After he installs the new granite surfaces in your kitchen, does the Cabinet Maker hand you

a counter fit bill?

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2017
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Why was the cabinet maker fired on his first day?

He just couldn't get a handle on it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2017
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My buddy sells office supplies, label makers, and file cabinets to the Mafia.

He is involved in very organized crime.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
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My grandfather always used to say, β€œAs one door closes another one opens.”

Lovely man.

Terrible cabinet maker.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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grandpa told me: "if a door closes somewhere, another opens

he was a really bad cabinet maker...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevin_flu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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My grandad always said: "When one door closes, another one opens"...

...Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker.

πŸ“· Removed - Punchline in title

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrGonzoDog
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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The hidden puns of LexisNexis

Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.

Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":

  • Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
  • It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
  • What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
  • Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
  • Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
  • Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
  • If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
  • Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
  • Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
  • American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
  • The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
  • Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
  • Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
  • Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
  • Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
  • Rittal me this, Batman!
  • Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
  • Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
  • If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
  • When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
  • You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
  • Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
  • Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
  • Don't think Seton is
... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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As my Dad used to say, β€œwhen one door closes, another one opens.”

Lovely man, lousy cabinet maker though.

πŸ‘︎ 131
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scruffyshaggy
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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My grandfather always said when one door closes another one opens

He was a great man but a terrible cabinet maker

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ouska31
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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