When I was in college, all the fraternities rejected me because I was circumcised.

You had to be a complete dick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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As a circumcised man, I would highly recommend to not circumcise your son.

I was circumcised just after I was born, and I couldn’t walk for about a year.

πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tutmencrut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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Why do Jewish men get circumcised?

Because no Jewish woman will touch anything that isn’t twenty percent off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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I know a kid who was born without eyelids. His parents decided to have him circumcised and used his foreskin as a skin graft for his eyelids. The surgery went really well....

.... although afterwards he was a bit cockeyed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diceberg
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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Circumcised people get their foreskin....

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/harsHIT_bHARDwaj
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2019
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I'm getting my newborn son circumcised and the pediatrician said it was going to cost $167.

I told them "I hope that includes the tip."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/engineeringguy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2016
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Where did Batman's nemesis go to get circumcised?

Brisbane

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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I'm not circumcised as I cum from the hood
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elephantbeepbeeps
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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In college, I couldn’t join any fraternity because I was circumcised.

Apparently you had to be a complete dick.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2019
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I tried to convert to Judaism, but I was rejected because I’m not circumcised.

I guess I didn’t make the cut.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
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I just got my rabbit circumcised.

Or was it my hair cut...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kovehshteeble
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2017
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While I may be circumcised, at least I still have my forehead skin.
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2015
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Taking my newborn son in to get circumcised today.

Is it customary to leave a tip?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrlongmire
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2015
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Why are all Jewish men circumcised?

because jewish women only like things that are 20% off

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xReptarXx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2014
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Circumcision Puns Aren't Funny

My wife gave birth to our first son on Friday. This morning they came to get him for his circumscion and we were feeding him a bottle. The nurse said we were going to have to cut it short. I said ok, but not too short. And nobody laughed. They looked at me like an idiot. Hopefully the internet will appreciate this.

EDIT: Didn't expect this to garner so much attention, but I guess it deserves some elaboration. Yes, this actually happened and we had our son circumcised. Everything went well without any complications. I made this decision with my wife based on hygienic, traditional, and aesthetic reasons, and I am confident in my decision. I am circumcised, and I'm happy with it.

There are times in my son's life that i will need to make decisions for him, and this was one of those times. I understand that some people think I have committed a terrible crime against my son, but I disagree. There are many arguments for both sides, and I think these decisions should be made by family and doctors when the bridge comes to be crossed.

I'm not going to go through and answer all of the questions and insults individually, I have a newborn to take care off, but y'all feel free to hash it out.

Also, I still think my joke was pretty damn funny.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oemus2776
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2018
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What’s the oldest age someone could get a circumcision?

I just want to know the cutoff date.

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
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I phoned the clinic enquiring about a circumcision.

I got cut off.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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My friend worked at the zoo to circumcise elephants, the pay was bad but...

The tips were huge

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MoreTITS
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrimeAndGlory
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2021
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Want to hear a circumcision joke?

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 262
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Sheev
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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How do you pay someone that is giving you a circumcision?

Tell em’ to keep the tip.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wonkagloop
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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How many skin divers does it take to circumcise a whale?

4

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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People say circumcision doesn’t hurt, but i have to disagree.

I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn’t walk for nearly a year. So check your facts.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UriahPeabody
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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I asked the mods whether I could post a joke about circumcision on this sub.

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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My friend is a medical professional who does circumcisions for a living.

He doesn't get paid much, but at least he gets to keep all the tips.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rajdhagat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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I used to know a guy who did circumcision [NSFW]

The money wasn't great, but he got to keep the tips

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marajyub
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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What do u call an expensive circumcision

A rip-off

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThickCactus85
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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My circumcision was really hard on me...

I couldn't walk for a year afterward.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/noblechimp84
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
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My synagogue is famous for how little the mohel charges for a circumcision.

He just works for tips.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brewer1056
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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I once new a guy that used to do circumcisions

He told me, β€œThe money isn’t great, but I get to keep the tips”

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jarl_draven
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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Disneyworld is like circumcision.

a rite of passage best enjoyed by the young, and generally not worth repeating.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beingtwiceasnice
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2020
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Did you hear about the blind circumciser?

He got the sack

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DaleH92
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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Did you hear what happened to the blind circumcision doctor?

He got the sack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/perp96
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
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Considering getting my circumcision reversed.

Anyone have any tips?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iamironmankevin
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
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You know what a German doctor shouts after a circumcision?

Off wienerskin!

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lolrly123
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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What's the oldest age someone could get a circumcision ?

I just need to know the cut-off date.

πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip-off!

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chrisj1616
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
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How do you circumcise a whale?

Send down 4 skin divers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/waffel-daddy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I wanted to make a joke about circumcision

But I kind of cut myself off

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_GUAPO__KB312
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RazorDecoy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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How do you circumcise a wale?

Send four skin divers.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdamTheBadger
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
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What Do You Call A Cheap Circumcision?

A Rip-Off

πŸ‘︎ 322
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zniper746
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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What do you call a cheap circumcision

A rip off

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D3rpyD0lphin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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What do you call a cheap circumcision A rip-off.
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gdrhvddfh
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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What do you call a cheap circumcision?

a rip-off

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seegerts86
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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How do you circumcise a whale?

With four skin divers.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kaboomboomer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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What do you call a cheap circumcision

A rip-off

πŸ‘︎ 58
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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I circumcise elephants for a living.

It doesn’t pay much but the tips are huge.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zortor
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2019
🚨︎ report

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