Thereโ€™s a horse that lives next door to me.

Heโ€™s my naaay-bur

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Zeke_Smith
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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Thereโ€™s a tool for every job

At work, Gary has to cut holes in sheet metal and has to use a de-burring hook to remove the sharp edges of the cutout. He always catches someone with their guard down and ask to borrow their heater. Gary works inside in a warm clean building, so itโ€™s an odd request.

Their head tilts sideways like a confused dog, and they say puzzled โ€œHeater?โ€.

Gary replies, โ€œYeah, your de-BUrRRrRR-ing toolโ€ as he crosses his arms and shivers.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/nuclear-juniper
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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I keep asking people what LGBTQ stands for

Bur I never get a straight answer

๐Ÿ‘︎ 662
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PdawgUltimate
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
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Our bedtime conversation

Me: (enormous, burly fart)

Her: My god, that sounds like an animal!

Me: Yeah. It was a butt ox.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 64
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/julius_yang
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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Shoe laces

Wife calls me over to the computer.

Wife: Honey, can you take a look at these shoes for our daughter? They are shock cord bur I don't see a tightener. And I dont know if they tie.

Me: Well, maybe they are Vietnamese.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/latherer
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
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I was caught graffiting by the cops

I tried to deny it, bur the writing was already on the wall

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ATOMMANIPULATOR
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 17 2019
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What do you call a tree with no money?

Bur-oak.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 29
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/theroywonder
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 08 2017
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