Black, with grey rubber buttons.
You jacket
A dog!
I told them it’s faux real.
Really hope someone didn’t jacket
His dad looked himself up and down and sternly and confidently replied
"I'm wearing a shirt, son."
True story, my soul left my body.
This thing goes all the way to the top.
or sew it's seams....
I’m in tiers
At least I’m baked.
But there's no punchline.
That was the last time Cruella De Vil worked in a laboratory.
She told me, “Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace".
So I got her nothing.
Because it's a coat.
One cold winter's morning he was walking along a country road, when he heard a cry for help from a nearby lake.
He turned to see a little girl struggling in the broken ice in the middle of the lake. She'd been skating and had fallen into the icy water. Without a moment's hesitation the tramp ran onto the ice and slipped and slided over to the little girl. He managed to pull her out without breaking the ice further and he carried her back to the road.
He took off his coat and wrapped the little girl in it and began looking for a car to flag down. A few moments later a huge chauffeur-driven limo pulled up, and who stepped out but the little girl's father - the mayor of the nearby town and a multi-millionaire.
"How can I ever thank you sir?" says the father after putting his daughterinto the warmth of the limo.
"Just name your price - I'm a wealthy man."
"Ahem, well ..." stammered the tramp "...eh I'm a little short of cash, perhaps you could help me out"
"Certainly" says the girl's father and he pulls out his wallet.
"Oh dear" says the father, "I don't carry much cash with me, I only have ten dollars - but come home with me and I'll get more from the safe"
"No! No!" says the tramp, "Why ten dollars is more money than I've seen in my whole life - that will be plenty".
"Well, if you insist" says the father - "now what will you do with your money?"
"Oh that's easy" says the tramp "I've not had a rest in 20 years. I think I'll buy myself a holiday"
"Well good luck" says the father, and he gets into the car and signals his chauffeur to drive home.
"Ten Dollars" thinks the tramp, "I'm rich! I'm rich!", and off he goes to the town, to buy himself a holiday.
He finds a travel agent, walks in - much to the disgust of the staff - and goes up to the desk.
"I'll have one holiday please!"
"Ahem, which holiday would sir like" asked the girl at the desk, forcing a smile.
"Oh, any holiday I don't mind" replied the tramp.
"Well how much money does sir have to spend on sir's holiday?"
"Oh lots - anything up to ten dollars"
"TEN DOLLARS!! You'll never get a holiday for ten dollars" says the girl incredulously.
"Oh dear" said the tramp, "and I was so looking forward to a holiday - I'll probably never get another chance - isn't there anything you can do?"
"Well I don't think so sir, but hold on and I'll check"
The girl goes into the back of the shop, and searches in the deepest, dustiest filing drawers she can find. There - to her amazement -
... keep reading on reddit ➡The painter in Alaska has to put on another coat
You might say he japanned his china.
He’s got Anoraknophobia
One morning, his first mate woke him.
“Captain, the ship won’t move! The ocean is frozen solid!”
The pirate captain rose from his bed, yawned, and stretched. After a good scratch, he put on his boots and coat, and strode out of his quarters.
As he arrived at the bow of the ship, his men gathered around in nervous anticipation. He pulled out his pocket telescope and took a good, long look around the entire horizon. He collapsed his telescope, placed it back in his pocket, and clasped his hands behind his back. After some time, he tipped his head down toward his first mate and said:
“Ice sea.”
So I used stevia instead.
In the Clause-it
A farm kid who works for his folks on the family farm during breaks from college walks into a bar and gets a seat next to a well to do looking woman in a white lab coat. "Hello there," he greets her in a friendly manner as he orders a beer. "That's a neat looking coat. Are you a doctor or something?" "I'm a druggist at the local apothecary," she says. "Oh, wow!" the young man says. "You and I have basically the same jobs!" "I hardly think so," she replies looking the young kid over. "Sure we do," he continues. "You're a pharmacist, and I'm a farm assist!"
Ad-dress
Or maybe it can put on a couple paint coats when it gets colder
Alpaca coat, love.
She looks totally wicket in it.
A brooch and clear
My brother: Jeez, How many coats do you need? I'm sure the table is warm enough already!
A tromboner
I'll get me coat.
So I had to jacket.
It’s been reported that he could have done with another coat.
Fur protection.
Black, with grey rubber buttons.
A coat of paint
