A list of puns related to "Commutes"
But for some reason, whenever I bring out MC Escher’s art, I get weird stairs.
He approached me after I had parked in my driveway and asked if I knew why he was writing me a ticket.
I told him I had no idea what I had done wrong.
He said that he followed me for my entire commute and not once did I get in an accident. He fined me for wreck-less driving.
It helps me get from Station to Station
The cross roads
My fiancée asked the appraiser if he took the train into work and he said "no way, the train takes me. I'd have to eat a whole bunch of Wheaties before I could haul something that big."
He also had three daughters. A diamond dad joke.
They ended up with Carpool Chunnel Syndrome.
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop.
Don't worry. He eventually got into the swing of things.
My friend asked me what I was train...ing for
Another case of Carpool Tunnel Syndrome
It takes a toll on everybody.
He got caught up in a noose-paper.
We had a friend in town this weekend whose flight was this afternoon, so she was staying at the house for a while after my wife and I left for work. About halfway through my commute I was overtaken by a terrible sense of dread and panic that I forgotten to flush the toilet and our friend was going to come face to face with a semi-fresh dookie when she went to the restroom.
I was so mortified at this that I preemptively texted her to warn her and requested that she please, for both our sake's, flush the toilet prior to lifting the lid. We may never know whether I needed to send that text-- it was a real Schrodinger Scat situation.
This is sort of a TIFU, but I have no idea if I actually did and I'm not sure she would have the heart to tell me anyway.
"What happens when the fog lifts in Los Angeles?" "U.C.L.A"
Needless to say, it made my morning commute.
Though I'm graduated from college, my mother still kindly pays for my cell phone bill as I'm on her contract. I was complaining to her today about how many dropped calls I've had lately, and she suggested it might be an issue when I go through the hills.
Living in Pittsburgh... I can't help but go through hills all day long.
Me: "Maybe my cell phone service is a problem since I live & work & commute through hills."
Mom: "Yes, maybe it isn't compatible with your hill-billy lifestyle."
GROAN
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