Cooking pun of the year
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︎ Oct 23 2019
My dad's not allowed to speak Japanese, let alone teach the language. But there's nothing that says he can't teach Japanese cooking and geography. So far, I just learned the cooking tools and the location of the country.
This is Japan, this is ja-spatula, this is ja-whisk, this is ja-wok, this is ja-mixer, this is ja-fork, this is ja-spoon, and these are ja-chopsticks.
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︎ Jan 24 2021
My wife rang me at the pub and said, βIf youβre not home in 10 minutes, Iβm giving the dinner I cooked you to the dog.β I was home in 5 minutes.
Iβd hate for anything to happen to the dog.
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︎ Sep 06 2020
My dad, who can not cook to save his life, after failing to boil eggs:
To my mom: hey honey, are these hardboiled eggs? There more like hard-to-boil eggs. Hahaha
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︎ Jan 26 2021
I once made a robot out of east asian cooking vessels.
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︎ Feb 01 2021
While cooking, I asked my wife if we have any Sage. She said "We have some ground sage"
I asked her "Do we have any sage that's not on the floor?"
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︎ Jan 04 2021
What do wilderness survival experts use to cook their burgers
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︎ Jan 13 2021
My son told me he loved my cooking very much.
I asked if he'd vote for me if I ran for gour-mayor of our town.
π︎ 6
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︎ Jan 17 2021
Nauru is the most obese country in the world, followed by the Cook Islands.
Does that mean that the Cook Islands have a fat chance of catching up?
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︎ Jan 23 2021
Why canβt Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best mate?
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︎ Nov 01 2020
French fries arenβt cooked in France
Theyβre cooked in greece
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︎ Dec 03 2020
Thought of this one while I was cooking last night
My left hand is clean, but, on the other hand, I did touch meat.
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︎ Jan 05 2021
What does Chewbacca cook his food in?
π︎ 6
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︎ Jan 09 2021
What do you call an Arby's cook who leaves to work for McDonald's?
π︎ 15
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︎ Dec 07 2020
The rock was cooking but forgot the ketchup.
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︎ Nov 01 2020
I must say, my wife's cooking has really improved.
That was the best slice of soup I've ever had.
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︎ Dec 18 2020
"You wanna cook the pasta right,"
"Or I'll-dente my teeth."
Brought to you by my dad.
π︎ 15
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︎ Dec 17 2020
Just found out lesbians actually cook.
I thought they just ate out..
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︎ Dec 04 2020
My wife asked if she could have a little peace and quiet while she cooked dinner.
So I took the battery out of the smoke detector.
π︎ 65
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︎ Oct 31 2020
My kids say my cooking is incredible...
π︎ 7
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︎ Dec 16 2020
Did you know that the first ever French Fry wasnβt cooked in France?
π︎ 205
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︎ Oct 08 2020
Cooking always puts my wife in a bad mood...
She beats the eggs and whips the cream.
π︎ 10
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︎ Nov 24 2020
How do you cook a dramatic steak?
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 12 2020
Our cooking teacher gave us a notice about the part of our upcoming exam where we'd be working with cheese wheels...
"It'll be grated on a curve."
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 14 2020
I saw an Italian man cooking pasta with a flame thrower.
I cannoli imagine what he was thinking.
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 12 2020
What does Pac-Man like to cook with?
π︎ 8
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︎ Dec 02 2020
A Greek cooked a wrap up in the air.
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 08 2020
One of my friends asked "what's the best way to cook an alligator?"
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︎ Sep 20 2020
How do you cook a bear?
π︎ 3
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︎ Oct 31 2020
How long does it take to cook naan bread?
π︎ 8
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︎ Nov 26 2020
My wife REALLY enjoys my cooking
She says i'm peking of the world, whenever i prepare duck for her.
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︎ Dec 07 2020
Why don't cannibals cook their food?
They prefer raw men.
(ramen).
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︎ Nov 05 2020
An hour before 5 in the morning is the best time to cook a sweet potato.
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︎ Nov 10 2020
Why Did The Cook Want to Become a Writer?
Because he wanted to flip the script!
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︎ Nov 06 2020
Unpealievable..
π︎ 3k
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︎ Dec 16 2020
I was watching an Australian cooking show the other day
Every time the chef made a meringue, the audience clapped. I was confused. I always thought Australians boo meringue.
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︎ Oct 27 2020
I have a phobia of using the wrong amounts of ingredients when Iβm cooking
So Iβve been taking measures to deal with it
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︎ Nov 12 2020
What do you cook fries with?
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 25 2020
How did they know that Blackbeard's cook was Italian?
Because his only spice was AAARRgano.
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︎ Nov 13 2020
My 6 yr old son has an attitude problem at the dinner table. He barely eats and always makes the rudest comments about the home-cooked food we provide him, so tonight we tried alphabet soup.
I really hope he eats his words.
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︎ Nov 06 2020
My wife's an abysmal cook. She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes...
She made a right hash of it.
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︎ Nov 07 2020
How does Fozzy the Bear cook his food?
π︎ 6
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︎ Nov 16 2020
Did you know that the first French Fries werenβt cooked in France or America?
They were cooked in Greece.
π︎ 9k
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︎ May 15 2020
There was a debate whether or not if French fries were cooked in France...
I say they were cooked in Greece.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
Harry Potter can't tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best mate.
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︎ Nov 17 2020
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