my friend richard bought a new house today

if you ask me its kinda a dick move

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/epicgamer927
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2021
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Did you hear the one about Austin Richard Post? Oh, of course have.

This is a Re-Post Malone joke.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iMakeCrap
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2021
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How do you get 'Dick' from Richard?

You ask nicely

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/multiplefroggs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 01 2021
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Hello, my name is Richard, and I have a bad knee..

You can call me Limp Dick

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ATalkingDoubleBarrel
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2020
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What is Richard Simmons doing in my house?

I didn't in-vitamin.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2020
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What did Richard say to his friend Ted?

I'm addicted.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sergeantsexxy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 11 2020
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I'm thinking of entering a talent show. I have two ideas for my act. Either a Blues Traveler cover band, or an impression of Richard Nixon.

I'm hoping to win, by Hook or by Crook.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/epitomizer1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 29 2020
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What do you call awesome guys named Richard?

Fabrics

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MadLoathe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2020
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My son asked, β€œHow do you get Dick from Richard?”

I said, β€œWell, you gotta go to dinner first.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 234
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Yankeefan00
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 18 2020
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Richard Osman with an absolute peach imgur.com/esZMaHi
πŸ‘οΈŽ 148
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VisualShock1991
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 20 2020
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Can you believe California is having an electric shortage? Richard Ricity should run for governor

This way the people can elect Ricity.

The campaign would be "Elect Rick".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/professorf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 19 2020
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For Frick sakes Richard
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/please_be-gentle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2020
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How do we know Richard Pryor wasn’t a virgin birth?

His mom had Dick Pryor.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Brainsonastick
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 15 2020
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I caught my friend Richard hitting on my wife.

It was a real Dick move.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 06 2020
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I helped my friend Richard relocate

He said it was a Dick move

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Warriorcatv2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 02 2020
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Richard Plier
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/loosecashews
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 29 2020
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I once knew a guy named Richard Richards.

He was at least two times more of a Dick than anyone else I know.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Zaine_Raye
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 19 2020
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Complaining about someone to Richard

That guy sucks Dick!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/This_account_is_dyin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 06 2020
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Did you hear that Mick Jagger and Keith Richards had a huge falling out because Mick wouldn't stop speaking in broken Spanish?

When asked about it in an interview, Mick confirmed that "The Rolling Stones gather no mas"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mr_robototoro
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 03 2020
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How do you get Dick from Richard, anyway? (You ask him nicely, that's how.)
πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PG4044
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 06 2019
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I don't think Jeremy Clarkson or Richard Hammond know what they're doing...

But James May

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Propane13
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 02 2017
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What kind of cheese is always telling Richard what to do?

Ricotta

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/beetlebath
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 09 2019
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How do you say, "Richard and Robert retrieved a rabbit" without pronouncing the "r's?"

Dick and Bob caught a bunny.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Amoreena23
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 27 2016
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What Do You Call A Communist Potatoe Named Richard

A Dick Tater...

I'll see myself out

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CameForTheLurking
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2019
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Why did Richard Nixon say he burnt his steak?

"I'm not a cook."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheMys1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 07 2019
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My ex and I had cute names for each other. He called me baby and I called him Richard.

Because he was a dick.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Wakanda4eva4eva
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 23 2019
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I don't understand nicknames. Like, how do you get "Dick" out of Richard?

Easy, take him out to dinner.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AlorisBand
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 27 2018
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Have you met Richard? The gay one.

I heard he likes dick better

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fwerees26
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 17 2019
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What did Richard Feynman name his pet turtle?

"Mandelbrot"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fishnogeek
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 19 2019
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What did King Richard the potato go by?

Dick tater!!!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TicklesWhenITouchIT
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2019
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I’m the principal of a school called St.Richard

So I guess you could say I’m the dickhead.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iAm_Unsure
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 15 2019
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My friend Richard sent me a selfie.

It was a Dickpic.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WhereBeThemPieRates
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2018
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The latest despot's name is Richard Potato,

But his friends just call him Dick Tater.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Reefay
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16 2018
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Went to a football game with my friend Richard.

There was this guy on the pitch with a beanie on his head. He scored the first goal, a header.

"Great goal," I said.

"Yes," said my friend. "A great goal."

Another opportunity arose ten minutes later, and the same player jumped up, and scored another header. A terrific one.

"Wow, that was unstoppable," I told my friend.

"Yes, unbelievable. Unstoppable," he replied.

Towards the end of the game, the same player leapt up, scored another incredible header.

I turned to my friend, flabbergasted and said, "I think that thing on his head, it's giving him some sort of advantage. This entire game he hasn't missed a single header."

"What about it?" asked my friend.

I said. "He's got a hat, Rick."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2018
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Richard's new punemy.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/engineer_whizz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 26 2018
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I’m often a witness to my British friend Richard’s antics, involving randomly placing baked desserts in people’s homes.

More than once I’ve spotted Dick putting.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WhiteWalterBlack
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 10 2018
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I regret not naming my baby Richard.

I could've been sending Dick pics all the time.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 37
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/talkboyy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 17 2017
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How do you get β€œDick” from Richard?

Buy him dinner first!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/becarefulprincess
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 16 2020
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How do you get Dick from Richard?

You ask nicely.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 15 2019
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Im a principal of a school called St. Richards

So I guess you could say Im the dickhead

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Penguin-of_Doom
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16 2019
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I'm the principal of a school called st richards

I guess you could said I'm the dickhead

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RetroGamer10
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 15 2019
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