My dad and I walked into Barnes and Noble today...
On the display there was a book called "The Smartest Guy in the Room." My dad turned to me and said "I should sue, I didn't give them permission to do a biography of me. "
Yesterday a man drove his car into a barn full of horses.
He’s listed in serious but stable condition.
The internet connection in my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.
Used to never be able to use the wifi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
Owl jump on the barn-wagon
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Who
... who who?
How did you know I'm an owl! :o
Why was the farmer afraid to rescue the cow from on top of the barn?
The steaks were too high.
Dad getting back into the house from the barn...
Dad: the cows are really mad because you haven't been returning their calls.
Wife: what?
Dad: they've been trying to re-chew all night.
What's an Amish's favorite kind of raisin?
I'm sick and tired of people coming into my house, trying to sell me books, and then just marching out and leaving the door wide open.
Were these people born in a Barnes and Noble or something?
Why did the man work in a barn for hus whole life?
Because is was a stable career
One day Sven was walking past Ole's place and noticed a sign that said Boat For Sale.
Sven went up to the barn and said "Ole, I see da sign in your yard. All you have is a tractor and a combine". Ole said "Yep, and der boat for sale!"
The person who invented 'autocorrect' walks into a barn
Where do sea cows sleep at night?
Imagine how happy Barn Owls were...
When people finally started making barns
Why wasn’t the horse interested in breeding in the barn?
He was more hoping for a stable relationship.
Roofing a new barn with my daughter. "Hey, you know that song about women roofers?" (No....) "Yeah you do - Shingle Ladies."
It's on the album "The Roof is For Hire"
How do cows light their barns?
Do you suppose Amish pyromaniacs practice barn razing?
When Amish build barns it's called "barn raising". But raze is also a term to destroy, ruin or flatten.
A farmer’s convict son was supposed to be helping him with the chores. When he looked behind the barn, his son was asleep on the hay.
From the 2020 SAT, geometry section: A farmer is welding parts in his barn. He wants to cut four bars of equal length from two lengths of iron rebar measuring 16 feet, 8 inches and 5 feet, 10 inches. How much material will be discarded? Bonus: where will the rebar, once welded, go for a good time?
When I went into the barn I saw my father doing a strip tease act in front of our tractor
He explained that he went to a marriage counselor because mom didn't want to be intimate anymore. The counselor told him he should do something sexy to attract her.
What is a Barn Owl’s favourite subject at school?
Me (to daughter): “Why do you think barns are red?”
Daughter (in her obviously voice, very sure of herself): “To attract the bulls.”
CDC is warning farmers of a new virus rapidly spreading among barn-cats and farm-dogs nationwide
They are calling it “Woof and Meowth disease”
A vampire bat returned to his colony with a lot of blood on his face. When the other bats asked him what happened he pointed to a building and said: “See that cow barn over there?”
Why did the hen lay around in the barn all day?
What’s the name for a horse that is the smartest one in the barn?
So this farmer built a 5 story barn for his cattle.
He's really raising the steaks.
Three women were on the run from the law (A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead).
Their car breaks down next to a corn field and they decide to run through it as the law is quickly approaching. They stumble upon a barn. Inside they find three burlap sacks and one of them suggests they should each hide inside one. Shortly after, the sherriff and his deputies arrive at the barn. They notice the three sacks.
The sheriff kicks the first one containing the brunette and she says "Meow, meow."
"Oh it's just a sack of kittens." One of the deputies says.
The sherriff kicks the sack where the redhead is hiding and she says "woof, woof."
"That's just a sack of puppies" they say.
The sherriff kicks the third sack with the blonde inside and she exclaims "Potato, potato."
What do you call when cows escape from the barn?
What kind of milk do cows with no barn make?
Today I learned that one time a cow exploded a barn by farting
It must’ve been udder madness
What happens when you bring electronics into a barn?
Everything goes haywire
I hate you dad
I turned on my computer and it showed a picture of a man in overalls and a straw hat standing next to a barn.
It was the Farmer in the Dell.
We should have a global storage system for crops...
Some people just want to watch the World Barn.
Why did the cow climb on to the roof of the barn?
Because it didn't want to be ground beef
The internet connection in my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.
The internet connection in my farm was really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.
The internet connection at my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.
The internet connection at my farm was really poor, so I moved the modem to the barn.
The rancher’s wifi wasn’t working so he moved the router to the barn...
Now he has a stable connection
The internet connection at my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.
I had terrible internet connection on my farm till I moved the modem to the barn.
Working in a barn is a stable career.
Why did the barn collapse?
Because it wasn't stable.
I was having trouble with my internet connection , so I moved the modem to the barn.
Why did the barn collapse?
Because it wasn't stable.
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