Commuting Puns

Don't worry. He eventually got into the swing of things.

My friend asked me what I was train...ing for

They ended up with Carpool Chunnel Syndrome.

But for some reason, whenever I bring out MC Escher’s art, I get weird stairs.

Boss: Hard drive?

Me: No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop.

He approached me after I had parked in my driveway and asked if I knew why he was writing me a ticket.

I told him I had no idea what I had done wrong.

He said that he followed me for my entire commute and not once did I get in an accident. He fined me for wreck-less driving.

It helps me get from Station to Station

Another case of Carpool Tunnel Syndrome

The cross roads

It takes a toll on everybody.

My fiancée asked the appraiser if he took the train into work and he said "no way, the train takes me. I'd have to eat a whole bunch of Wheaties before I could haul something that big."

He also had three daughters. A diamond dad joke.

He got caught up in a noose-paper.

We had a friend in town this weekend whose flight was this afternoon, so she was staying at the house for a while after my wife and I left for work. About halfway through my commute I was overtaken by a terrible sense of dread and panic that I forgotten to flush the toilet and our friend was going to come face to face with a semi-fresh dookie when she went to the restroom.

I was so mortified at this that I preemptively texted her to warn her and requested that she please, for both our sake's, flush the toilet prior to lifting the lid. We may never know whether I needed to send that text-- it was a real Schrodinger Scat situation.

This is sort of a TIFU, but I have no idea if I actually did and I'm not sure she would have the heart to tell me anyway.

A personal commuter

"What happens when the fog lifts in Los Angeles?" "U.C.L.A"

Needless to say, it made my morning commute.

I find it helps me get from Station to Station