Clapped Puns

A list of puns related to "Clapped"

I was watching an Australian cooking show, and the audience clapped when the chef made meringue

I was quite surprised, as Australians normally boo meringue.

Originally posted by u/knowthe_numbers

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👤︎ u/_methematician
📅︎ Aug 26 2020
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Why can't dinosaurs clap.

Cause they're dead.

👍︎ 296
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👤︎ u/neo-1000
📅︎ Sep 15 2020
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I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds.

Poor bastard.

👍︎ 12k
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👤︎ u/SmartassBrickmelter
📅︎ Dec 18 2020
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Why can’t dinosaurs clap?

They’re dead.

👍︎ 11
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👤︎ u/kloodge
📅︎ Sep 25 2020
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I really struggled with 2020 all year. Sadly, at the end of it...

2021

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👤︎ u/Gameronomist
📅︎ Dec 31 2020
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I made the Judge laugh so hard

I was guilty of Mans laughter.

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👤︎ u/Derkix5
📅︎ Jan 15 2021
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I gots two words that will leave you all scratching your heads.

Head lice.

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👤︎ u/gbredman
📅︎ Dec 15 2020
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Most people think that T-Rexes can't clap because they have short arms

But it's actually because they're dead

👍︎ 242
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👤︎ u/OtherwiseKnownAsSam
📅︎ Jan 24 2020
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Why cant a T-rex clap with his hands?

Coz they're extinct.

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👤︎ u/__teju
📅︎ May 01 2020
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My 9 year old wanted me to post her joke here!

What does it mean when you find horseshoes? It means a horse is walking round in its socks!

I am so proud of her! Edit: wording.

👍︎ 15k
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👤︎ u/Valenshyne
📅︎ Jul 27 2020
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A lot of people accuse me of plagiarism.

But those are their words, not mine.

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👤︎ u/Theunkillable
📅︎ Nov 13 2020
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What do you call Bill Clinton's VP programmatically tapping his foot and clapping his hands?

Algorithm

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👤︎ u/hamhamhammyham
📅︎ May 02 2020
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I can’t believe people are still making “Friends” references 15 years after the show ended.

No one told me life was gonna be this way.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Nov 13 2020
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Why couldn’t the T rex clap his hands?

He’s dead

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👤︎ u/pickledust465
📅︎ May 07 2020
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In Africa, every 60 seconds…

A minute passes

👍︎ 11
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👤︎ u/Totally_Generic_Name
📅︎ Dec 19 2020
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Why can’t T-Rexes clap their hands?

Cause they’re extinct.

👍︎ 5k
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👤︎ u/Lil-Failure
📅︎ Jul 04 2018
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Why can't dinosaurs clap

Because they went extinct

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👤︎ u/Memes_Smell_Fun
📅︎ Feb 06 2020
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Dry Erase Board

are truly remarkable.

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👤︎ u/MosesActual
📅︎ Jan 09 2021
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Why did I stop eating German sausages?

They are are the würst

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👤︎ u/MaybeNotYourDad
📅︎ Dec 04 2020
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Does anyone remember the joke I posted about the chiropractor?

It was about a weak back.

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👤︎ u/viky_boy
📅︎ Oct 30 2020
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Bill Gates is clapping slowly.
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👤︎ u/stephansbrick
📅︎ Dec 08 2019
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How come the Hulk doesn’t lose his pants when he transforms?

The scientific experiments altered his jeans

👍︎ 13k
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👤︎ u/Bueno117
📅︎ May 22 2020
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I came out to my Car this morning, and it was completely covered in fallen leaves..

..you could call it an Autumnobile now !

👍︎ 194
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👤︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
📅︎ Oct 01 2020
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When you have a clap light in your bedroom

rough sex also becomes a rave...

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👤︎ u/ice2257
📅︎ Feb 28 2020
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What's the only STD Zeus can get?

The thunder clap.

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👤︎ u/Itsabeanburrito
📅︎ Jan 19 2021
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My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”

I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”

👍︎ 9k
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ May 22 2020
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Dad to Son: "Have you heard about the new online game that's just been released that's heaps popular and getting a lot of press?

Son: "What's it called?"

Dad: "Month."

Son: "Huh?"

