The Church of England has finally approved of female bishops.
Now British women are finally free to move diagonally.
In an announcement to coincide with International Women's Day, the Church of England has announced a drive to increase the number of female vicars...
They want to decrease the gender pray gap
Why was it so hard to go to church in England after WWII?
In the church of the workshop...
A local themed Grandad joke from the northeast of England: If you walk to Walker and bike to Byker, what do you do at Wallsend?
What do you call it when a sister of the church is speaking gibberish?
What type of fruit Must get married in a Church?
When you leave the church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster...
That's called A-pasta-cy
I'm proud of that one. I originally posted it to r/cleanjokes
Just found out im still a part of the catholic church even though ive been an atheist for years...
...guess you could call me a serial sinner
Why was the church song leader so happy when a member of her congregation was killed in a car accident?
The deceased was an organ donor.
So I went to church and looked around for people
When the church relocated ...
it had an organ transplant.
What do you call it when Batman skips church?
What is the organ donation center called in England?
I’m driving through England, and will be staying in Greenwich tomorrow.
Not sure what to do in the Mean Time.
My wife played Jesus in the Easter play at church.
Some of the more traditional members were uncomfortable with her cross-dressing.
I told my son, look the church has locked up the door and turned off their lights. He said, what's that got to do with anything? I said well,...
A blonde goes into a church and asks the minister, "How much does it cost to rent a church singing group?"He said,"Do you mean a choir?"
She said "Fine... How much does it cost to acquire a church singing group?"
The only people to show up to my friend’s funeral were some of his one night stands and some friends from church.
Why did the melon have a church wedding?
A Higgs Boson walks into a church
The pastor says, “You can’t be in here!”
The Higgs Boson replies, “Well without me you can’t have mass.”
England doesn’t have a kidney bank
But it does have a Liverpool.
A kitten with a lisp goes to a different church every week.
Did you hear about the guy that went streaking through the church?
They caught him by the organ.
How do you get your child excited to go to church?
Tell them they are going to the prayground
I got into a fight with my brother on the way to church today because he was positive that Jesus was an Intel processor guy....
When anybody with half a brain clearly knows he has a Ryzen
What happens to someone who farts in church?
They have to sit in their own pew.
History
If the Church of England wants to write the history I guess I can't complain.
After all, histories written by the vicars.
How many people showed up to the church yesterday?
What's the sound an England drum set makes?
Which county in England has just two letters in its name?
First time my dad took me to church I noticed there was a lady disrobing dolls and putting the clothes on a small cross. I asked my dad what she was doing.
He said "Oh that's just a cross dresser..."
Why did the melons run away and get married instead of have a big church wedding like their parents wanted?
Because they could elope.
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham
What does a phaser sound like in church?
With the global warming raising the sea level, it is only a question of time for England to become Engsea.
The seating columns at my church are going through a period of awkward changes...
***Pew***berty, in other words.
Barack Obama at our local church making continual ‘Ding Dong’ noises.
I can see why he won the No peace Bell Prize
So we all know that you find H2O inside a fire hydrant, but what do you find on the outside of a fire hydrant?
A man in Yorkshire, England forgot about his appointment at the sperm bank.
When he finally arrived, the person at the desk told him, “Ejaculate”
Why did the two melons have a church wedding?
What do you call Batman that skips church?
What do you call an organ donation center in England?
What do you call it when batman skips church?
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