What a desserter!
Assault-lick.
All he got was a pine groan.
Funnely enough
Avoid the area, as it has all been coned off.
Turns out, it's a pigment of your imagination
I hopped to it!
He got hit by a bus
I'm looking for band names that involve the word cone (specifically traffic cones). A few examples I have come up with are "The Rolling Cones," "Earth Wind and Cone," and "The Conas Brothers." I'm sure there are lots of good ones that I'm not thinking of.
"Get yo' free cone 🎵"
(credit: guy at work told this one in a meeting)
Sometimes you just have to give it a good lickin'
But I think he has a solid point
The streets were oddly desserted that night.
He's been a wafer so long now
Me: "hi I'm jimmy ice cream eyes" Her: "hi Jimmy, you're looking sharp today.." As she walked away.
It's like she doesn't even have to try
I put together ice cream cones for dessert for my husband and six kids, then scooped some ice cream into a bowl for myself. My husband's friend (dad of one) came in and asked for a cone for himself. He noticed my bowl and asked me what I had against cones. I explained that I'm soy-intolerant, and the cones have soy in them.
He immediately said, "Oh, I'm soy sorry."
So, I'm the coach of my daughter's soccer team. After a tournament, we had to do our share of the clean up and they told us to gather all of the cones set up on the fields. I turned to few girls on the team and said:
"I guess you could say that we're CONEsolidating."
... I wonder why my daughter doesn't want me to coach next year.
...my younger brother asks out loud "What's that guy doing?"
Without a seconds hesitation my dad: "He's just chilling out"
His cones don’t work.
So I put out some snow cones.
But I thought "that's just a silly cone"
More specifically, my friend and I are going to every ice cream place we possibly can this summer and want to think of a name for our little adventure. "Tour de cone" is a dumb example we came up with. Anyone have other suggestions!? Thanks!
Silly cones
Mice cream cones.
Picture a road like this, covered in traffic cones and traffic slowed to a crawl.
Dad: An ice cream van crashed here this morning.
Me: Really?
Dad: Yeah, look at all the cones on the road.
*slaps steering wheel in delight
Not my best, but I'm working on it https://i.imgur.com/uprrPy9.jpg
Me: Do pine cones have a purpose?
Husband: I’m not sure, but I know that pine needles aren’t pointless.
*Our baby is 7 months old.
she was picking up pine cones and I asked what she wanted them for. she said her husband needed them to smoke the bees.
me: "why smoke the bees? why not just smoke marijuana?"
her: "we want to get a good buzz"
The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.
Puns for Kids
Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!
What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!
Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!
Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.
How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!
No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
What musical is about a train conductor? “My Fare, Lady”.
A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
What animals are on legal documents? Seals!
Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!
Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.
Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!
How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!
Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Dockyard: A physician’s garden.
What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!
The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.
“What’s purple and 5000 miles long?” “Ooh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”
Every calendar’s days are numbered.
This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. “Four bucks,” says the bartender. “Put it on my bill.”
I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.
What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!
When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is
... keep reading on reddit ➡She got an ice cream cone from the freezer. When she opened it, and found the tip of the cone was broken. She said " there's no point eating this."
I sent my dad a picture with the caption "they gave me my stupid hat."
He replied "That's not a stupid hat, that's a smart hat. Stupid hats are cone shaped."
You've got some amazing cones.
So we're out at a salad buffet type restaurant with self server ice-cream. My father, being quite the large human, makes himself a monstrosity of an ice-cream. This thing is like 6-8 inches tall and sitting on a baby sugar cone. He proceeds to eat the phalic dessert with much enthusiasm and I ask him,
"Dad are you enjoying that?"
He stops mid lick
"Not half as much as this icecream is"
My father ladies and gentlemen.
We visited a homemade ice cream store yesterday where they make their own waffle cones right there in front of you as you wait. As we were loading the family back in the car, I remarked that we all smelled like waffle cones. My wife responded with:
"How WAFFLE!"
A mice cream cone
