Just found out im still a part of the catholic church even though ive been an atheist for years...
...guess you could call me a serial sinner
What is the difference between a Protestant & a Catholic church?
A Catholic church is full of gild!
What do you call an advertisement for the Catholic Church?
The Catholic Church announced it is creating an MMO
Massively Multiprayer Online
The elderly wife in church turned to her husband and said, “I’ve just done a silent fart. What should I do?”
He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.
How do members of the Catholic Church pay each other?
They use papal transactions
What do you call 2000 pounds of bones?
What are Pastafarian churches called?
Why don’t catholic priest talk about molestation in the church?
Did you know that Mortal Kombat is based on a Scandinavian church song?
More precisely, a Finnish Hymn.
The Catholic walked into a beauty shop and asked:
What do you call a Middle Eastern penny pincher?
Why did the 9V battery get kicked out of church?
Because they were holding an AA Meeting
Did you know? I certainly didn’t but, that game ‘Mortal Combat’ was originally based upon a very old Scandinavian church song.
>!It was a Finnish Hymn!<
An elderly couple is in a church. The wife says to the husband “I’ve let out one of those silent farts, what do I do?”
The husband says “Change the battery in your hearing aid.”
My Dad: Did you know that Mortal Kombat is actually based on an old Scandinavian church song?
Me: Wait, what? Really?
Dad: Yeah, a Finnish Hymn.
You cant blame middle eastern spices when things go wrong.
After all, they're only cumin.
What do you call a church on the beach?
(X post) An artillery captain was made a saint by the Catholic Church.
One could say he was cannonized,
In a Protestant church.
I saw a large metal contraption with smoke coming from it.
I asked "Is that an organ?"
They said "No, it's a catholic converter."
My friend asked if I knew of any Middle Eastern countries…
I was like. Oman, I don’t know. Then I I was like, Yemen, I might be able to name a few.
The creator of Mortal Kombat got the idea for the game while visiting a church in Finland...
... listening to a Finnish Hymn
The Final Catholic Service
The Final Catholic religious service right before the world is destroyed will be held in an ICBM silo.
They'll have Critical Mass.
How do the sisters feel about the latest sex scandal in the Catholic Church?
My wife told me that this middle eastern themed flea market down the road got shut down over the weekend.
Well that’s bazaar, I thought.
There was a naked man running around the church
The police caught him by the organ
Did you know...
In Las Vegas there are more Catholic churches than casinos? Not surprisingly, many Sunday worshippers will give casino chips instead of cash when the offering plate is passed around. Since the churches get chips from so many different casinos, they have devised a way to collect the offerings. They send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting, and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in. This is done by the chip monks.
So I went to church and looked around for people
A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
When the church relocated ...
it had an organ transplant.
For some time now, the Church of Scientology has been trying to prevent one of its most outspoken members from saying anything too embarrassing.
They call it “Cruise Control”.
I told my son, look the church has locked up the door and turned off their lights. He said, what's that got to do with anything? I said well,...
What would you call the leader of the Catholic Church if he lived in the arctic?
My wife played Jesus in the Easter play at church.
Some of the more traditional members were uncomfortable with her cross-dressing.
What do you call Batman that skips church?
In the church of the workshop...
In Sweden, footraces sometimes start a short distance away from the country’s eastern border.
The winner is the first person to cross the Finnish line.
I went on a date with a catholic woman yesterday.
I tried to have a nice conversation, flirt, and enjoy our dinner, but she was having nun of it.
According to the catholic church, Popeye has blessed sight.
Did you know the Mortal Kombat theme song actually comes from a Scandinavian church song?
An artillery captain was made a saint in the Catholic Church.
One could say he was cannonized.
Did you know Mortal Kombat is actually based on an old Scandinavian church song?
It’s called a ‘Finnish Hymn’.
Did you know that Mortal Combat is based off of a Scandinavian church song?
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Did you know Mortal Kombat was based on an old Scandinavian church song?
A Finnish Hymn, if you would
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