?

They just couldn’t Barrett.

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👤︎ u/BornOfAVegan
📅︎ Oct 27 2020
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Did you know that on this day during the American Civil War, armies on both sides skipped breakfast?

They had to March first.

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👤︎ u/OneSidedDice
📅︎ Mar 01 2020
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What do you do if a maths puzzle infringes on your civil liberties?

Sue-doku.

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👤︎ u/KCL80
📅︎ Jan 26 2020
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I don’t like Civil War jokes

I General Lee don’t find them funny

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👤︎ u/Youngdoorstop
📅︎ Dec 04 2018
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This civil war on Syria is really...

...Assad story

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👤︎ u/Bendragonpants
📅︎ Oct 01 2019
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What ancient civilization had the best canoers?

The rowmans!

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👤︎ u/TheMightyBattleSquid
📅︎ Nov 01 2019
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People often ask me if I know my Civil War era historical figures....

My response is usually "General Lee"

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👤︎ u/doublegoldendragon
📅︎ Sep 16 2019
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Civil war jokes? I general Lee don’t find them funny
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👤︎ u/F1Fan_00
📅︎ Oct 28 2018
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My country just had a horrific civil war.

We won.

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👤︎ u/DJOK9R
📅︎ Apr 27 2019
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I think Stan Lee’s cameo in Captain America Civil War was...

general lee marvelous.

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👤︎ u/prunedada
📅︎ Nov 14 2018
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I'm sometimes okay with Civil War puns

but I General Lee don't approve

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👤︎ u/ServalSpots
📅︎ Nov 15 2018
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What does a civilization in space use as a currency?

starbucks

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👤︎ u/aparks1437
📅︎ Apr 02 2019
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I'm a historian who studies the American Civil War. Unfortunately, it's been hard making money at this.

So I applied for a General Grant.

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👤︎ u/newenglandredshirt
📅︎ Dec 14 2017
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Civil War puns might be a little controversial.

But they are General Lee easy to make.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Sep 08 2018
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In the future...

In 1,000 years, snails will evolve into being an advanced civilization. They will develop their own advanced technologies. In an effort to increase their mobility, they will equip their shells to be modular vehicles called Snail Cars, S-Car for short. Since snails do not have upper extremities, controlling the cars will be voice activated. The initiation command would be, "S-Car, GO!" 😂🤣

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👤︎ u/Dan_the_Man0904
📅︎ Jul 15 2020
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Did you know that before the civil war

In school Jefferson Davis was voted most likely to secede

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👤︎ u/timmyjaymes
📅︎ Sep 26 2018
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Civil War tutandgroan.com/civil-war…
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👤︎ u/tutandgroan
📅︎ May 17 2017
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You know what civilization had the biggest scam in history?

The Egyptians with their pyramid scheme.

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👤︎ u/Scabe
📅︎ Mar 07 2017
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How much does it cost to kill Tony Stark’s family?

One Buck

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👤︎ u/lukethekiwininja
📅︎ Dec 19 2018
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Civil engineer fired after forgetting how to design electricity-generating water barriers.

He lost his dam mind.

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👤︎ u/NeverBob
📅︎ Aug 08 2018
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What is an electronically advanced civilization called?

A gated community.

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👤︎ u/Gr3gard
📅︎ Oct 29 2014
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Whenever I hear Trump talk I think of a civil war leader rallying the troops.

I mean, just generally speaking.

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👤︎ u/KingBooRadley
📅︎ Aug 16 2017
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Which civil rights leader was the most exfoliated

Dr Martin Loofah King, Jr.

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👤︎ u/AbjectEra
📅︎ Apr 07 2018
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It's no wonder Carthage failed as a civilization...

it was always full of Carthinogens.

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👤︎ u/jegsnakker
📅︎ Mar 28 2018
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What do you call soldiers from the South when they partied during the Civil War?

Confetti-ate soldiers

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👤︎ u/Skyfi357
📅︎ Jan 21 2018
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I'm considering starting a civil rights group to fight for the rights of biological twins.

Because they're people two.

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👤︎ u/goboatmen
📅︎ Jan 11 2013
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My wife is a civil engineer

She is nice and polite

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👤︎ u/marcuccione
📅︎ Nov 20 2017
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What's the difference between a mechanical engineer and a civil engineer?

A mechanical engineer makes weapons and a civil engineer makes targets.

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👤︎ u/melance
📅︎ Nov 30 2017
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When I was young I joined the Civil Air Patrol CAP for short

My grandfather called it the Called it the Civil Regional Air Patrol.

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👤︎ u/zac_is_awesome
📅︎ Oct 16 2017
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What do you call a rude civil engineer?

An uncivil engineer.

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👤︎ u/Mgas95
📅︎ Jan 08 2015
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I saw some people building a new bridge near me and every lunch break, they would sit down for afternoon tea complete with tablecloth and napkins…

It was very civil engineering…

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ Mar 28 2020
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What do you call a polite man who builds bridges?

A civil engineer

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👤︎ u/Harry_Mote
📅︎ Apr 08 2019
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Do you like Civil War Jokes?

I don’t find them General Lee funny.

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👤︎ u/AnPurpleCow
📅︎ Jun 09 2018
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Why don't people like jokes about the Civil War?

They're General Lee not funny.

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👤︎ u/Cjborange
📅︎ Jan 29 2019
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Civil War Jokes?

I General Lee don’t find them very funny.

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👤︎ u/PrinceG_
📅︎ Nov 26 2018
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Civil War jokes?

I don't General Lee find them very funny.

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👤︎ u/JakeTheSnake134
📅︎ Nov 17 2017
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What do you call a snake that works for the government?

A civil serpent

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👤︎ u/Shoryuha
📅︎ Sep 23 2019
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