Bumping Puns

A list of puns related to "Bumping"

What did the tectonic plate say after bumping into another tectonic plate?

My fault.

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👤︎ u/jfshay
📅︎ Apr 29 2021
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What do you call an Irish man who keeps on bumping off things ?

Rick O'Shea.

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👤︎ u/VERBERD
📅︎ Jan 01 2021
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I'm unobservant, and I keep bumping into things, so I made a note of it.

B♯

👍︎ 1k
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👤︎ u/Feet2Big
📅︎ Oct 08 2016
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Got busted almost bumping into windows on the way to work today
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👤︎ u/jorubhi
📅︎ Apr 23 2019
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I have a fear of speed bumps

I’m slowly getting over it

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👤︎ u/smart-username-here
📅︎ Apr 20 2021
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What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?

Sorry, my fault.

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👤︎ u/jigsatics
📅︎ May 05 2021
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I made this She's got of lumps and bumps but I'm overall happy she's finnished kings, queens, and non-binary beans I present to you, my Les-bee-ian 😂🐝❤️🧡🤍💗
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👤︎ u/xxCandy_floofxx
📅︎ Mar 21 2021
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I am reading a horror novel in Braille.

Something bad is gonna happen, I can feel it.

👍︎ 2k
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👤︎ u/PensionNo8124
📅︎ May 01 2021
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When I first started learning how to drive, I used to be afraid of speed bumps.

But slowly, I got over it.

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👤︎ u/Sodrohu
📅︎ Jan 26 2021
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Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed?

Everybody

👍︎ 10k
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👤︎ u/TakenByKangAndKodos
📅︎ Apr 16 2020
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A blind man walks into a bar

And then a table... And then a chair...

👍︎ 6k
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👤︎ u/Geb69
📅︎ Feb 10 2021
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Guess who I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor!

>!Everybody!<

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👤︎ u/keratoconusgroup
📅︎ Nov 21 2020
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What do you call a T-Rex with a bump on its head ?

A Dino-Sore

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👤︎ u/its_boogeyman
📅︎ Sep 23 2020
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I noticed 2 large bumps on my car battery.

I had them tested and one came back positive. Google says it’s terminal.

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👤︎ u/CodyClay1
📅︎ Apr 19 2020
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Went to go pick my glasses up from SpecSavers today and you’ll never guess who I bumped into!

Everyone.

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👤︎ u/batchyyyyy
📅︎ Oct 24 2020
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What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton when they bumped into each other and fell apart?

Well, it looks like I have a bone to pick with you!

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👤︎ u/saint_davidsonian
📅︎ Oct 07 2020
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I hate it whenever I hit a speed bump...

... but I’ll get over it.

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👤︎ u/cosanostra97
📅︎ Sep 18 2020
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I was on a train when I noticed a bully nearby who were harassing another guy sitting next to me. The bully then shoved the other guy, who bumped into my hand. I got up, punched the bully and said "Not on my watch...

..it's a brand-new Rolex."

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👤︎ u/wIXMamamama
📅︎ Jul 29 2020
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Do you know who I bumped into at the opticians

Everybody

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👤︎ u/xcatboyx
📅︎ Aug 23 2020
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Did you hear about the dolphin that bumped into the whale?

It wasn't on porpoise!

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👤︎ u/JDDDouble
📅︎ May 22 2020
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Today I bumped into the guy who had sold me an antique globe.

It’s a small world.

👍︎ 6k
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Nov 10 2018
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I’ve recently discovered I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

I was a little afraid of speed bumps too, but I’m slowly getting over them!

UPDATE: Thank you so much for all the upvotes and amazing responses, fellow Dad Joke lovers. You make the world a happier place! 🤩

👍︎ 17k
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👤︎ u/Whoopass_voice
📅︎ Nov 12 2020
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The little fish bumped into a wall while swimming up stream

. . . and exclaimed, "Dam!"

