Two carbons walk into a bar together, they had a few drinks and really liked each other by the end of it.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 27 2019
How do you know that carbon molecules are liars?
Because they make up everything
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jul 14 2022
I dream of swimming in a fruit-flavored carbonated beverage
It's probably a Fanta sea though.
π︎ 423
π
︎ May 01 2022
i heard you can get carbon and iron half off if you buy them as an alloy
π︎ 29
π
︎ May 28 2022
the world is made up of 70% water but its not carbonated...
π︎ 16
π
︎ Apr 20 2022
Two Carbon atoms are sitting next to each other at the bar
One looks at the other and say "I think I just lost an electron!!" The other says "Are you sure??!!" Atom looks back and says "Yup, I'm positive"
π︎ 24
π
︎ Mar 31 2022
Carbon atoms worried too much and transformed into diamonds
It was under alot of pressure
π︎ 12
π
︎ Apr 30 2022
The surface of the earth is approx 70% water. None of it is carbonated.
Proving the earth is flat.
π︎ 393
π
︎ Jan 06 2022
A man recently died when a periodic table display fell on him...
The official cause of death was "Exposure to the Elements".
π︎ 455
π
︎ Jul 09 2022
I don't have a problem if you're trans. I don't have a problem if you're fat.
But if you're a trans fat, I'm going to avoid you.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ May 12 2022
What's the best place to go for your daily serving of potassium, fluorine, and carbon?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 20 2022
Just picked up a tonne of carbon and iron for five bucks
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 21 2022
My kid just came up to me and asked if the Earth was flat. I told him no, but he shook his head.
βDad, the Earth is 71 percent water, and nearly all of it is uncarbonated.β
(He really made this up. ONE OF US)
An edit for the doubters: He was drinking a Fanta and we were watching Prehistoric Planet together when he thought up the basic idea. I helped him with the punchline, because he was having trouble making it land (heβs 11, and more mechanically-minded than artsy, if you know what I mean, so he needed help on the phrasing).
Itβs not a super complicated joke, so of course itβs not new, but hey, heβs 11. Good job, kid.
π︎ 873
π
︎ Jun 11 2022
why do archaeologists keep telling me I can date carbon?
she isnβt returning any of my calls :(
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 03 2022
My wife said she wanted a new diamond so I gave her a stone.
I hold her if she holds on to it as hard as she does the past, she would have one.
π︎ 334
π
︎ May 23 2022
This afternoon my son told me that Ducati is selling carbon-fiber racing boots.
I told him that if he bought me some I could lower my carbon footprint.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 02 2022
I don't have a carbon footprint.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 05 2022
Why did the carbon atoms on the boat throw up?
They got a little C6 [cee-six, sea sick]
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 19 2022
I don't know what carbon dating is...
But, I'll try anything at this point.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 11 2022
Dating between carbon descendants
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Dec 14 2020
I work long boring hours in a carbonated soft drinks factory.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 15 2022
Carbon dating
π︎ 29
π
︎ Sep 29 2021
Did you hear about the new Carbon dating app?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 19 2021
In love with Carbon
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Sep 09 2020
What do you call a doctor who only prescribes carbonated beverages?
π︎ 32
π
︎ Jul 10 2021
I was gonna tell a joke about sodium, but
π︎ 51
π
︎ Apr 04 2022
Hereβs how I know the Earth is flat: 71% of the Earthβs surface is waterβ¦
And none of it is carbonated.
π︎ 88
π
︎ Apr 06 2022
Looking for electricity pun/punch line ideas
I'm writing an article about lithium-ion battery energy storage systems (ESS). The article talks highly of ESSs and the positive impact this technology will have in transitioning our energy grid to net neutral carbon emissions.
The last sentence of the article is currently "in short, the future for how we build cities is charged with potential."
Anyone have a better pun/punch line idea for this sentence?
Not sure if this is appropriate for this sub but if not, let me know if there's anywhere I can post this. Thanks a lot :)
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 29 2022
Why do archaeologists get all the girls?
Because they have the best dating techniques
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Nov 28 2021
Maybe carbon doesn't want to be a diamond
it's just pressured into it
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 08 2021
I heard there was quarrel between Carbon alloys
π︎ 14
π
︎ Feb 05 2021
Iβm in favor of three-carbon alkanes.
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 03 2021
I stopped walking on coal to limit my carbon footprint
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
What does a constipated android eat?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 30 2022
A treeβs wood is 50% carbon, 42% oxygen, 6% hydrogen, 1% nitrogen
You can call it a chemis-tree
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
Why did the moron run coal on his feet?
He wanted to see what his carbon footprint looked like
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 26 2022
The Carbon Monoxide detector went of last night,
Can't say I remember why though.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 30 2020
What do you call a feline paralyzed from drinking carbonated water?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
The surface of the earth is 70 percent water. None of it carbonated.
Proving the earth is flat.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 09 2022
The earth is approximately 70% water and it isn't carbonated
So technically, the earth is flat.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Nov 22 2021
The Earth is made up of 70% water and itβs uncarbonated..
So itβs technically flat.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Apr 08 2022
The earth is 70% water and uncarbonated.
Which technically makes the earth flat.
π︎ 657
π
︎ Apr 25 2022
Did you hear that you can buy iron and carbon for just one alloy.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 01 2021
I liked Carbonβ¦
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 25 2021
Did you hear that you can buy iron and carbon for the price of just one alloy?
π︎ 29
π
︎ Oct 10 2021
70% of the Earth is covered in water.
Itβs not carbonated.
Therefore, the earth is flat.
π︎ 96
π
︎ Mar 03 2022
The Earth is flat
Over 70% of its surface is water, and none of it is carbonated.
π︎ 91
π
︎ Feb 08 2022
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