What do Catholics and Klingons have in common?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 08 2021
If two melons are Catholic...
Does that mean they canβt elope (cantaloupe)?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 14 2021
Catholic priests were forbidden from learning math until the 20th century
Before that it was a cardinal Sin
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 12 2021
What do you call a Catholic Sister who's an expert in stealth and martial arts?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 03 2021
I fell asleep during Catholic mass.
I'm a Bored Again Christian.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
What are the chances of seeing a skinny man next to a catholic woman?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Dec 10 2020
What do you call an advertisement for the Catholic Church?
π︎ 19
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
Iβm not Catholic...
...but I gave up picking my belly button for lint.
(emo philips)
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
What do you call a catholic leader that does weed?
π︎ 40
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
The Catholic Church announced it is creating an MMO
Massively Multiprayer Online
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
I have just found the Catholic version of pay per view.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
Iβm a lapsed Catholic.
I ran rings around the Pope.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 04 2020
A Buddhist monk, a Catholic priest, and a rabbit walk into a bar...
The rabbit says "I think I'm a typo"
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
A catholic priest walked into the wrong congregation
π︎ 26
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
A Catholic priest will always be a Catholic until he goes on a pilgrimage....
...then He becomes a Roamin' Catholic
π︎ 24
π
︎ Oct 21 2020
Lost a race to a catholic lady in long robes today
I thought I was the fastest, turns out Iβm second to nun
π︎ 83
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
What did french God say to the Catholics?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
Physics: Why canβt Catholics travel at light speed?
π︎ 53
π
︎ Aug 20 2020
How many f***s does a catholic sister give?
Nun.
[Inspired by Netflix - Warrior Nun]
π︎ 145
π
︎ Jul 25 2020
Puns
π︎ 15
π
︎ Feb 17 2021
Whatβs the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment and the other requires oinkment.
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
How do members of the Catholic Church pay each other?
They use papal transactions
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 27 2020
To avoid Covid on my flight, they converted the whole plane to Catholicism and started praying.
Unfortunately now weβve got a load of confirmed cases...
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
How do we know that atoms are Catholic?
π︎ 530
π
︎ Feb 09 2020
Why is a Catholic Mass like The Gunfight At The O.K. Corral?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 15 2020
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
π︎ 92
π
︎ May 04 2020
I went in for surgery today and the doctor found catholic zombies inside me!
He said he found an infected mass.....
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 01 2020
What did the Catholic say to the Hindu?
Your karma ran over my dogma!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 04 2020
What do you call a levitating monk?
π︎ 60
π
︎ Jan 23 2021
What do you call a nun that sleepwalks?
π︎ 61
π
︎ Jan 11 2021
What do you call a Catholic priest that becomes a lawyer?
π︎ 34
π
︎ Apr 01 2020
If Catholic holy women wear Converse tennis shoes...
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 22 2020
Why donβt catholic priest talk about molestation in the church?
π︎ 17
π
︎ May 14 2020
How can a Catholic get out of jail?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Mar 10 2020
If you donβt get why catholics have dirty foreheads today...
Why donβt you just ash them?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 27 2020
What do you call a devout Catholic American Actress?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 07 2020
CATholic
π︎ 29
π
︎ Oct 06 2019
My friend is a Roman Catholic priest, great at his job - he absolutely kills it every Sunday.
π︎ 57
π
︎ Aug 01 2019
The churches in Las Vegas
Did You Knowβ¦
In Las Vegas there are more Catholic Churches than casinos. Not surprisingly some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed.
Since they get chips from many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings. The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed In.
This is done by the chip monks.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Dec 03 2020
I stopped returning calls and texting back the local catholic priest...
You could say I holy ghosted him.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 04 2020
A Catholic priest, a Baptist preacher, and a rabbit walk into a bar.
There rabbit takes a look around the joint and says, "I'm beginning to think I'm a typo."
π︎ 61
π
︎ Feb 21 2020
What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
π︎ 29
π
︎ Jan 09 2021
I'm not Catholic but...
I gave up picking my belly button for lint.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 01 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
