Cooking pun of the year
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I invited my girlfriend over for dinner to have sausages and mash. I warned her that I'm not a very good cook though.

I wanted her to be prepared for the Wurst.

πŸ‘︎ 449
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shawry308
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don’t cannibals ever cook noodles?

They prefer raw men.

πŸ‘︎ 107
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2021
🚨︎ report
A paragraph of cooking/food based puns

Yam know, I know alot of ice food plums. I can dumpling em on you right now desprite the pickle I'm in. They're pretea cheesey but they get cheddar! There's eggndless pastabilities when it cucumbers to word plate. I doughn't meat to egg you on butter you should really try it! Just lettuce loose. Mustard up the courage to ketchup with the times and mayoby relish in the potgress of bready made humor! I know it mayo seem fishy butter you'll loaf it! I know you vegemight not carrot about puns but they're truly bratworth it! Clam on, don't be a chicken! Don't let your creams be creams! You donut know what you're mincing! Yah goatta be nuts not to try it once! I meat, water you doing right now anywaffer? Once you do, orange you be glad you tried? I'll even pear you up with someone you can make grape puns with! I'm sugar you'll be able to bake olive the amazucchini ones I'm saying right now! There'll be so much to tacobout. Though, I hope you don't have any beef. I don't think I'm stroganoff to stop boba you if you fight. I won't be able to cashew . Cerealously. Soooda...I guess you batter be ice and things will be all peachy! Oh to be a pizza the fun.. Man, I can go on but I'm dragonfruitn' this out and I avocadon't wanna come off as souper corny. So, lettuce toast to the cake world of puns and mango on like never before!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LaptopArmageddon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do masochists cook with gas?

Because they’re pro-pain enthusiasts.

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sirsquid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2021
🚨︎ report
I never trusted that cook

He was a sus chef

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Oh_My_Monster
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Dwane Johnson just got into Asian cooking

He now goes by β€œthe wok”

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cosmicgamer2009
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2021
🚨︎ report
How does Lady Gaga like her meat cooked?

Raw raw raw raw raw!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2021
🚨︎ report
My friend was feeling rushed and stressed about not having enough herbs for his cooking.

I told him about a substitution he could make and he was relieved, replying β€œthank you for the sage advice. I did not have enough thyme for this”

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nopols
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Scientists discovered the first fries were in fact not cooked in France...

They were first cooked in Greece

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHibernian
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you need when you have to cook something big, quickly?

A macrowave

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tomato1210
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2021
🚨︎ report
My mother’s cooked dinners used to be so bland

But I’ll admit they’ve gotten better with thyme (based on a true story)

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hi-I-am-Lloyd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a magician who's good at cooking?

A sauceror

πŸ‘︎ 785
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cap10HighGround
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Cooking
πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bitchyswiftie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report
The guy who cooks eggs at my local cafΓ© gave me some great tips on storing pheasant and rabbit meat

A poacher is the best gamekeeper after all

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moorda
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2021
🚨︎ report
And some kosher salt
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2021
🚨︎ report
I was planning on cooking alligator for dinner tonight...

...but I only have a Croc Pot.

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AkuuDeGrace
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2021
🚨︎ report
Whenever I'm cooking lentils, I try to use golden lentils.

I find that they're a legume above the rest.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NaturalBornNerd
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Hey guys! Did you hear about the fancy new cooking show that got cancelled after only one episode?

The critics panned it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealTsavo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife was upset because she doesn’t think I like her cooking…

To prove her wrong, I had another slice of gravy.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I was going to cook alligator for dinner.

Until I realized I only had a croc pot.

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/elster000
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Cooked a pizza tonight, didn’t have a pizza cutter, so I used my Bryan Adams CD,

It cuts like a knife.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/D9_CAT
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2021
🚨︎ report
A teenaged girl rolled her eyes as her mom was cooking eggs for her father.

That’s her typical reaction to dad’s yolks.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SlickHeadSinger
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What is the best pan to cook sushi in?

Japan

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tkdxe
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2021
🚨︎ report
So someone once told me they wanted to cook Alligator…

But they said they only had a crockpot

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HayBaleTheGreat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2021
🚨︎ report
I sent my son to a German cooking school camp, but all he got to do is add herbs to sausages.

He had the wurst thyme.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the mad cook insist everyone eat the mussel-sultana soup?

Purely for shellfish raisins.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Last night I experimented cooking some Ribeyes with cannabis oil.

The steaks were high

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AquamarineCheetah
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the Liverpool fan always help his wife cook Chinese?

So she’d never wok alone.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/baycommuter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cook at The International House of Pancakes?

A full stack developer

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Glassweaver
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2021
🚨︎ report
One good way to cook chicken is in the back of a large steam train where the coal is stored.

It makes the meat very tender.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bbew_Mot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you cook an alligator

Use a croc-pot

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a zombie cooking stir fry?

Dead man woking.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/demonicplanet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm a line cook and looking for a way to get in on some of the extra cash that servers earn.

Got any tips you can share?

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ScreaminTom
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I was once a trusted member of a totally secret cooking society. But they kicked me out..

..for spilling the beans.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2021
🚨︎ report
Recently watched an Australian cooking show where the chef got applauded for making meringue

Strange...usually Australians boo meringue

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yoru
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2021
🚨︎ report
Cooks naming countries

If there was a country made surrounded by water, would they call it marination?

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boringsapien
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know the first French fries weren't cooked in France?

They were cooked in grease

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SupremeBeing420
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2021
🚨︎ report
I was going to cook alligator for dinner.

But I realized that I only have a croc pot.

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IBelieveIAmBi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2021
🚨︎ report
The first French frys weren’t cooked in France

They were cooked in grease!

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TonesFromTheBlock
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Why don't cannibals cook their food?

They prefer raw men.

(ramen).

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you know the first French fries weren’t cooked in France?

They were cooked in Greece.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xDukeSilverx
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Wanted to cook alligator for dinner tonight

But all I had was a croc pot

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WishfulWonderer3
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2021
🚨︎ report
I was going to cook alligator for dinner...

Then I realised I only had a croc pot

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RodimusMajor84
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I wanted to cook alligator for dinner

But all I had was a Croc pot

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SleepyPaladin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2021
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.