What do you call a well educated Englishman napping?

An Oxford Coma

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πŸ‘€︎ u/willehsballs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all watching a street performer doing some amazing juggling

The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a poor few of the show. So, the juggler stands on a wooden box and asks, β€œCan you all see me now?”

β€œYes” β€œOui” β€œSi” β€œJa”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jtrad_24
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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An American, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, a Burmese, a Chinese, a Canadian, a Dutchman, a Dane, an Englishman, an Estonian, a German, a Japanese, a Korean, a Mexican, a Nepalese, a Pole, a Russian, and a Welshman all walk into a posh bar. The doorman says sorry, we have standards.

You can’t come in without a Thai.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar

Ahhh, those were the days.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lejoymac
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2020
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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are standing, watching a street performer do some juggling.

The performer notices they have a rather poor view, so stands on a large box, asking 'Can you see me better now?' They reply:

'Yes' 'Oui' 'Si' 'Ja'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LilGingeyboi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are stranded on desert island.

Whilst gathering food, they find a magical golden lamp. The Englishman says β€œrub the lamp!” They do, and a genie appears. β€œI only have three wishes to offer,” he says, β€œso I’ll give you one wish each.

The Englishman says, β€œI’d like to be living in a penthouse in London with Β£1,000,000 in my bank account.” His wish is granted.

The Scotsman says β€œI’d love to live in a renovated Scottish castle with Β£2,000,000 in my bank account.” His wish is granted.

The genie then turns to the Irishman: β€œAnd what do you wish for?” The Irishman says to the genie, β€œIt’s getting a bit lonely here, can I have the other two back?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LTAD2108
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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What does an Englishman say when he wants to know how you're doing?

"UK?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/F-FOR-FARTS
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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How much should the average Englishman weigh?

One Briton

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirSpicyBunghole
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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An englishman, a frenchman, an african and a half-japanese man all order iced tea

It was very bizarre.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotEye9
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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A Welshman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a park and see a slide. This is no ordinary slide, mind you, this slide is magic!

Anything you say as you're going down the slide is what you will land in.

The Irishman goes first.

"A POT OF GOLD!" he yells as he slides down and he lands in a pot of gold.

The Welshman goes next.

"POT OF DIAMONDS!" he yells just as loud as the Irishman and he lands in a pot of diamonds.

The Englishman goes next, but he's been on the drink, so he stumbles his way up the slide, then, as he begins his journey down the slide, he yells, "WEEEEE!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar

The barman says "What is this some kind of joke?"

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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What do a rude Frenchman and a ruthless Englishman have in common?

No merci.

Sorry for the double post. Thought of a better wording.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alligatorblowgun
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2017
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An Englishman took a train through the Nullarbor plain...

...he found it a bit pointless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onechordbassist
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German are all watching a dolphin do some excellent tricks.

The dolphin notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he jumps higher out of the water and calls out, 'Can you all see me now?' And they respond: 'Yes.' 'Oui.' 'SΓ­.' 'Ja.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AgamGamez
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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An Englishman, a Scotsman, A Welshman, An American, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, a South African, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli, a Dane, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, and a Buddhist went to a nightclub.

The doorman said, "I'm sorry, I can't let you in without a Thai."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Espadajin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2017
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How do an Englishman, a Frenchman and an Israeli greet Barack Obama?

Yes

Oui (Yes in French)

Χ›ΧŸ (Ken - Yes in Hebrew)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pfo_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2017
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An Englishman, A Frenchman, A Spaniard and A German go to a magic show

They arrive late so all the seats were taken. The 4 gentlemen decide to stand in the narrow walkway at the back, one behind the other.

The Magician on stage notices the commotion, and asks the gentlemen:

"Can you all see me from there?"

So the gentlemen reply in order:

"Yes." "Oui." "Si." "Ja."

(Note: I didn't find a joke similar to this on here, but if you did post this joke before, please let me know πŸ˜‰)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlduinIsAGeordie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
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Me, as an Englishman during the penalty shootout today: β›ΊπŸŽͺ

I was two tents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Z0MGbies
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2018
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Why was the Englishman taking pictures of his money?

Because the camera adds ten pounds.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreemanForever
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2017
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How does an Englishman treat his sunburns?

Aloe, guvnah!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Taller
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2017
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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are sitting in a room...

...a man enters and asks them "Can you see me?" and they respond; "Yes." "Oui." "SΓ­." "Ja."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jonmokoko
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2020
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An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, "Can you all see me now?"

"Yes"

"Oui"

"Si"

"Ja"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amanbbi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
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An Englishman, German, French and Italian are standing at the side of a street watching a street performer.

The street performer noticed that they all have poor eye sight so he asked them whether they can see him and they responded: "Yes" "Oui" "Sì" "Ja"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noir_Reaper
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
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What do a polite Frenchman and a compassionate Englishman have in common?

No, merci.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jerkstore_84
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2017
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An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar

The bar man says " Is this supposed to be some kind of joke? "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skottagecheese
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2016
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