What do you call a Christmas decoration made out off $100 bills?

Aretha Franklins

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πŸ‘€︎ u/leobloom23
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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I got a sore throat after eating some Christmas decorations.

I had to get my tinsels taken out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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364 days until Christmas and people ALREADY have their decorations up. /r/oneliners/comments/eg1…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wiedmaier
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
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so for Christmas I decided to hang a decoration that shows both my love for music and for our founding fathers

It’s a wreath of Franklin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/metalsgt90
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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What happens when you eat Christmas decorations?

You get tinsel-itis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drozzi007
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
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I always put up decorations for christmas

Even though they never pay rent

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pndaberrybruh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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You know, son, Christmas isn't about the presents and the decorations and stuff.

It's about the food.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iHyperVenom_YT
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
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In a cafe, I just saw a dad walk up to a girl on a ladder taking down Christmas decorations.

Are you supposed to be working when you're high?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Muskwatch
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2018
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Got my mum when we were putting up Christmas decorations

Me: I really like the nativity scene.

Mum: yeah? It's nice

Me: I have a crèche on it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajd011394
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2016
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So were putting away christmas decorations...

Im on a ladder putting away boxes and as my dad hands me a box, I ask them if it's heavy.

He replies,

No there lights.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlazeDozer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2015
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My sister tried showing my dad a picture of her Christmas decorations

His response: Carol, stop! I dont need the nativity in my life

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Two34five
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2016
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They said I had to contribute to the Christmas decorations...

I made a Christmas Crackern!

http://imgur.com/a/vrfzs

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jand2013
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2015
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Getting down the Christmas Decorations..

So my Pops asks if I could help him get the Christmas "stuff" down from the loft with him. We have a loft above the garage where we store seasonal decorations.

He'll go up in the loft and I'll stand on the middle of the ladder, where he hands me the plastic containers, which I'll place on the floor.

As soon as he gets up there I see that the most accessible and logical box to take down first is the one with the wrapping paper. I reach for it and he shoos me away coming up with an excuse to leave it up there for the time being.

Right then and there I knew exactly what he was doing and I couldn't stop it.

We get the absurd amount of containers down until there's only the one left. He hands it too me and says, "Whelp.. that about wraps it up. Haha."

It's not even that good and I knew it was coming for the whole half-hour, but never the less I rolled my eyes and gave him his moment of glory. He deserves it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wh33zi3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2013
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What do you call a Christmas decoration made of $100 bills that can play R&B hits?

Aretha Franklins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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What do you get if you eat christmas decorations?

Tinselitis!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sparkleworks
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2017
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What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

Tinselitis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/harrywhoover
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2016
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