....would all the othersfall in succession?
He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
They found him buried under Da Brie
Goes to show, you shouldn't take life for granite.
They had too many fake posts.
It was unstable
It was mine furor.
ducks and runs
sorrynotsorry
It finally succumbed to all the pier pressure.
He seems alright now, he’s coming around slowly
I think he's ok, as he's slowly coming round.
You could say his dreams were crushed
It was a portent.
He’s coming round slowly
Their Truss collapsed and they are grabbing their Johnson again.
there’s three main candidates in the running. first is joe biden, looking to keep the presidency; second is donald trump, looking to take back the presidency, and lastly is obama, wearing a sombrero and a mustache, going by the name… juan-bama. as the election results are tallied in, it’s apparent that it’s a perfect three-way tie in both the popular vote and the electoral college. the nation is in uproar, nobody can reach a decision as to how to choose the next president. but at last a solution comes forward: a literal presidential race. whoever can run the fastest lap around the white house—timed by a secret service member—will be sworn into office.
first up is donald trump. he boldly states “this will no doubt be the fastest lap around the white house, perhaps even the fastest lap run anywhere, ever,” but, not being in the best shape, he takes 18 minutes and 34 seconds.
next is joe biden. he doesn’t waste any breath for trash talk or boasting, he just readies himself at the starting line and—at the count—takes off. he’s running fast, really fast for someone of his age… at least for the first 5 minutes. but he forgets where he’s going, and finishes his lap as a leisurely walk around the grounds, taking 26 minutes and 49 seconds.
lastly is juanbama, who runs like hell around the white house. he’s running fast, faster than he’d ever run before. he completes his lap, collapsing across the finish line, and looks up desperately at the secret service member. “what was it?” he asks. “what was my time?”
the agent looks down at their stopwatch. “twelve oh-three.”
juanbama looks at them in disbelief. “well,” he sputters, “that’s got to be some sort of record!”
the secret service member shakes their head. “no, actually. bush did nine eleven.”
Apparently it didn't have good foundation.
There was no concrete evidence to arrest him over
I recently made all the English counties out of clay. . . . . . . . .
Most of them collapsed but somerset
The bird den of proof fell on him, after all
I took it as a sign from above.
He made bank.
I do not want to let that sink in.
Apparently, nobody was interested in buying ‘Shatner Panties’.
So my wife took our pet bearded dragon to the vet. When she walked in, I asked her:
"So what did the vet say? Does the lizard have A Reptile Disfunction?"
I collapsed in gales if laughter at my own humor (as I often do). Wife groaned and regretted her life choices.
So there was this conductor who was part of a bus route that went through silk board every morning. So one day he sees this guy running towards the bus screaming at the conductor to stop the bus but the conductor doesn't feel like it, and the guy slips while running, is hit by a car and dies.
As a punishment for his sin, a bolt of lightning hits the conductor but he escapes unscathed.
A week later he sees another guy run towards the same bus and because of his remorse stops the bus, so that another accident doesn't occur. The guy gets on but soon collapses due to a heart attack and dies. Due to a mix up in hell, a bolt of lightning strikes the conductor again and this time he dies instantaneously.
How is this possible?
It's cause he was a bad conductor the first time, and a good conductor the second time.
Rubble duckies
Me: He's Saul Goodman
Guess you could call that the work of Natural Selection!
Medics at the scene have said " they are coming round slowly "
Thankfully, it only caused minor injuries.
The ones that were down under.
After math.
The big moron. The other one was a little more on.
Don't worry there are only minor injuries.
They were Stalin.
Camel: Can I get a straw? Bartender: Sure. Here you go.. Me: Can I get a straw? Bartender: Sorry, that was the last straw.
Camel collapses
It turns out 0% of people find it funny when their tent collapses
but visitors still showed up to view the
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
Because it’s so stable.
I trussed you.
There were red flags everywhere
It experienced pier pressure.
