Car Insurance Puns

Road Dent Insurance .

Fully cobrahensive. 🐍

Because he already had... anti-accidents.

They stole the sticker and left the car.

They're driving wrecklessly.

Switching my car into reverse and speeding away from the scene of the accident.

It's, uh, Peru dent

I was coming around a corner and almost bumped my cart into his

Me: Oh I'm sorry, excuse me, sir!

Him: It's okay, I have cart insurance!

So, I'm new to this subreddit, so please don't berate me for posting a story instead of a joke ;-;

Anyways, my friend came over to my house for a 2 day sleepover a few weeks ago, and during the sleepover, we went to Petco to buy some stuff for my ferret. While we were there, we just kept gossiping about how cute all the animals there were. There were parrots, other ferrets, turtles, fish, a cat, and lizards.

When we were checking out the lizards, my dad immediately started to warn us about them...

"Don't talk to the lizard, kids! It might want to sell you car insurance! It'll only take 15 minutes or less!"

Gosh, I love my dad XD

Me on the phone talking to insurance company: "finance department helped us"

Son [6] after phone call: "daddy what's the finance department?"

Me: "they helped us with money to buy the car"

Ridley "oh I thought they go find ants"

... I've been out done by a six year old...

So im paying my annual insurance premium for my car and wanted a second opinion on what I'm doing so I don't screw it up.

Me: So I just send them a cheque with the total? I think it's 1942

Dad: hmm that was a good year, well not for the Japs but hey...

Dad: Don't leave food in your car.

Me: I checked. No food. Not even a picnic basket. I wonder if insurance would cover bear attacks?

Dad: I checked, you have bear minimum insurance lol

I'm feeling really bummed about what happened to my car, and to make matters worse, my insurance called and told me that I'm not a responsible person.

We got a new car and I needed some info for the insurance company.

Me: What does the odometer read?

Her: Mostly miles, but it prefers the New Yorker for the comics.

My wife was talking about her mom's car getting hit by a deer.

She said people were making the joke "I hope you got the deer's insurance!"

I said "Maybe they're from New Hampshire if they didn't have insurance."

Our girlfriend piped up and said "Maybe they were a John Doe!"

We have a deck that we can park two of our cars under, and here recently we got 18 inches of snow. my parents were worried about our deck collapsing under all the weight after our woodshed roof collapsed. they were discussing what insurance would cover our cars of they were damaged. when my mom said "I don't know what would cover our cars". When I said "well if the deck collapsed I'm pretty sure it would cover them both."

Listening to the radio in the car. American Family insurance commercial comes on. Kid says something about a pirate ship.

Dad- do you know why I got a pirate ship? Me - ...why? Dad- it looks good in my yaaaaard