Don't worry, I'm 0K.
-an apple after going on an earthquake simulator.
Hard core park ore
It was a cider attack.
If we got rid of the Earth's core, it would be dismantling to our infrastructure.
It’s my core weakness.
because it’s a core-idor!
He was a subdued sub dude.
iWood
I've a duel core processor.
They worked their core-set
Soft core porn
but at their core they are seedy as hell.
An abdominal snowman!
I know it's been done before, and many a dad before me and many a dad after me will get to experience this, but in these dark times this was a ray of light that pierced me right to the core with joy.
I came home, and my bright and bubbly ballerina 6 year old runs up and says can I have a hug!?
She asks very tentatively because she knows I have been out all day and the routine is for me to grab a shower (COVID) before I let them get all over me.
So I say, not yet I'm dirty.
She says awww... then she turns to walk away, but then spins back around and looks at me dead in the eye and says:
Hi! um...
wait a sec,
um, I know um,
um, wait.... dir...
[Face beams the biggest smile of accomplishment]
Hi Dirty! I'm [daughter]!
I know we have those proud moments when they turn, but man her delivery, the awkwardness, and the sheer pride she beamed out when she realized she just pulled the reverse dad joke on me...
It's not the getting reverse dad'd, it's the joy and pride she had... she could have just graduated college, and that's how big her beaming smile was right then...
It's a memory I am going to keep and it really lit up this dark time.
What’s the core temperature of a tauntaun? “Lukewarm”
I said “war, ore, door”
Pic of my new device here - http://i.imgur.com/UwQ8ZUE.jpg
He was core-wrecked.
Me: I'll ab-stain, thanks.
Dad: groan Oh, that one was abdominal.
Core-ean
It was exactly what I expected.
I got repossessed.
"I wonder if quad core or duo core matters much..."
"Well, Apple's have a single core, and they run fine."
*Cue groaning
It is the apple of my eye
She said, "that's almost core-rect."
...because it was boring.
Spill the thesis
Seize the day!
Core-on
Now they’re spoiled to the alba-core.
Last night I was playing an online game with some of my son's friends, and one randomly texted on the in-game chat: "I just ate an apple. RAW!"
I wrote back, "That's hard core!"
Nobody laughed. At least, that I saw. :(
Edit: Holy moly, it gets mediocre response two days ago when it's posted, then it blows up over the weekend. Thanks for all the upvotes, folks! Love all the other terrible jokes & puns on here!
I guess he’s into soft core.
all of my friends hate puns to the core, but i love them so so much and i like to annoy them with the really really bad ones, so give me your best reddit and make me proud :D
I've been getting into cornography lately! Do y'all know of any good corn sites? I'm a big fan of hard core schucking, but I like the occasional slow stuff.
Core-ean
Core-ean