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👤︎ u/javacafe
📅︎ Jul 24 2020
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A pregnant co-worker walked into the office the other day. I took a look at her baby bump and said “it’s becoming apparent that you’re becoming a parent”.

Stay safe everyone and try to keep smiling

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👤︎ u/Ascott1963
📅︎ Mar 26 2020
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What do you call a pregnant person in a suit of armour?

Bump in the knight

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👤︎ u/maccer20
📅︎ Feb 18 2021
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You think your tunes bump?
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👤︎ u/Blizzrobe777
📅︎ Nov 16 2019
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My teenage daughter showed me a small bump on her hand and asked what it was...

I told her I thought it was a bug bite and she asked 'But where did I get bitten?' and I said 'On your hand.' :D She even laughed! True story!

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👤︎ u/HumboltQuadrant
📅︎ Jun 22 2020
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I have a fear of speed bumps

But I'm slowly getting over it.

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👤︎ u/Just_Bee_Pawsitive
📅︎ Mar 08 2021
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I used to be scared of speed bumps.

I’m slowly getting over it

👍︎ 208
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👤︎ u/weiderman316
📅︎ Jan 06 2021
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I have a phobia of speed bumps

But I’m slowly getting over it

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👤︎ u/chicomagnifico
📅︎ Jan 08 2021
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Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed...

Everybody

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👤︎ u/typpo_06
📅︎ Nov 18 2020
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I have a fear of speed bumps.

I’m slowly getting over it.

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👤︎ u/muisicaldork
📅︎ Sep 23 2020
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Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed

Everybody.

👍︎ 3k
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👤︎ u/KoronaSenpai
📅︎ Mar 27 2020
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What did the tectonic plate say when it bumped into another tectonic plate?

Sorry, that's my fault.

👍︎ 1k
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👤︎ u/detivninu
📅︎ Feb 07 2020
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One tectonic plate bumped into another and then said

Sorry, My fault

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👤︎ u/WDizzle
📅︎ Jul 10 2020
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I have a fear of speed bumps,

But I'm slowly getting over it.

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👤︎ u/OfCuriousWorkmanship
📅︎ Sep 16 2020
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I have a fear of speed bumps....

but I’m slowly getting over it.

👍︎ 55
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👤︎ u/JCraay
📅︎ Sep 10 2020
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I have a speed bump phobia

But I am slowly getting over it.

👍︎ 83
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👤︎ u/Bruinsfan011
📅︎ Jun 29 2020
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I have a fear of speed bumps

But I’m slowly getting over it

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👤︎ u/biscuithead85
📅︎ Sep 24 2020
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I just noticed two large bumps on my car battery.

I had one of them tested, and it was positive. Hope it's not terminal.

👍︎ 11
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👤︎ u/throwingitout2day
📅︎ Aug 11 2020
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I was on a train when I noticed a bully nearby who were harassing another guy sitting next to me. The bully then shoved the other guy, who bumped into my hand. I got up, punched the bully and said "Not on my watch...

..it's a brand new Rolex."

👍︎ 9
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👤︎ u/wIXMamamama
📅︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Recently I bumped into the guy that sold me an antique globe.

It’s a small world.

👍︎ 4k
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ May 08 2019
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Yesterday, I bumped into the guy who once sold me an antique globe.

It’s a small world.

👍︎ 10
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jul 10 2020
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I have a fear of speed bumps...

but I'm slowly getting over it.

👍︎ 30
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👤︎ u/Rav4xle
📅︎ Jun 14 2020
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I have an intense fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
👍︎ 9k
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👤︎ u/Tardtart
📅︎ Jul 17 2018
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Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed

Everybody.

👍︎ 53
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👤︎ u/KoronaSenpai
📅︎ Mar 27 2020
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What did the fish say when he bumped into a brick wall?

Dam

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👤︎ u/flaminghotdillpickle
📅︎ Apr 17 2020
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