Dad: "Apparently it's twice as good as Fortnite".

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👤︎ u/Sando75
📅︎ Sep 28 2020
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What is the downside to eating a clock?

It's time consuming.

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👤︎ u/mcc98
📅︎ Oct 12 2020
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A group of butts is walking. The smallest struggles to keep up.

“Sorry, I’m a little behind.”

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👤︎ u/the_houser
📅︎ Nov 08 2020
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Why can't cavemen clap?

Because they're extinct.

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👤︎ u/phillydog1
📅︎ Nov 10 2019
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Why cant you hear a T-rex clap?

Because its dead

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👤︎ u/fl1ppp3rs
📅︎ Aug 23 2019
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If you think Thursdays are depressing, wait two days.

It will be a sadder day.

👍︎ 16k
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👤︎ u/mistermajik2000
📅︎ Mar 05 2020
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I'm sorry, but I'm extremely proud of this one, and nobody in the chat found it funny =(
👍︎ 4k
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👤︎ u/ennis88
📅︎ Jan 14 2020
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A man is walking home alone late one foggy night, when behind him he hears:

Bump…

Bump…

Bump…

Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.

Bump…

Bump…

BUMP…

Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home. The casket still bouncing quickly behind him.

Faster…

Faster…

FASTER…

Bump…

Bump…

BUMP…

He runs up to his door, fumbles with the keys, opens the door, rushes in and slams and locks the door behind him.

Rushing up the stairs to his bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding. His head is reeling. His breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door. Bumping and clapping towards him.

The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is cough syrup!

Desperate, he throws the cough syrup as the casket!

And…

The coffin stops….

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👤︎ u/ParadoxXSchock
📅︎ Nov 18 2020
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Why can't a dinosaur clap?

Because it's dead.

👍︎ 13
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👤︎ u/Uiltje16
📅︎ Nov 02 2020
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Why can't non-avian dinosaurs clap?

they are dead.

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👤︎ u/kloodge
📅︎ Sep 25 2020
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Why can't t-rex clap?

Cause they're dead

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👤︎ u/KyotoKyoto2525
📅︎ Aug 06 2020
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Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Because they're dead!

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👤︎ u/dmMatrix
📅︎ Mar 06 2020
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I can’t believe that even after 15 years, I would still hear people making “Friends” references.

No one told me life was gonna be this way.

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👤︎ u/habsfan1112
📅︎ Oct 11 2020
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I was watching an Australian cooking show the other day

Every time the chef made a meringue, the audience clapped. I was confused. I always thought Australians boo meringue.

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👤︎ u/kriskidd21
📅︎ Oct 27 2020
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Why can’t dinosaurs clap?

Cause they’re dead

👍︎ 26
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👤︎ u/PainsHurtfulTickles
📅︎ Aug 10 2019
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Most people think that t-rexes can’t clap because they have short arms

But really, it’s because they are dead

👍︎ 48
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👤︎ u/lukiamyourfather
📅︎ Aug 24 2019
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Why can’t dinosaurs clap?

Cause they’re dead

👍︎ 40
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👤︎ u/CabbieTheSavie
📅︎ May 16 2019
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Why can't the T-rex clap?

Because it's dead.

👍︎ 1k
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👤︎ u/LiquidZeroEA
📅︎ Oct 31 2017
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Why can’t a T-Rex clap?

Because it’s extinct.

👍︎ 22
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👤︎ u/boldlywingedfire
📅︎ Jun 13 2019
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I was watching an Australian cooking show ...

... and the audience clapped when the chef made meringue.

I was shocked when I found out that Australians usually boo meringue.

👍︎ 171
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👤︎ u/deerollz
📅︎ Aug 01 2020
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Why can't T-Rex's clap their hands?

Because they're extinct.

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👤︎ u/CableDolt
📅︎ Nov 19 2019
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Why can't T-Rexes clap?

Because they are extinct.

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👤︎ u/ousscar
📅︎ Jun 28 2019
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Why can’t dinosaurs clap?

Because they’re dead

👍︎ 11
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👤︎ u/Sausage-Neck
📅︎ Jun 11 2019
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Why couldn’t the T-Rex clap his hands?

Because he was dead

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/TakenByKangAndKodos
📅︎ Sep 30 2019
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