There's a caterpillar near the flower
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/asyazzz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a caterpillar's worst enemy?

A dogerpillar.

This was a joke from my first book of jokes I received on my 8th birthday. I felt it was appropriate on my cake day.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RobertJSh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Two caterpillars are escaping a spider...

They climb up a branch and get to the edge, but realize they are now trapped.

"Hold on tight!" says the first caterpillar, and he quickly chews through the branch. It snaps and they begin to fall, but he grabs two protruding twigs and steers the branch through the air with grace and finesse.

"That's amazing!" says the second caterpillar. "How in the world are you doing that?!"

The first caterpillar scoffs. "Am I the only one in the whole damn forest who knows how to drive a stick?"

πŸ‘︎ 177
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the Irish caterpillar?

It turned into a frog 🐸

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mogwair
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I love raising caterpillars as pets.

It always gives me butterflies.

πŸ‘︎ 214
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I helped my kid put his caterpillar on a parsley plant

The plant is now parsley consumed.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kapitallist
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I spent weeks in the jungle with nothing to eat but raw caterpillars.

When I walked back into civilisation, there were certainly a few butterflies in my stomach.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DemonLordMammon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
What are caterpillars afraid of?

Dogerpillars.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GavinAT
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2018
🚨︎ report
What is a caterpillar afraid of?

A dog-erpillar!

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CanadianShadow
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
🚨︎ report
I told my dad that I'm having trouble with caterpillars eating my succulents...

He said, "you know what you need to do?"

"Maybe use some vinegar spray?"

"Chase them off with dog-erpillars!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TARDISandFirebolt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2017
🚨︎ report
What's the caterpillar's worst enemy? (Saw this on another subreddit)

A dogerpillar.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/teekayohh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2013
🚨︎ report
What's a caterpillar most afraid of?

A dogerpillar

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crispyjay
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2014
🚨︎ report
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."

"Stop eating caterpillars!"

πŸ‘︎ 869
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Do you know Kris Alice?

She used to be a caterpillar, but now she’s a butterfly.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone should remake The Human Centipede with cats.

You can call it "Caterpillar"

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What's one thing that will always give you butterflies no matter what?

Caterpillars

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ciaranl9
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Which bug is strong enough to work in construction?

A Caterpillar.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Butterflies just aren't what they used to be.
πŸ‘︎ 287
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kopextacy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2016
🚨︎ report
What's it with Eminem and Dad jokes?

I mean... just look at those:

- Why has Gwen Stacy been on the web lately?

to spite her man. -River

- Why do you carry a Laptop in your back pocket?

Because rapping like a computer must be in my genes. - Rap God

- Why did Eminem blow?

All he did was throw f-bombs - Rap God

- Why did Eminem buy the rap game a maxi pad?

Because it's having a rough time period. - Rap God

- Why did Eminem look so shocked when he watched a church gathering take place?

He was witnessing a mass occur. - Rap God

- How could Eminem poop Jerusalem?

Because his shit is real. - Caterpillar

- Why is Eminem so ill-behaved?

He's got a couple of mansions, but still no mannors. - Lucky You

And these are just a select few.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DenaPhoenix
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I was eating garden fresh broccoli with my family.

After being the only one who ate some, I noticed that there were two dead caterpillars on the plate, meaning I likely ate a few of them in the broccoli before noticing.

My fiance, as soon as I told no one else to eat the broccoli because caterpillars, immediately spoke up and said, "Are you nervous about eating those? Because I'm sure your going to have butterflies in your stomach about it later."

πŸ‘︎ 122
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lordbearhammer
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2016
🚨︎ report
What do you call a column shaped as a cat?

A caterpillar

Credit: Me

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fornothing0130
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2017
🚨︎ report
Me: I'm so nervous I feel like I have butterflies in my stomach...

Dad: Have you've been eating caterpillars? Me: omg ...

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KittieCat4
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2017
🚨︎ report
I was nervous before a presentation i had to do

DAD: U all ready for your presentation ME: yea but im kinda nervous, feeling the butterflies in my stomach DAD: well you should't have eaten caterpillars then

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ringboard
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2014
🚨︎ report
This dadjoke gracefully emerged from its cocoon...

I mention that my friend's parents are engineers at Caterpillar.

Dad: If they work there for a while, maybe they will finally get promoted to work at Butterfly!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/guess_my_password
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2014
🚨︎ report
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."

"Stop eating caterpillars!"

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.