Cake Day Clock Jokes

My book about clocks just come in the mail. It's about time.

6:30 is the best time, hands down.

What is the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth hurtie.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence.

How do you know is a clock is hungry? It goes back four seconds.

Why did the child throw the clock out of the window? He wanted to see time fly.

What is a belt made of clocks called? A waist of time.

Why should you never eat a clock? It is far too time-consuming.

One clock was reading a clocks biography, a written work about a persons life not written by them. It was second hand information.

What kind of candy is never on time? Choco-late.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mrman1575
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2022
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My cocoa didn't arrive on time

It was choco late

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dondegroovily
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2022
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Did you hear about the cocoa bean that was never on time?

He was choco late

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2022
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Hey guys.. its never too late for..

ChocoLATE

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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What type of candy is always late?

A choco-late

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theredditman111
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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No kids yet, but I have the dad joke thing down.

My fiancee and I just found out there is asbestos in our apartment. My mom texted me and asked how I was doing after she found out. I texted back "were doing asbestos we can."

drops mic exits stage left

Edit: corrected spelling of fiancee because I am a heterosexual male.

Edit: holy shit this thread is spreading like cancer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mintty92
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2015
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Why can't you invite cocoa to a dinner?

Because it's always choco-late

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zera_93
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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Why wasn’t the candy at the party yet?

It was chocoLATE

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MagPie9992
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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How is it called when your cocoa expires?

Choco late

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yetanothersmile
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2018
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3 4 5

Context:

  • I currently live and study in the Philippines

  • One Philippine Peso (β‚±) is approximately 1/40 a dollar. Go check the conversion ratio if you doubt.

  • A single stick of this choco wafer stick right here (called Stick-O) usually costs at about β‚±1

  • I study in a college where student organizations are prevalent and their means of collecting funds is by Fund Raising Activity, i.e., selling consumables to students (usually food at exorbitant retail prices)


Every single time when I see an organization member doing his/her FRA selling Stick-O's, I ask...

Me: How much is that?

FRA: Three for five.

Me: β‚±3 for 5 pieces?

They chuckle in shame. They then correct me:

FRA: No, 3 pieces for β‚±5 pesos

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πŸ‘€︎ u/francis_0000a
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2014
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What kind of candy is never on time?

ChocoLATE

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im-ACE-incarnate
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2021
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What candy can't get anywhere on time?

Choco-late

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jkw1980
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2017
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