How to call a fish who cares only for oneself?
My elderly neighbor had some landscapers take care of his lawn every weekend for several years. Recently, he hired a new crew, but forgot to fire the old crew. So this weekend they both showed up to mow his lawn, and got into a fight over who should be there.
He had no idea he had started a turf war.
What do you call people that care for chickens?
These days everyone seems to be going for progressiveness until it comes to something they really care about.
& hence I don't care 'bout anything.
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
Are you Tina Fey-mished? Would you care for Adele-ectable Meal? Come to Celebrit-Eats
Help me think of more celebrity food puns please!
The menu includes such dishes as:
-Marilyn Mon-roast beef
-Patrick Stew-art
-Tim Curry
-The Cate Blan-cheddar burger
-The Audrey Hep-burger
-Hayden Panet-tiramisu
-Leonard Nim-oysters
Add moreeeee
Last time I was on a flight, the stewardess approached me and asked, “Sir, would you care for a drink?”
I asked her, “what are my options?”
She said, “yes or no.”
Did you know that the military has an officer designated for taking care of restrooms?
For the ones who don't care for all the sales going on
I don’t care for the bread they serve at the local Indian restaurant.
But it’s really a naan issue.
My dad just handed me a pig in a blanket Dad: Would you care for one of these
Me: Only if it needed me..
I’ve been constipated for days but I don’t really care.
I just don’t give a shit.
I'm so stupidly proud of myself for this message that I don't even care if he responds to me.
Care for some gum? I have extra.
I'm addicted to robbing chemistry stores. It is what I live for. I know that it's illegal, I know that it's dangerous. I've even nearly been killed a couple of times. But I don't care,
What does a farmer care more for than his wife?
I never did care for the old Chinese woman that lives down the street.
But I must respect the elder Lee.
I didn't care for the Anglican church...
The people I met were quite obtuse, and their punishments for sins are too acute.
But they might be right.
Care to create a pun for change?
I'm working on a silly project for my job, and I'm trying to come up with punny fake names for the name tags. I work at a community bank - anything finance and banking product or industry related is good, I am god awful at puns and so far I've only got these:
Ann U. Ities
Dee Posit
Owen A. Lott
Punmasters and fans, lend me your talents? :)
For my english final, I had to type a 6 page essay about AIDS, along with a one slide powerpoint with related pictures. My teacher didn't care for my pun.
imgur.com/y5yqAD8
I was kicked out of the gym for fighting with my step aerobics instructor, but I don’t care.
She isn’t my real aerobics instructor.
The man I hired to watch my cattle was afraid of them a first. Now he cares for them like they're his children!
He went from coward to cow ward.
my waitress asked if I'd care for a beer
I said, "if it needed me"
You know, before last year I didn't much care for dad jokes
but now that I've had a child of my own, they've really groan on me.
What do you call someone who cares for chickens?
An open letter for anyone who cares
My friends were arguing about which roller coaster to go on next at the amusement park. When they asked for my opinion, I told them I didn't care.
I was just along for the rides.
Anyone care for a Dad Joke comic?
http://mandatoryrollercoaster.com/post/147225887871/band-saw
It was impossible to tell my kids I didn't care for the Transformers films
I like big bots and I cannot lie.
When I graduate from vet school, I want to care for the pets of former nazi soldiers.
Basically, I want to be a veteran aryan veterinarian.
I don't care for larvae
they just grub me the wrong way
I told my daughter about cake day, she didn't care, she just wanted pancakes. So I guess I'll settle for a pan-cake day post.
imgur.com/a/xg8ce
I don't care for long goodbyes, so let's keep this one short.
Marvin Gaye is an advocate for manual lawn care...
...because there ain't nothing like the reel thing baby
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