Coffee Maker Puns

"But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now!"

I was halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car.

"Where's all the coffee?"

Coffee pot replies, "We were mugged."

That’s the last time I have a dark roast.

My wife says this is grounds for divorce...

It was a ground-breaking development.

The beans are ground.

"These are grounds for dismissal."

Recently we got a Keurig in the house, after 20 minutes and one frozen touch screen later I uttered the phrase this thing must run on Java.

It took me a second after hearing the groans.

I'd save the coffee maker, but I'm not sure it would be worth the whisk.

So today as I was making my morning coffee, I fill up my little K cup thing with my coffee and walk over to the coffee maker to put it in and I spill it all over the floor. I start cleaning it up when my dad walks in and chuckles. I say "What?" And he replies "Hehe, coffee GROUNDS". We had a good laugh.

Coffee used to be made in a coffee pot. Now, everyone uses a drip coffee maker, but they still call the container a pot. It doesn't get put on a fire to make the coffee perk, so it isn't a coffee pot. It is a carafe.

You have a carafe of coffee. You pour the coffee out of the carafe into a cup. It is now decarafinated coffee.

I am a dad, and I approve this message!

"Yeah…" she replied. "But I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now…"

After a twenty second pause, I asked, "You still there sweetheart?"

"Yeah," she replied, "…but I don't think the coffee maker wants to talk right now…"

Coffee pot: I was mugged!

Said the coffee maker to the coffee beans