Do you know how coal turns into diamonds?

It coalapses underpressure!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sudden_Ad220
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did Capitan Nemo get coal for Christmas?

He was on the Nautilus

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mpschmidtlein
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
🚨︎ report
There was an accident at the coal mine

Nothing too serious, just some miner damage

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strawbalicious
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I stopped walking on coal to limit my carbon footprint
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dutch_Midget
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
When I Was A Child Santa Gave Me Coal One Year For Christmas, So I Poisoned His Cookies And Milk

Somehow he found out and killed my dad!

πŸ‘︎ 130
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Champyman714
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the baby coal that went missing?

They sent out an ember alert

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/colt_duppen
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the coal miner eat his lantern?

He wanted a light snack.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRockingDead
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
In the early 1900's, a number of protests arose because of employment of children in coal mines.

I suppose you could say the owners had a minor minor miner problem.

πŸ‘︎ 122
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πŸ‘€︎ u/poison_us
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the coal mining startup that used child labor? Thankfully they caught it early.

So it was only a minor minor miner issue.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shargus_live
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know why I was sent to the coal mines as a child?

Because I was a minor.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."

"Until the pressure got to him."

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard Santa was handing out matches instead of coal this year

Because they’re a little lighter.....

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/archrival33
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What was the coal-miner’s excuse to his boss?

β€œI didn’t have time to do my laundry last night, so my soot is dirty!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mirrortoremind
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone got the coal-ed shoulder.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
As an introverted entrepreneur in the coal industry...

I mined my own business.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/coolidiot2000
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do you have to wear a jacket when you go to a coal mine?

Because it is coal inside

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rlmflores
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the coal mine that collapsed?

Don't worry there are only minor injuries.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Exonated
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the song about the kid in the coal mine

It was about a minor miner in f minor

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/casecracker108
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I went out with a coal miner's daughter. I guess you could say I was carbon dated.
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NewGamerOK
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
I finally figured out why Trump loves coal

He's obsessed with miners!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/guywithbeard
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Even though my collection of shale, sandstone, limestone and coal isn't worth a whole lot...

it has a lot of sedimental value to me.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Why were the children sent to the coal mines?

Because they were minors.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mishishi_Kiseki
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to work in HR in the coal industry, but I quit.

I got tired keeping up with the miner details.

πŸ‘︎ 37
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I quit my job working in HR at a coal company.

I got sick of all the miner details.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What craft does a coal miner take?

Minecraft

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ash_Holes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Zen master that walked across the fiery coals?

He had Flaming Hot Chi-toes.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jebjum
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
🚨︎ report
We all know Murphy’s Law means anything that can go wrong will, but what about Coal’s Law?

Thinly sliced cabbage.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/downonthestreet
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2018
🚨︎ report
A piano fell on a coal miner

Now you have A Flat Minor.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IndiaVenom
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Every time I grill I get raked over the coals by my family. Apparently brat jokes are the wurst.
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wiseshanks
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
🚨︎ report
A coal mine needed a bigger market, so they

Set up a coalcenter

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tychog99
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
🚨︎ report
"HOT COALS ONLY"

That's so cooaall!

Boyfriend threw this at me. I was so proud.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sigharewedoneyet
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2017
🚨︎ report
A feminist coal mine walk into a German bar

Bartender says, ''Entschuldigung, Hier kann das Bergwerk nicht trinken!'' The mine angrily asks, "Did you just assume my gender!!?'' Then the Bartender replies, "Nein, I just assume mine."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ATM1234
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2017
🚨︎ report
My dad and I by our coal stove

Me: (taking a look at the thermometer on our stove)

Dad: What are you looking at?

Me: This thermometer for the stove. Its so old, does it still work?

Dad: Yeah, to a degree.

Needless to say, hysterical laughter ensued.

πŸ‘︎ 88
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SyracuseOrange12
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2014
🚨︎ report
As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."

"Until the pressure got to him."

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."

"Until the pressure got to him."

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
As an introverted entrepreneur in the coal industry...

I mined my own business.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DirkDiggler6
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal...

...until the pressure got to him...

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report

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