Challenger 2 Puns

"The opposite of right!"

I conduit

There was a race horse named Pat, who was one of the greatest race horses to ever live. He set records that were near impossible to beat. After a long time of racing, he retired to an old stable with some old friends. They were very happy that he retired there to stay with him, and congratulated him on all of his records that he set.

Once Pat retired, he started keeping track of all the up and coming horses that were winning a lot. There was a race horse named Charlie that was doing really great and winning all his races. Pat saw this horse and watched him race. Charlie started to break all of Pat’s records and Pat was a little upset with this.

After a while, Charlie decided to retire after an extremely successful career in racing. By chance, Charlie decided to retire at the same stable that Pat retired in. When Charlie entered the stable, everyone went up to him to congratulate him on his records and wins. Pat went up to Charlie and said, “Hey Charlie congratulations on all of your wins! You broke a lot of my records and I was very impressed.” Charlie responds, “go away old man, I’m better than you ever were.” Pat was blown away by his response. He galloped away from Charlie with defeat.

After a while of thinking, Pat decides to challenge Charlie to a race. Charlie agreed to it and wanted to race right away. He said “We will race to the tree over there and turn around and come back and whoever gets there first will be the winner.” Pat was still healthy but he needed a few weeks to get his legs back into shape for the race. Charlie gives Pat 2 weeks to get ready.

After 2 weeks pass, they are ready to race. “Hey Pat, before we race I want to warn you that I win my races by passing them by the end. So don’t get all cocky and think you are going to win.” Charlie says. Pat thanks him for the warning and they start getting set to race.

The gun sounds and they are off to race. Pat starts out in front, and nears the finish. Out of know where, Charlie zooms ahead of Pat and wins the race.

Pat was very disappointed in his loss, but congratulated Charlie anyways. A dog comes up to them and says, “Wow, that was a fantastic race! Neither of you should be upset with that. You both were so great!” Charlie looks to Pat and Pat looks to Charlie. They are astonished. Charlie says, “Say that again! Say it again!” The dog says a little confused, “Well I just said that you both were so great out there.” Pat says, “Charlie! It’s a talking dog!”

20 Was in the lead "24 the win!" The crowd shouted. Sadly 30 challenged him and 31. But they realized it was a tie! Because 0, 1, 2! And they all 8 together, The end.

Alright, I am the manager at a new vr place in our mall- and we have a wonderful foosball table that people can come in and play free. Three teenage boys come in and challenge me to a game of 2 vs. 2. As I am destroying them, with the boy next to me mostly texting, one stops and looks at me after getting his first point on our team and says "This is getting intense." I nod and look around confused, then say "Uh.. I think you are confused, we are indoors-- not in-tents."

Lets just say i was pretty proud of myself today.

Hey there /r/Puns! I'm working on a pop-culture table-top card game similar to Story Wars for me and my friends, and am trying to think of a punny name for the title! The current name is Crossover Mania, but we can all agree that that's terrible, so please help me out!

The game will be mostly battles/challenges between 2 characters, and the game will include characters, items, locations from comics, movies, anime, cartoons, games, etc.

I'm also going to be using some puns for certain cards' flavor texts, such as for Spider-Man: Fun Fact: He has a bit of a web addiction.

My brother and I were at a Spartan race this morning. After the race, we went to the festival area to check out the booths. One of them was a boot camp advertising with a 60 second challenge to win bragging rights. We weren't interested so we kept walking, but they hollered at us.

Girl 1: C'mon, it's only 60 seconds!

Girl 2: What's 60 seconds anyway?

Me: It's one minute!

They left us alone after that...