This year's Fibonacci Convention was a great success.
It was as big as the last two combined!
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︎ Dec 12 2020
Just been invited to the drummers convention.
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︎ Apr 01 2021
A new variant of head lice has appeared and they are resistant to conventional treatments.
This has left scientists scratching their heads l
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︎ Mar 13 2021
Told my kid that I was taking my Mom to a Covid Vaccine event at the convention center.
They said, βOh, a mass shooting.β
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︎ Apr 14 2021
John felt like the odd one out at the Mohawk convention, maybe because of the language barrier?!
Heβs not a native speaker after all
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︎ Feb 26 2021
Just seen that there's a nudist convention on in town next week....
...I might go if I've got nothing on
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︎ Jan 27 2021
Did you hear about the diarrhoea outbreak at the journalist convention?
Itβs all over the news!
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︎ Dec 20 2020
Did you hear about the locksmith convention coming to town?
I hear they've got the keynote speaker locked up.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
I went to a comedy and phylosophy convention
Laughed more than I thought
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︎ Dec 24 2020
I cheated on my wife at the magma convention...
I got caught up in the thrill of a lava fair.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
I went to a Star Trek convention dressed as a tree...
..... I was the captain's log
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︎ Oct 25 2020
I just flew in from a Transformers convention.
And boy my arms are tires.
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︎ Oct 29 2020
Why don't convents have trouble retaining seamstresses?
Because that work is habit forming.
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︎ Dec 11 2020
What do you call a butcher convention?
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︎ Oct 31 2020
I didn't expect to see that convention of skilled printers in Madridβ¦
It was a Spanish ink-wiz-isition.
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︎ Oct 31 2020
A man brought his trike to a 4 Wheeler convention but was refused at the door for not following the dress code.
They told him that he was missing attire
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︎ Sep 09 2020
I went to a furry convention and they were doing a Shakespearean play
I think it was "Much UwU About Nothing"
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︎ Jun 20 2020
I tried to sneak into a Star Trek convention disguised as a Doctor.
The security guard suspected I was not the Real McCoy.
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︎ Jun 29 2020
A prisoner joined a convent and wanted to be a part of their marching band. What instrument did she decide to play?
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︎ Sep 28 2020
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
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︎ Sep 24 2020
They only had size of shirt available at the psychic convention.
Turns out they're mediums.
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︎ Aug 26 2020
Official song of nun's formally leaving a convent:
Linkin Park's "Breaking the Habit."
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︎ Aug 09 2020
The psychic convention is cancelled
Due to unforeseen circumstances
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︎ Mar 23 2020
Why are all convents non-profit organizations?
Because nun of them are in it for the money.
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︎ Jul 20 2020
Went to a German dentist convention where they wanted donations of metals.
I told them βNein, out of tin.β Dentists agreed.
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︎ Jun 04 2020
Mother Superior had to crack down on sisters wearing perfume in the convent.
She said she would not tolerate such nun scents.
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︎ Jan 30 2020
Where do mathematicians hold their annual convention?
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︎ Dec 31 2019
Star Trek fans always expect a gift when going to a convention.
They call it the Enter prize
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︎ Apr 19 2020
Thereβs a new company that goes in conventions and claim they can track you by your smell
But they canβt do it without your con scent
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︎ Feb 09 2020
A detective couple adopts a teenager who turns out to be a pyromaniac.
After spending a few days at a detective convention, they come home to find their house burned to the ground.
"What do you think caused this?" One asked the other.
The other just sighed and replied "It was most likely ourson (arson)."
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︎ Mar 09 2021
What do you call an E-girl convention?
A SIMPosium!
(Not here to hate on simps just a pun i thought of)
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︎ Mar 20 2020
Why did the German sales team get kicked out of the sausage convention?
They were the wurst people.
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︎ Mar 26 2020
Don't order the carat cake at a jewlers' convention
The quality is excellent, but the serving size is only 0.2 grams
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︎ Feb 24 2020
Native American naming conventions (contains a swear word)
My dad used to tell me this one growing up:
>Native American child is with his father. He looks up at him and says "Dad, how did you figure out what to name us when we were born?"
>
>The dad responds "Son, it's easy: I just looked around nature and what I saw is what I named you. Your sister, Flying-Eagle, for instance, was born while an eagle flew overhead. Your brother was named Roaming-Buffalo for a similar reason. Why do you ask, Two-Dogs-Fucking?"
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︎ Jan 27 2020
TIL: A recent study found that the newest strain of head lice is resistant to conventional treatment.
That left scientists scratching their heads.
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︎ Mar 14 2019
Did you hear about the guy at the locksmith convention who got onstage and talked about music?
He was the Key Note speaker!
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︎ Feb 04 2020
A famous horror novelist was at a convention when a man asked, βWhy are all your books so dark? Iβve tried, but I just canβt manage to read any of them.β The novelist responded,
βSo you havenβt tried turning on a light then?β
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︎ Feb 05 2020
I just got fired from a job at a convention center explaining in simple terms to businesses why they should come demo their products at our conventions.
It's my exposition exposition ex-position.
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︎ Sep 02 2019
Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware convention?
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︎ Dec 05 2019
A new strain of head lice is going around which is resistant to conventional treatments.
That has left scientists scratching their heads.
π︎ 13k
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︎ Aug 31 2020
A new strain of lice is going around that is resistant to conventional treatments.
That has left scientists scratching their heads.
π︎ 8k
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︎ Oct 19 2019
A new strain of head lice is going around which is resistant to conventional treatments
That has left scientists scratching their heads
π︎ 6
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︎ Sep 18 2020
A new strain of head lice is going around which is resistant to conventional treatments
It has left scientists scratching their heads.
π︎ 10
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︎ Sep 02 2020
I just flew in from a Transformers convention
And boy are my arms tires
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︎ Apr 29 2020
Earlier, I tried to sneak into the Star Trek convention disguised as the starship's doctor.
Security soon twigged I wasn't the real McCoy
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︎ Oct 04 2019
A new strain of head lice is going around that is resistant to conventional treatments.
This has left scientists scratching their heads.
π︎ 11
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︎ Jan 03 2020
A recent study has discovered a new strain of lice that is resistant to conventional treatment.
That has left scientists scratching their heads.
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︎ May 01 2019
There's a nudist convention in our town next weekend.
I might go if I've got nothing on.
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︎ Oct 04 2019
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