What do you call a scandal concerning a rich engineer where the list of accusations only gets longer and longer over time?
What is the most concerning thing about Lyme Disease?
New cases have lately been on an uptick.
It was a it concerning that the zoo had such a low fence for the Bobcat exhibit. We knew we were safe when we realized it was distracted by the Deere next door.
Despite much doubt concerning the legality of his excess consumption of Greek cuisine, it was indeed..
... fully lawful to feel awful after getting full off all that falafel.
I made a huge decision concerning my college career...
BringItBackNowYall: Mom, I'm going to study abroad my junior year.
Mom: Well shit, BringItBackNowYall. I kind of figured you would someday.
BringItBackNowYall: I'm glad you understand.
Mom: So tell me, which one is she?
Edit: For the record, I'm a lady :)
My dad, concerning his 10-year-old Motorola Razr he still uses.
"My phone doesn't have data. It's an orphan. It doesn't have data or a mama."
I love you, Dad.
Concerning the FBI/Apple iPhone case going to the supreme court...
I don't understand: iPhone cases don't cost more than $50. Why does one need to go to the supreme court?
This was my father's text to me this morning concerning Harrison Ford.
Him: Harrison Ford injured in crash landing of a piece of junk. Wondering if special modifications were contributing factor. Inquired about Chewbacca's condition. Nancy assured me this was a solo flight.
Me: you're the devil.
Concerning Hair Dye
My girlfriend was putting color into her hair earlier today. She commented to me that the previous color was determined to stick around. I looked her in the eye and said, "you could say it has its...roots". Eye rolls and sighs followed. I felt rather proud.
The wife looked concerned when my son showed an interest in electricals at the age of 5.
He asked about the neutral wire.
I said "don't worry, its just a phase."
The farmer was very concerned when his cows got into his marijuana crop.
As far as baby chickens are concerned...
My #1 Concern with my Bear Ranch is...
things could get grizzly.
I’m concerned about next year...
I heard it’ll be 2020 too!
A man came in my tech repair shop complaining his nail had damaged his windows laptop and was concerned it wouldn't work anymore
I told him not to worry- he's only scratched the surface
Torque appropriated circumstances call for -in kind- repeat applied force when concerned with most of yer dried and salted pork products and jovial responses.
My boyfriend told me as I walked in “hey don’t be alarmed but the toilet is smoking”. Concerned, I walked into the bathroom and found this:
I'm concerned about getting trumped in this election.
Will glass coffins be a success?
I’m concerned after catching my son drinking brake fluid.
He says he can stop whenever he wants.
Got fired as an electrician over safety concerns
But I think their fears were ungrounded
The baker was concerned...
that her bread dough was not rising properly. But that was the yeast of her worries.
My friend was concerned his children weren't getting very far...
...which is why we built the larger trebuchet.
There is a lot of concern amongst the flat earth brigade with regards social distancing.
They’re worried it’s going to push people over the edge......
*stares with confusing concern*
Her: what?
Me: ... What IS that?!
Her: what's what?
Me: there's someone on the side of your face...
Her: "what? Oh god, where" proceeds to try to wipe face
Me: right there! .. oh, it's just your ear!
News broke today that due to salmonella concerns, there is a national recall on just about every type of onion in the united states...
To be honest, I'm not shedding any tears over it.
During her first pregnancy my wife was concerned with how much labor was going to hurt.
I told her don't worry about it, he came out of me first and it felt fine.
A wizard dad became concerned that whenever his son went to the bathroom, he wasn't giving himself privacy.
One day, the dad went to use the bathroom, thinking it was unused. There was a loud crash and he sighed, staring down at the scattered mess on the floor.
"Please, son," he said, "will you quit leaving the door a jar?"
I had concerned friends message me
Are you supposed to pull over for a funeral procession?
Of corpse, please come to a dead stop.
Do my dough puns make you cringe?
That's the yeast of my concerns
A women was getting petrol at a petrol station and spilt some on her arm.
She rubbed the petrol off and drove away. While on the road, she lit a cigarette and her arm caught on fire. Concerned, she started waving her arm out the side of the car.
Amongst all this, the police pulled her over. "What am I under arrest for?" The officer replied "for having a firearm"
You should wear your mask whenever you go to a cemetery in this pandemic.
Cemeteries have a lot of coffin.
Why weren't Mexicans too concerned about Trump's border wall?
They knew that they would eventually get over it.
I'm a turnip, turned down. Concerned, but I don't carrot all. I am what I yam. What am I?
I heard some crows communicating after one of their own was injured.
They were caws for concern.
It's ok to be concerned about this virus.
I mean even the Sun has 'corona-sphere'
I'm concerned people aren't staying in and taking the whole stay at home order seriously
Car dealerships have more cars in their lots than ever!
Before I became a dad, I was truly concerned that I wouldn't know how to be a good father
Thankfully, turns out it's in my blood. I come from a long line of Fathers.
Did you guys hear about AT&T and Verizon dropping out of an upcoming conference due to corona virus concerns?
It’s probably a good thing considering they’re both well-known carriers.
My buddy was concerned about his chicken crossing the road.
I said his concerns are poultry.
Neurologist said my brain was perfect!
He said it looked like it had never been used!
(True story, that. Meaning that he said it. I'm guessing it's something he enjoys saying to people who he doesn't have to give bad or concerning news to.)
Really excited to be going to this rock concert, I'd love to crowdsurf but I'm slightly concerned
I might get a bit carried away.
I signed up for my company’s 401k but I have one concern
I’m not sure I can run that far
Why was the new butt plug concerned about the used butt plug?
Because it had seen some shit.
There was an accident in the Paleontology section of a Natural History Museum where multiple dinosaur skeletons collapsed and were broken beyond repair. The directors of the museum were concerned that visitors wouldn't visit that section anymore ...
but visitors still showed up to view the
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
The doctor looked at me with a concerned look on his face and rasped, "Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards."
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