Cocktails Puns

A list of puns related to "Cocktails"

Cocktail Bar

A woman walks into a cocktail bar and asked for a double entendre - so the barman gave her one.

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👤︎ u/CoolPaul75
📅︎ Nov 19 2020
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We had an arsonist throw Molotov cocktails at driveways, sheds, and cars parked all around our neighborhood.

It really hit close to home.

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👤︎ u/theRiverknows86
📅︎ Oct 10 2020
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My date was really excited when I invited her over for cocktails, but she left extremely disappointed.

She didn’t want to hear stories about my rooster.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ May 26 2020
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Here about the prisoner who makes good cocktails? He's behind bars now!
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👤︎ u/Wrong-Flamingo
📅︎ Dec 22 2019
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What do you call a tropical cocktail that gets into a car accident?

Pina Collide-a

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👤︎ u/lol_camis
📅︎ Dec 29 2019
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Did you hear about the shrimp that went to the prawn’s cocktail party?

He pulled a mussel.

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👤︎ u/CYBERSson
📅︎ Nov 27 2019
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A very elderly gentleman, mid ninety's, very well dressed, hair well groomed, great suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a good aftershave, presenting a well looked after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge…

Seated at the bar is an elderly lady, mid eighties.

The gentleman walks over, sits along side of her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
📅︎ Oct 05 2019
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What sort of cocktail does an attorney drink?

Subpoeña coladas

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👤︎ u/Saltycook
📅︎ Jun 29 2019
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What's a cat's favorite cocktail?

A meowjito

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👤︎ u/89iroc
📅︎ May 08 2019
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Why were the cannibals disappointed when they went to a cocktail party?

They were told there would be finger food.

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👤︎ u/Anthonybrose
📅︎ Jul 26 2019
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Cheesy pizza puns needed for pizza shop with hidden cocktail bar out the back imgur.com/aROdppY
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👤︎ u/Naturalyogurt
📅︎ May 22 2018
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My friend once told me, “If I wasn’t making cocktails for a living, I’d be in jail.”

Currently he’s behind bars.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Feb 01 2019
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Flash Cocktail Combination v.redd.it/ukelnjhc8yd01
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👤︎ u/Mr-Klaus
📅︎ Feb 03 2018
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What did the cocktail say to the glass of whisky?

You're neat.

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👤︎ u/reddit_chaos
📅︎ Feb 15 2018
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Harper Lee apparently wrote a guide for cocktail mixing.

Tequila Mockingbird

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👤︎ u/xujuk
📅︎ Oct 26 2017
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Dracula is walking down a street in Transylvania when suddenly tons of sandwiches, mini sausage rolls, crisps, chicken wings and cocktail sausages fall on him...

Buried under all this food, his dying words were, "Oh no, it's Buffet the Vampire Slayer!"

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ Oct 13 2017
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GF and I were watching TV and the show is advertising cocktails that taste of pizza.

I turned to my GF and asked her if the cocktails were ‘Margaritas’. She, of course, was not impressed.

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👤︎ u/bhavs
📅︎ Feb 05 2018
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My wife and I went on a date to a fancy cocktail bar. She ordered a drink with cardamom in it...

"What's cardamom?" she asked.

"That's what they did to you at the door," I said.

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👤︎ u/a_kosher_vet
📅︎ May 02 2017
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What is a shark’s favorite cocktail?

Beach schnapps.

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👤︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
📅︎ Jan 29 2017
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Some good literature on cocktail recipes. imgur.com/pDA0MXh
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👤︎ u/ch00f
📅︎ Mar 06 2014
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What cocktail should you drink with a friend?

A Buddy Mary

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👤︎ u/MackRob13
📅︎ Nov 16 2015
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overheard at a cocktail party

Dad: and this is my friend Sharon

Karen: my name is Sharon, it's Karen

Dad: last time I checked, Sharon is Karen

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👤︎ u/vamonos_pest
📅︎ Apr 18 2015
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