The man asks "is this good for wasps?"
The cashier says "no sir, it kills them"
Its butt!
Now all I have to show for it is a nervous tick.
I turn to her and say “I bet he don’t have the guts to do that again”
Edit: holy shit y’all this blew up. Thank you master dads. I feel worthy
Lettuce spray
A centipede. I’m a dad, can confirm
I can’t find the words for how much this bugs me.
My wife told me to get over it cause it was just one byte.
"I mite be !!" giggles the mite.
"That's the worst pun I've ever heard" groans the fly.
"What do you expect?" says the mite. "I came up with it on the fly. "
Pilgrims, of course!
Doctor: [Hands baby to new father] "I'm sorry to have to tell you sir, your wife didn't make it..."
New father: [Hands baby back to doctor] "Well give me the one that she did make then..."
(Sorry, completely stole this from a video some other dude made. But had to share it, as I thought it was hilarious...!)
I keep hearing about the capital insect erection.
A arithme-tick
So this is a true story, and maybe I’ll go to hell for telling it, but I expect I’ll meet the actual perpetrator there:
At baseball practice last night, a coach asked if I’d seen the rabbit — the dead one. What? He had me look by a fence where there wasn’t a dead bunny, but HALF of one: Literally (and eerily) just the bottom half, with the top completely missing. Still shuddering over this.
Properly disposed of it and was feeling unsettled, but sprung right back to true dad form when he jokingly accused me of harming the rabbit. I told him that he knew it couldn’t have been me — I’ve never been one to split hares
Its ass.
.... because they’re full of anty bodies
It's called the Texas Chainsaw Mass-acre.
I said “I bet you don’t have the guts to do that again”
There was a bug where an NPC in the game just phases through a door like there’s nothing right there.
Guess that’s what you get when watching a walkthrough gameplay video.
She’s going to have her baby in the spring!
It's having babies in the spring.
Eggs-ercise, specifically hare-obics
A moussequito
Bugs Bunny
Dynomites
I put it on, expecting relaxing ambient sounds like cicadas and such, but all I got was a droning buzz. That's when I realized that I was playing the bee side.
WhatsApp doc.
Insecticide.
I call the search Off! It's curtains for that quest!
Because they're insects.
I will now only eat animals that are herbivores.
I think it’s BP.
If a cockroach has sex with its sister, is it considered infest?
I need insect puns for the the name of a company who makes food out of edible bugs. It's a packaging project for a graphic design class. I think I'm going with trail mix and the three bugs I'm using are a beetle, cicada, and horn worm. If that helps at all. I would be eternally grateful!!
His butt
